The Midnight Examiner

The Midnight Examiner by William Kotzwinkle is a laugh-out-loud funny book. Really. I laughed out loud four times which makes it a very funny book because I don't usually laugh out loud when I read.

The story revolves around a group of misfits who work for a publisher of various tabloid newspapers including the title paper. (It's almost a very twisted version of The Secret of Lost Things reviewed here.) The misfits include publisher, Nathan, spends most of the day in his office keeping his employees at bay through the use of a small blow gun which he uses to fire darts more or less randomly. Hattie, the lone female writer on staff, does all of the romance tabloids and can twist just about every situation into a potential article. The show more tabloids photograpy and artwork is all done by Fernando who dreams of painting giant murals of beautiful women and will begin to do is if left alone in a room with a big white wall for more than a few minutes. They spend their workdays trying to come up with good headlines, because it's all about the headline. Once you have that the stories write themselves. The narrator, Howard, is the editor-in-chief of the Midnight Examiner but he is also the organizing brains behind the publisher's other tabloids: Young Nurse Romance, Brides Tell All, Macho Man, Knockers, Bottoms and Real Detective. He is starting a new tabloid called Prophecy which is aimed at the untapped Christian Evangelical market.

Enter Mitzi Mouse, a sometimes model on the run from the mob and in need of Howard's help. Soon the entire staff of Chameleon Publications is embroiled in a burglary attempt, a mob hit, a voodoo priestess and a seedy cab-driver in a story that could only take place after dark in New York City. The plot is fantatic but it never becomes too over-the-top to believe, just enough to be delightful.

I found out about The Midnight Examiner from a posting on a book blog. I cannot remember which one but I do remember that the blogger lived in the U.K. I'm glad I did. The Midnight Examiner is a lot of fun. The writer's at Chameleon Publications and the people they meet are all interesting characters with a surprising amount of depth for what is basically a farce. Mr. Kotzwinkle has a good time skewering the tabloids and America's obsession with them, but I get the feeling that he is himself something of a fan.

My favorite character is Hattie who writes for several romance tabloids and always speaks in headlines. Take this scene for instance:

I took her slender arm in my hand. "Mitzi's producer interrupted her coffee break, so she shot him."

Hattie brought out her notebook and pencil. "I Told My Boss--One Day You'll Go Too Far."

Who hasn't been there? The rest of the humor in the book is just like that, so if you like that then this is the book for you. If you don't, it's not. As for me, now that I've found William Kotzwinkle, I'm going to keep an eye out for more of his books. show less

Read for March BOTM (Reading 1001) and my first Kotzwinkle. I did not realize that this author also wrote the farting dog novels and The Bear Went Over the Mountain and E.T. This is my first Kotzwinkle. In this humorous book we have a bit of fantasy, a bit of thriller, a bit of satire. The setting is a publishing company in NYC of various sleazy tabloids; Midnight Examiner, Real Detective, Macho Man, etc. Publishing is all about the headlines, those wild ones that catch your eye when your checking out of the grocery store. The setting is also late 1980s culture. The various employers of the publishing company take up arms to rescue a porn queen from the mafia with various comic weapons; blow gun, boomerang, fishing rod, and voodoo. The show more characters are too numerous; Howard Halliday is our main man, but there is Nathan, Hattie, Amber, Yvonne, Celia, Fernando, Crumpacker, and many more. The quest to rescue the porn queen takes the reader on a mad cap trip through NYC with a Middle Eastern driver through the various apartments of the characters of the book giving the reader a picture of NYC life in the late 80s. I enjoyed this quote which I think represents the talent of this author who gets lost in the madcap and excess details; "The tortuous paths through Manhattan are trod by millions of pilgrims, raving, praying, hallucinating, dreaming of deliverance; had we all the glowing abdomen of fireflies and could we be photographed from above, what exquisite weaves would be seen.".

I fault this novel with "excess"; too many characters, too much of trying to cover every stereotype imaginable. On the other hand, the author managed to capture a picture of NYC and culture in the moment. The twin towers which no longer exist have their line in the book. Not sure who the Big Womans is but if it is a cow in women's clothes then is it Elsie the Borden Milk Cow logo?

I have a signed edition, I picked it up probably at Goodwill or used bookstore. show less

Howard Halliday (aka Howard Hammertoe, Habana, Hardon, et al.) is the Editor in Chief of such varied tabloids as The Midnight Examiner, Prophecy, Ladies Own Monthly, Macho Man, Knockers and Bottoms. All articles are created by Howard and his staff of misfits, usually very loosely based on personal experience. “Hammock Salesman Made King of Jungle Tribe,” for example. One of the nude models, Mitzi Mouse, accidentally shoots her porn-movie producer, the gangster Tony Baloney, and the staff goes into action against Baloney and his goombahs. A comic masterpiece.

Kotwinkle is probably more famous for writing E.T., not this, and it’s hard to see why this needs to be read by anyone before they die. This is a shame because he did not in fact actually create E.T., he simply wrote the novel after the screenplay was written by Melissa Mathison. Anyway, I digress …

Not as talented as either Wallace (Infinite Jest) or Vonnegut (Slaughterhouse Five, Breakfast of Champions), Kotzwinkle seems to be trying to match both in this tale of a group of correspondents for a mediocre tabloid in New York. We can at least be thankful that he mirrors Vonnegut and not Wallace in terms of length, and that he’s easy to read. He isn’t a patch on either of them as a satirist, though.

The staff of The Midnight show more Examiner get involved with a local gangster and their lives start to resemble the fake headlines they generate in their day jobs. It’s picaresque and satirical but it’s not going to be anyone’s fave read, and it’s not really going to ever provide much to the world for posterity.

Kotzwinkle has a sense of humour, but it’s definitely not my sense of humour. Judging by reviews online, his humour seems to appeal to a fairly narrow band of humanity. If you’ve got nothing better to do, you might want to see if you fit in this narrow band. Otherwise, you can leave this one by the wayside. show less

Still the funniest book I ever read. Life amongst the seedy low lifes who write for those magazines you always wonder about but can never get the nerve to actually buy when people are looking. If I could give 6 stars this would get it

madcap adventures of staff of sleazy publications

Un livre mythique pour moi, qui m'a poussé à ouvrir un blog dont le livre est éponyme. Mais c'est une autre histoire : l'histoire est absolument hilarante , surtout en première partie du bouquin. Un must indémodable surtout en cette période faisant la part belle au journalisme à sensation (l'histoire se passe dans une boîte d'édition de tabloïds ...).