Your Erroneous Zones

This book was a hot topic when it hit the shelves in the mid ‘70s. I remember some people saying it was no big deal, the ideas in it were just common sense but for a number of us it was revolutionary. Looking back now I realize those reactions were gender based. Approval seeking, guilt, and dependence, which are covered in the book, were a big part of the traditional social roles for women then but not so much for the men who thought the book just stated the obvious.
Now on rereading it, I’m seeing it clearly addressed gender role issues. For example, the chapter ‘Declare Your Independence’ focused on submission in relationships, such as the traditional marriage role for women, and on ways to change those dynamics. But it bothers show more me that it did not take into account the risk of domestic violence. That and a few other instances made the book feel a little glib and superficial, and, let’s face it, dated. On the plus side, it had some good approaches for procrastinators like me and a sage reminder that anger gets in the way, it is good for nothing. show less

The audiobook is only an hour and a half, because it's abridged, but it's packed full of helpful information. Here are my favorite points:

We have control of our feelings. We have the choice of how we process other people's opinion. Esteem lies within you, not in other people. That's why it's called self-esteem.

"As you think, so shall you be."

"You are what you think about all day long."

If you put a label on yourself such as "I am..." and your label becomes your reality, then you're acting on that and processing that as who you are. It's a neurosis trap. It's self-defeating. These "I am" statements are a choice. You can choose the kind of personality you're going to have. It's not something you're stuck with. If you say "I'm show more disorganized," it's because you choose to be. You can be any way that you want to be.

You can do anything!

Don't let an old person move into your body.

Guilt is the immobilization of living in the past. It's very powerful and gets people to conform. Ask yourself, "Instead of feeling guilty now, what could I be doing? What am I avoiding?" Teach people that guilt no longer applies.

Worry immobilizes you in the present about the future. Again, what could you be doing now if you didn't worry?

Ask yourself, "Does it immobilize me in the present?" If so, then get rid of it.

When the student is ready, the teacher appears. For example, you may have a book on your shelf at home for decades before you actually read it and realize how much valuable information it contained.

Security is an illusion.

You have to make the decision to change. It's a fear of moving into new territory that keeps you where you are and the fear is only in your mind. A new, healthy, fulfilling, exciting and exquisite life is only a thought away.

Don't keep looking for fairness, justice or for everything being exactly equal. Stop comparing yourself to others and keep your nose out of other people's garden.

If you want to get ahead in life and all that you know you can make of it, then you have to say to yourself, "Why am I choosing not to do that?"

What you think about expands. If you argue for limitations in your life, that's what you'll get. If you argue for happiness, that's what you'll get.

Anything you can visualize you can act upon.

You won't be punished for your anger, you'll be punished by your anger. When you're angry, you're carrying around the seeds of your destruction and the destruction of others. It's not the act that makes you angry. It's how you process the act that does.

I highly recommend this book to anyone looking to read something inspiring that helps you to change your mindset. show less

My dad told me to read this book. He hates self-help books so I was of course intrigued. Even though I'm only halfway through I cannot stress enough how powerful this book is. Ironically, one of my favorite quotes of all time came from this book regarding a syllabus in college about participating in class "The worst thing that could happen to you if you participate is you could die"

I rread this book because it was brought up in the Jodi Areias trial as being the book Dr. Samuels (the shrink) had given to Jodi, and also because Dr. Dwyer was a speaker she and Travis had seen and emailed about. I found it very dated (the version I read was from 1977) and was really advocating for women to not be afraid to be assertive and for all to be truthful about their interest, feelings, and emotions - and to be positive.

I've read probably about a dozen similar "self-help" books, and none made more rational yet simple and human sense to me than this. It will make you ask, "how have I been living like this my whole life? "

I read this book within a month of its initial publication. I read it almost straight through and found it, at the time, quite motivating. Like many self-help books, it has little original to say; its power lies in the compelling presentation. I confess, I have not revisited the book since then (1976) so I freely admit I could be misremembering and I may not react to it in the same way today. I do however still recall several specifics from the book and find them useful in everyday life.

I read this inspirational and influential book in my twenties, and gave copies to some of my friends. Your Erroneous Zones provided insights to help free me from self-destructive behavior patterns, and helped me to create the life I wanted for myself.