You Can Date Boys When You're Forty: Dave Barry on Parenting and Other Topics He Knows Very Little About

This hilarious monologue by Dave Barry touches on a number of topics including parenting, airplanes, aging, Viagra, Fifty Shades of Gray, a family trip to Israel, how to become a published writer, and the necessary elements for plots in successful books.

I listened to the audio version of this book, read by the author, and his narration was perfect.

Evaluation: Even when Dave Barry is not being funny (and no one can be funny every single second), he never fails to be interesting and entertaining. And listening to the book gives you the added bonus of having everyone in the cars around you wondering what kind of weirdo laughs out loud to herself while in the car alone.

This is, at the time of this writing, Dave Barry’s latest book of hitherto unpublished essays, based on the fact that it was published in 2014 and it’s only April. The title, naturally, is misleading and has been chosen from one line in the book because it’s funny. Or at least I thought it was funny, and it makes me look good because I—stay with me here—want my kids to hold off on dating until they are twenty-five when their brains have fully matured, biologically speaking. Not that anyone else in my house agrees with me, and one of my daughters has had two boyfriends already and she hasn’t even finished high school (I know, you’re shocked).

In this book Dave, tells us about his trip to a Justin Bieber concert with his 13 show more year old daughter, Sophie, manliness, what women want (that essay could just as easily be titled “a review of 50 Shades of Grey,” and I’m sure I enjoyed it far more than I would ever enjoy the book, which, like his wife, I haven’t read), and so on. This book is about more than just laughs, however, for example, in one essay he learns you real good grammar.

So why only three stars, even though my 15 year old yelled at me for laughing too loud when she was trying to fall asleep on a school night? I’ll tell you:

1. not all the essays are equally funny
2. sometimes he uses language offensive to me (but perhaps not to you)
3. He is sporting, and I’m not making this up, a haircut that looks a lot like what some of the boys I went to high school wore—in the 1970s.
4. No other reasons that I can think of. show less

Don't let the title fool you; parenting is not the main focus of this book. In fact, there is no main focus. It's just a random collection of humorous essays, but, as Barry says in the introduction, the publisher for some reason wouldn't let him call it Dave Barry's Vague General Book of Humor Topics.

As is always the case with Barry, it's funny stuff. OK, none of it left me in rolling on the floor unable to breathe through the laughter, but I was chuckling by the time I'd finished the first page of the introduction, and with satisfying regularity after that. Barry does rely a little too much on gender-stereotype-based humor, which I tend to find annoying in that it's-not-funny-because-it's-not-true kind of way. (At least, I never show more recognize myself or the men and women I know in comedians' caricatures.) But it says something impressive about Barry that he can make even humor that basically boils down to "Ha, ha, women like scented candles and men don't talk about their feelings!" funny to me. His "Grammar FAQ" is way, way funnier, though. Heck, that one's probably enough to make the book worthwhile all by itself. show less

There's no point in reviewing Dave Barry. The only thing to do is quote him, so people can decide for themselves if they enjoy his humor or if -- and I'm not here to judge, since I celebrate diversity of thought and anyway it's not as if we choose what we find funny -- they are bad people.

So here is a quote from Barry's account of his trip to Israel, which I offer to you the way friends of mine sometimes offer me those "super-taster" test strips. Have you seen these? They're these skinny little strips of paper you're supposed to let sit on your tongue for about 15 seconds. If after that time you don't notice anything, you're normal. If you can't keep the paper in your mouth for that long because you're too busy retching and spitting and show more wondering if everything you eat for the rest of your life is going to taste like a rusty nail (answer: yes), you're what's known as a "super taster," which makes you better than other people -- normal people, nice people, people who can just sit down and eat already without being a total diva about every damned ingredient. What a bunch of freakin' peasants.

Anyway. Here's your quote:

I find a sidewalk stall where an elderly man is displaying many kinds of footwear. I pick up a sandal and show it to the man.

"Forty shekels," he says, in a heavy accent.

At this point, I'm supposed to bargain. All the guide books say so. I'm supposed to offer the man, say, fifteen shekels, and then, in the ancient Middle Eastern tradition, we'll haggle for a while, and finally we will agree on a price. Or we will kill each other's entire families. But the rule of buying in a Middle Eastern market is never pay the asking price.

However, I come from a long line of WASPs. Our tradition is to pay full price, then get revenge by starting an exclusive country club.

So: are you a super taster? I mean, a good person? I mean, do you want to read this book now?

If you're a writer, you should read You Can Date Boys just for the last chapter, which will seem terrifyingly familiar to anyone who's had even the tiniest smidgen of success with their writing. This chapter is called "How to Become A Professional Author," and it's all about how, if you'd like to make it big as a writer, you should (of course!) write a long letter to an author you admire and ask for free advice. "This is," as Barry points out, "the only known way to succeed as a writer." Bonus points if you offer the already-successful author the chance to work with you on a project!

Read this book if you need something funny to read, or if you want advice on making big bucks in the field of writing. (Ask me how! Actually, don't!) show less

Yes, three stars is the max. Humor books, the best ones as "You Can Date..." is, are funny, very funny. Everything is funny. Funny, funny, funny. The jokes just keep coming, and coming, and coming......Until you just get numb. Has no one ever explained to these humorists that sometimes less is more? YCD is not my first humor book, but maybe it's my last. I've tried a number of books by authors that I see on TV all the time, the top-notch ones. Matter of fact what turned me on to this book was hearing author Barry interviewed on the Tony Kornheiser radio show. Now Mr. Tony is also a very witty, very funny guy, and that day they were both spot-on, trading one liners, feeding on each other, and promoting Barry's book. I decided to read it, show more paying no attention to the little angel on my shoulder who kept reminding me that I had read a number of Barry's essays in the Washington Post magazine and never thought they were all that funny. Oh, and it's not all about parenting a teen age girl either, that's only about 10-20 percent of the book. Actually, my favorite piece was a long one about a recent trip to Israel. Oh, and that reminds me, in that piece he really picked on his wife for shopping all the time, no matter where. Shop, shop, shop, shop, shop. Again the less is more thing. Do I not have a sense of humor you might be wondering? Let me recommend a funny book. Try "Where'd you go, Bernadette?" by Semple. It is not a joke book. It is a contemporary novel about a family living in Seattle in the shade of Microsoft. I laughed out loud at that one a number of times, something I never did for any humor book show less

Laugh out loud funny, and at times surprisingly bawdy. Readable and fun, a quick enjoyable look at modern life.

When I was in High school I really like Dave Barry. So when I saw this audio book at the public library I decided I had to pick it up. One of two things is true, either my tastes have changed completely, or Dave Barry has gotten less funny over the years, I believe its the alter and probably why he doesn’t have a indicated column any more.

This collection of short stories is supposed to show the humor found in the author's everday life. In fact is only highlights how boring the life of a 65 year old author who fathers a teenage girl is.

You could tell he was trying to be funny, but that was it. The story about taking his daughter to a Justin Beiber concert was the only laugh I had in the whole book. Almost a whole disc was taken up on show more their trip to the Holy Land and the family's search for free wi-fi there in. We get it, tourists are dumb and your wife loves to shop, its not funny.

The last part about "how to become a professional author" was so bad if it wasn't the last story I wouldn’t have finished the book, your sarcasm just makes me mad.

All in all, skip this book and pick up one of Barry's early works, to see if my recollection is correct. show less