Late-night movie host Joe Bob Briggs used to remind me that the drive-in will never die. The same can be said for Star Trek spin-offs and associated merch. So, almost a decade after the last episode of Deep Space Nine, we get this 96-page collection of quotes from the series. As Quark would tell you, “57. Good customers are as rare as latinum. Treasure them.” And as writer-producer Steven Behr knows, there are no better customers than Trekkies. Even if you are one, you might want to forego this collection for Ron Wrobel III’s The Complete Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (2016).
Quark deserves whatever afterlife he can acquire. ( )

In Star Trek: Deep Space Nine— The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition, series producer Ira Steven Behr writes as if he were transcribing the rules based on a conversation with Quark. This technique foreshadows that of Marc Okrand’s Klingon for the Galactic Travler, both of which imagine the reader as if they were a character in the fictional world of Star Trek and reading a guide book that could hypothetically exist in that future world.

Writing in the voice of Quark, Behr states, “The book you hold in your hands represents the sum total of Ferengi business wisdom. All right, maybe not the sum total. I suppose if you want to be technical what you’re holding in your hands represents approximately one-quarter of the sum total of Ferengi business wisdom” (pg. v). The Rules, first introduced in the first season episode of Deep Space Nine, “The Nagus,” are 285 rules that govern every Ferengi business transaction and, by extension, their entire society. This book, appearing in 1995 between the third and fourth seasons of the show (and after the first season of Star Trek: Voyager), only contains 70 rules as the remainder had not yet appeared on the show. The subsequent series, including Star Trek: Enterprise, introduced new rules. In order to accommodate this possibility, Behr included pages for readers to write down newly-revealed rules (with the Ferengi admonition, “Don’t think this means you won’t have to buy a revised and expanded edition of this book someday” [pg. 83]).

Slim as it is, this volume will entertain fans of the three 1990s-era Star Trek series. Though “Quark” jokes at the beginning to give it as a gift for “friends… and your family” (pg. vii), it actually would make a nice gift. ( )

My Dad sent me this book and said it was my Bible. It's funny because it's true. ( )

An amusing little book that only took a few minutes to read.

Keep your lies consistent. ( )

The essential guide to understanding capitalists on any planet. ( )