Lily and Dunkin

If you’re looking for a book that ignites emotion in you, this one opens in pretty much the perfect spot to do so, it had me immediately caring about Lily, and thinking about real world transgender kids, especially the ones who don’t have the best friend, the mom, and the sister that Lily has in her corner (I loved her grandpop, too, even if technically he’s not in the story).

Due to caring for Lily, it did take more time for me to warm up to Dunkin as some of his choices inadvertently hurt Lily, though in all fairness to Dunkin, there probably are few of us who could claim we always had the courage to have someone else’s back or to resist the lure of popularity (and when you see how the school bullies are with Lily, it’s easy show more enough to believe that a kid might get it into his head to join the popular basketball team rather than risk becoming a target). I did end up really, really liking Dunkin the deeper I got into knowing him and all he’s going through.

This book can be pretty hard on the heart, the bullying, Lily’s journey with her dad, Dunkin’s spiraling mental health and the big truth he’s yet to face, even the fate of a tree weighs heavy, all of those things got me emotionally, but if you’re up to absorbing the more difficult blows this story delivers, I promise it does reward you with moments here and there where things feel much better. show less

This book is incredible. The author perfectly captured what it is like to grow up trans in Lily - or at the very least she perfectly captured what it was like for me growing up as trans. I had the same everyday fears. I had the same constant bully who picked on me for seemingly no reason. This book was so good but so painful because it reminded me so much of my own childhood. Granted, I wasn't nearly as brave as Lily and I remained closeted until I was 30 (and even now at 31 I'm still mostly closeted).

I also related to Dunkin, although my struggles with mental illness aren't quite as intense as his. His struggle was still incredibly compelling and heartbreaking. I would love to see a sequel one day showing how Lily and Dunkin are doing show more in high school. I don't often get attached to characters, but I care deeply for these two. I couldn't put this book down, having finished it in bed around 2am on a Saturday morning. I will also admit the ending made me sob for a solid ten minutes.

I think all kids should read this book, but it will definitely resonate with trans kids and kids dealing with loss, mental illness, and/or bullying. show less

I really enjoyed this book -- I found it very moving and intensely readable. I also have been actively looking for elementary-middle grade books with transgender characters that appeal to kids, and one of the things I really enjoyed about this book is that it is relatively fast paced, and there's always something going on -- I read some of the other reviews, and that seemed not to work for everyone, but it really worked for me. I've read several books for this audience on this topic and while they are interesting books, they are very very internally focused. The plot is secondary to the character's inner struggles -- which makes for a very specific appeal.

I also appreciate reading a book about a character with a serious mental illness, show more and the positive representation of psychiatric professionals throughout the book. I loved how Gephart managed to portray all the different tensions that are part of daily life -- family tension vs school tension, new friends and old friends and bullying and hormones and peer pressure... that seems like a very full picture of the whirl of middle school -- but while you could read a romantic element into it, that is clearly not the focus of the book. I think that's particularly sensitive and smart when it comes to two kids who are dealing with a ton of internal struggles, especially given how often American society conflates sex and gender.

I'm not sure how I feel about the fact that this is only tangentially an own voices book, and several reviewers mentioned how the extremity of Duncan's particular brand of illness might be more damaging than helpful, so that also causes me some reservations. I think it was compassionately written and difficult to put down. I hope we have many more books on these subjects that are own voices in the future, but I think this one is doing a stellar job filling the gap. show less

Lily was born Tim and is working hard to understand herself and get her family on board too. She wants hormone blockers, she wants to be brave enough to be herself in 8th grade. But it is hard, dealing with her less than accepting dad and the Neanderthal basketball players at school. New kid Norbert is dealing with his own problems in Florida. He's on medication that he has stopped taking. He is hiding a big secret, even from himself. Told in alternating voices, Lily and Dunkin try to muddle through a difficult year and realize that their connection just might help them both.

