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We Need to Talk: How to Have Conversations That Matter

by Celeste Headlee

MembersReviewsPopularityAverage ratingConversations
2049133,476 (4.02)None
WE NEED TO TALK. They are, perhaps, the most dreaded four words in the English language. But in her timely, insightful, and wonderfully practical audiobook, We Need to Talk, Celeste Headlee who earns a living by talking on the airwaves of National Public Radio makes the case that they are urgently needed. Today most of us communicate from behind electronic screens, and studies show that Americans feel less connected and more divided than ever before. The blame for some of this disconnect can be attributed to our political landscape, but the erosion of our conversational skills as a society lies with us as individuals. And the only way forward, says Headlee, is to start talking to each other. In We Need to Talk, she outlines the strategies that have made her a better conversationalist and offers simple tools that can improve anyone's communication. For example, BE THERE OR GO ELSEWHERE. Human beings are incapable of multitasking, and this is especially true of tasks that involve language. Think you can type up a few emails while on a business call, or hold a conversation with your child while texting your spouse? Think again. The belief that your intelligence protects you from erroneous assumptions can end up making you more vulnerable to them. We all have blind spots that affect the way we view others. Check your bias before you judge someone else. HIDE YOUR PHONE. Don't just put down your phone, put it away. New research suggests that the mere presence of a cell phone can negatively impact the quality of a conversation. Whether you're struggling to communicate with your kid's teacher at school, an employee at work, or the people you love the most. Headlee offers smart strategies that can help us all have conversations that matter.… (more)
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This is a great little book full of common sense advice about how to be a better conversationalist. It is not necessarily geared towards getting ahead in the corporate world, but it is helpful. Written by a "human nature expert" Headlee offers practical tips for listening and speaking with meaning. I appreciated the reminders about repeating oneself and using negative language. Even though she did not provide much information I haven't heard before I would like to check out her TED talk. Out of all of the self help books on communication I've read, We Need to Talk was the most enjoyable. ( )
  SeriousGrace | May 17, 2023 |
This book feels very ironic. I understand the intent behind it was really good, but it meanders around the subject of conversation (while saying not to do that). Here are the main things I got from it:

- Set Expectations
- Try to be supportive and empathetic

This is communicated much better in other books about conversation.

I highly recommend "Crucial Conversations" by Patterson et al. as a more practical book about actually having important conversations.
( )
  nimishg | Apr 12, 2023 |
This entire book changed my way of what i thought it meant to be with people and talk to them. I am working on through my struggles. if i didn't read a book like this I may never have seen mine and others faults. ( )
  Lavender3 | Dec 21, 2022 |
That was fabulous! I was thoroughly engrossed from beginning to end. There's a lot here that makes so much sense, but I'd never *really* thought of it before. I feel like I identified so many of my own flaws in how I converse with others...I'm such a jerk! This has definitely rewired the way I experience and value interactions with other people and will hopefully influence me to become a better friend, family member, and colleague to all those I encounter. Bonus: the audio is superb! Short and sweet--I was hooked and tore through it swiftly. Thanks, Gina, for bringing this to my attention!! ( )
  LibroLindsay | Jun 18, 2021 |
My rating would be higher but for the "Mark Twain", rambling, story-telling writing style. Not written in classroom, textbook style, but at a very personal level by the author. Most of the good advice is near the end of the book. ( )
  boyerjh | Jan 13, 2021 |
Showing 1-5 of 8 (next | show all)
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WE NEED TO TALK. They are, perhaps, the most dreaded four words in the English language. But in her timely, insightful, and wonderfully practical audiobook, We Need to Talk, Celeste Headlee who earns a living by talking on the airwaves of National Public Radio makes the case that they are urgently needed. Today most of us communicate from behind electronic screens, and studies show that Americans feel less connected and more divided than ever before. The blame for some of this disconnect can be attributed to our political landscape, but the erosion of our conversational skills as a society lies with us as individuals. And the only way forward, says Headlee, is to start talking to each other. In We Need to Talk, she outlines the strategies that have made her a better conversationalist and offers simple tools that can improve anyone's communication. For example, BE THERE OR GO ELSEWHERE. Human beings are incapable of multitasking, and this is especially true of tasks that involve language. Think you can type up a few emails while on a business call, or hold a conversation with your child while texting your spouse? Think again. The belief that your intelligence protects you from erroneous assumptions can end up making you more vulnerable to them. We all have blind spots that affect the way we view others. Check your bias before you judge someone else. HIDE YOUR PHONE. Don't just put down your phone, put it away. New research suggests that the mere presence of a cell phone can negatively impact the quality of a conversation. Whether you're struggling to communicate with your kid's teacher at school, an employee at work, or the people you love the most. Headlee offers smart strategies that can help us all have conversations that matter.

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