You Have to Fucking Eat

Adam Mansbach has children....because no person on the planet has this amount of sage, relate-able commiseration as an adult that has tried to feed their cherubic offspring.

The direct contrast of adult language to child-like illustrations adds to the hilarity of the proverbial Great Food Battle. I personally, have never had a huge issue with picky eaters but I've certainly wondered, after opening a full lunch pail after school "How the hell are you growing?" and "How are you not passed out on the street?"

Fortunately, I can attest that adults will take a sigh of relief when their charges hit the teen years albeit, facing a different set of dietary hurdles and problems.

Like when your teens have descended on the kitchen pantry like show more locusts and only leave behind one small bag of dried split peas and the 5 year old can of powdered wasabi.

(That stuff is nuclear lasting)

You will find yourself convincing your child in a voice that would make your mother proud, "BBQ Sauce and fridge condiments are not a food group no matter how much you are 'STARRRRVING'".

Perhaps the toddler years are designed to offset the grocery bills in the teen years. I'll give Adam Mansbach a few more years for yet another snort-out-loud, brilliant sequel, "Stay Out of the F**king Pantry".

Thanks to Akashic Books and Library Thing Early Reviewers for this book in lieu of an honest review. show less

DISCLAIMER: This is a review of an audiobook.

Adam Mansbach’s poem “You Have to Fucking Eat” is a cathartic ode to so many parents who are so damn exhausted trying to make their little ones eat normal meals at normal times. I absolutely loved this grown-up poem because it is hilariously accurate and, even in its explicit version, it somehow still manages to sound cute. And the best part yet: it’s brilliantly narrated by Bryan Cranston, better known to many as Heisenberg from “Breaking Bad.” Honestly, I like this poem even better than Mansbach’s preceding international bestseller “Go the Fuck to Sleep” and I prefer Cranston’s narration over Samuel L. Jackson’s (Jackson was the voice for the first book).

VERDICT: 5 out show more of 5 show less

This is a rollicking good read. FOR PARENTS ONLY. In the same vein as "Go the Fuck to Sleep" this is a great bit of angst-reliving drama for every parent with a child who refuses to eat. Okay, between the rabbit grumpily chewing a carrot on one of the first few pages, to the leopard looking terribly put out as the baby in the picnic table drops food on his head. ... these illustrations really make this book come alive. And come on, there is a restaurant of wild animals eating very nicely! Hilarity! And don't get me started on the text. Who ever came up with stuff like, "How was school, hon? Whoa, your lunch box is full. / How are you not passed out in the street? / How is it you're smart? How the hell are you growing / When you show more basically don't fucking eat?" Yep, I think it's a keeper.

Oh, and I kept hearing Gilbert Gottfried read this. That's my celebrity audiobook narrator wish. show less

I feel that if I had children, this book would be my calling card. It contains everything that parents don't want to say out loud. "You Have to Fucking Eat" is the sequel to the wildly popular "Go the Fuck to Sleep" and follows in the same vein. It's wildly inappropriate, hilarious, and oh so true. Here is a short little excerpt:

"Your cute little tummy is rumbling
And pancakes are your favorite treat.
I'm kind of surprised that you suddenly hate them.
That's bullshit. Stop lying and eat."

Seriously, how can you not love this. It's the best picture book for adults (parents specifically) on the market and is a must buy for Christmas.

I actually squealed with glee when I saw I had gotten an ER copy of this. Go The F**k to Sleep is one of my favorites, and I've definitely gifted it to various friends of mine who have become new parents. And now I get to read the new one early! I didn't even take off my coat before sitting down and reading it out loud to my (not amused for he was already asleep and snoring) little dog. It was hilarious, and insightful, and delightful, and I will be reading it again soon.

I put in for this book mainly for the title. When my mother was little this was what my grandmother would say to her over and over all day long (minus the F#3!!) so the title called to me and I knew I had to have it. Hilarious!!! I plan now to pass it on to my mother as a gift which was my original intention if I were to receive it. So glad I did receive it. Not only was it a knee slapping whoot for me but, I can only imagine the pants pissing laughter she will get out of it as I'm quite certain this will bring back many memories for her. As many have said before me not something to read to your kids as a bedtime story this is a just for us adults book. Personally I think someone who doesn't have children would still get a kick out of show more reading this and I'm just as certain not a parent on the planet could read this and not nod with a smile of understanding. It is that accurate and sooooo damn funny. show less

I played the audio of this for my kids and we all laughed ourselves silly. It may be repetitive, but hey, what about raising children isn't?

Available free from Audible