Mop Men: Inside the World of Crime Scene Cleaners

Alan Emmins follows Neal Smither, founder, president, and general Grand Pooh-Bah Woo-bah of Crime Scene Cleaners, which, as you might be able to noodle out from the name, cleans crime scenes, and also scenes of suicides and natural death. As you may imagine, these scenes get, um, messy. Very messy.

Not for the faint of heart (unless, of course, your heart goes pitty-pat at graphic descriptions of how maggots eat human flesh), this is nonetheless an engrossing (hm, maybe an unfortunate use of "engrossing" there, but anyway) look at an unlikely way to make a living.

It was fascinating learning about the work itself but the author wasn't a particularly good writer. He's a journalist but the majority of the book, when he wasn't actually writing about the various scenes he attended, read like a college freshman's essay.

Adult nonfiction. A few months ago I enjoyed Charlie Huston's The Mystic Arts of Erasing All Signs of Death, about a guy who falls into the messy business of crime scene cleanup, so I thought I'd read this journalist's account of his experiences and interviews with guys that really do the work. It was interesting, but not as engaging as Huston's fictionalized version, which turned out to be a pretty accurate portrayal of the business, apart from the ongoing violence between clean-up gangs that were added to the story.

Mop men is a wonderful bit of fluff.
It's just a reporter hanging out with a guy whose got a job. That guys job is to clean up the mess at the end of your life. Maggots, slime, bones, brains on the wall - they put it all in trash bags.

It's transparent that Emmins is just burning through as much of the grossness as he can, but it's such wicked fun that you don't mind. To read in public so people get a big squicky around you.

As you watch the news, have you ever wondered who cleans up the mess left behind at crime scenes? If so, this book is for you. Follow the author as he exclusively works with Neal Smither, founder and president of Crime Scene Cleaners, Incorporated. Besides the body parts, blood, and other associated hazardous materials found at a crime scene, there are the law enforcement officers, survivors, and gawking bystanders to deal with. Various jobs provide the shock value you would expect from this topic. There are even some insights to the people who died and the people who clean up after them. Instead of a fair and unbiased opinion, the author soon goes native and becomes part of the story. Parts are definitely not for the squeamish.

I enjoyed this book. Gross at times, but fascinating. Hanging out with crime scene cleaners also has the author reflecting on mortality and how we react to it.

I found it sophomoric; Emmins' attempts at philosophy were quite lame. He need a few more years behind him before he can wax poetic and metaphysical about "Death with a Capital D." If he would have stuck with the subject matter at hand, it would have been a much more enjoyable read. As it stands, half of the book is him whining about not being able to write since the population isn't dying quickly enough for his tastes.