I found this a little clunky and problem novel-y in places. There aren't that many middle grade-appropriate books about trans kids yet, but they are all starting to sound the same. Each kid speaks about their gender in the same way ("I always knew I was really a girl/boy on the inside"), and they're all about white kids in generic suburbs with fairly generic interests. My genderqueer students don't necessarily speak about gender in that sort of binary -- gender, to much of "Generation Z" (ugh, really, demographers?), has quickly become a fluid spectrum. I'd like to see that more subtlely addressed in a book.

I found Dunkin's story much more compelling than Lily's. His struggles with mental illness felt more specific and touching, and I show more don't think I've ever read a book about a middle schooler with bipolar disorder. We definitely need more stories that explore that internal landscape. In the author's note, Gephart writes that Dunkin's story came from her personal experiences, whereas Lily's she had to research as an outsider. Not that authors always have to "write what they know," of course, but in this case I think the discrepancy shows.

Note: if you're booktalking this, I think p. 94 would make a fun read-aloud. show less

I noticed this book a long time ago and put it on my watch list. And I tried to get it, for months. And here we are. I've got it. And man, it was definitely worth the wait and lived up to my (high) expectations. This is one of my favorite middle-grades I've read. It deals with some very, very complex and hard issues that aren't talked about in middle grade--gender identity, mental illness, suicide, but I'd say it's appropriate for the upper bit of middle grade. The content is a bit more mature than other trans girl middle grades (Gracefully Grayson and George) and it straddles the line between MG and YA pretty nicely.

As for the characters - they were so good and endearing and so, so, real. I liked that while Lily's transition and show more Dunkin's bipolar disorder were definitely large parts of the plot and to an extent these issues were a defining part of them, it wasn't just about those subjects. They're fully fledged characters. Lily is trans, but she's not just trans. Dunkin is bipolar, but he's not just bipolar. It was really nice. Also: I was shipping Dare/Amy so hard through the book and it made me so happy that they were revealed to be a couple in the end.

I really couldn't stop reading once I started this book. There's a lot going on, but it's juggled quite well. Lily's subplot with the tree was really nice, and it really did break my heart when Bob was cut down, IN FRONT OF LILY AND US. We'd spent so much time building up to it and Lily stayed so long to try to save her tree but. They still CUT IT DOWN AND I CAN'T BELIEVE I FEEL THIS MUCH FOR A TREE. Anyway. I cried happy tears at the end. show less

Middle school is hard enough, even if you haven't moved from New Jersey to Florida in the wake of family tragedy and are struggling with bipolar disorder and are saddled with a name you hate (Dunkin), and even if you aren't a girl who struggles to be seen for her true self by her dad and the rest of the world (Lily). The title might make one think that Lily and Dunkin become friends right away, but after a couple of friendly late-summer encounters, they go separate ways at school: Dunkin, because of his height, gets absorbed onto the basketball team with the "Neanderthals," while Lily hangs out with her lifelong best friend Dare.

When a beloved tree is endangered, Lily takes a stand - and decides to brave the school dance, as well. And show more when Dunkin stops taking his meds and has a breakdown on the basketball court, he braves his own past in order to move on.

Lily's mom, older sister Sarah, and (eventually) doctor are wonderfully supportive, and Lily's dad comes around after a brutally honest conversation with the doctor. Back matter includes resources for trans youth and mental health.

See also: Gracefully Grayson by Ami Polonsky, Different Kinds of Fruit by Kyle Lukoff, Starfish by Lisa Fipps

Quotes

When it comes to Dad...the more I try to be who I really am, the more he pushes me away. (Lily, 21)

"When you're brave and honest, you make it easier for the next person." (Dare to Lily, 78)

"If you can't be comfortable with who you really are, then how to you expect anyone else to be?" (Dare to Lily, 79)

"Don't do what you think will make them happy. Do what will make you happy." (Dare to Lily, 137)

It's tough to lose something you love and know there's nothing you can do about it. (Dunkin, 283) show less