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Delightfully smart and heartbreakingly poignant, Allison Pearson’s smash debut novel has exploded onto bestseller lists as “The national anthem for working mothers.” Hedge-fund manager, wife, and mother of two, Kate Reddy manages to juggle nine currencies in five time zones and keep in step with the Teletubbies. But when she finds herself awake at 1:37 a.m. in a panic over the need to produce a homemade pie for her daughter’s school, she has to admit her life has become show more unrecognizable. With panache, wisdom, and uproarious wit, I Don’t Know How She Does It brilliantly dramatizes the dilemma of every working mom. show lessTags
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So. Much. Anxiety. If I had kids, I would totally be Kate. Lost in between two worlds and failing miserable at balancing them both. I just cannot seem to grasp the high demand job motherhood balance, and it gives me heart palpitations just thinking about it. EVERYTHING in this book just confirmed that motherhood is not for me! Don't get me wrong - I admire the people who can do it! I just have ZERO faith in myself that I'd ever be able to balance the two without buckets of Xanax and a therapist on speed dial.
Kate Reddy is having a hard time. She's got a high power job and some littles at home and she is struggling making it all work. She refuses to become a Pinterest mom, and doesn't really have the time anyway, plus, her job doesn't show more take her as serious as they should - because she's a ROCKSTAR, but she's a women, so... well, 'nuff said. Trying to find the time to be a good mom to her kids, wife to Richard, and give her job the attention it deserves - is not working out, and Kate needs to figure out her priorities - and fast!
I love Allison Pearson's writing - its quick, descriptive, and so witty. I get a bit lost in some of the British slang, but it's still fun pretending I understand it. Kate trying to figure out how to be a mother in a man's world, is equally sad and hilarious and I had fun reading this. Next up is How Hard Can it Be! I'm excited to read the follow up to this book and see where Kate has landed at 50! show less
Kate Reddy is having a hard time. She's got a high power job and some littles at home and she is struggling making it all work. She refuses to become a Pinterest mom, and doesn't really have the time anyway, plus, her job doesn't show more take her as serious as they should - because she's a ROCKSTAR, but she's a women, so... well, 'nuff said. Trying to find the time to be a good mom to her kids, wife to Richard, and give her job the attention it deserves - is not working out, and Kate needs to figure out her priorities - and fast!
I love Allison Pearson's writing - its quick, descriptive, and so witty. I get a bit lost in some of the British slang, but it's still fun pretending I understand it. Kate trying to figure out how to be a mother in a man's world, is equally sad and hilarious and I had fun reading this. Next up is How Hard Can it Be! I'm excited to read the follow up to this book and see where Kate has landed at 50! show less
I started out annoyed at this woman who was pressurizing her life on purpose and then whining about it. I almost tossed the book half-way through. But then the character was more fully revealed, and her self-realizations were always spot-on. So I could sympathize and enjoy the very witty writing of the rest of the book.
Having listened to the audio, I was on the road scrambling for paper and pen to note the now frequent quotes worth keeping. I'll just have to borrow the print book and enjoy it again.
Having listened to the audio, I was on the road scrambling for paper and pen to note the now frequent quotes worth keeping. I'll just have to borrow the print book and enjoy it again.
I wouldn't have picked this up except that I received a copy of the sequel as an early reviewer book. I actually really hated this book. First, as a child who grew up with two full time working parents, I've never felt that I was in any way neglected or made to feel secondary to their careers. In real life, people do find a balance. Second, why is it never even considered that since Kate is the primary earner in the family, perhaps her husband would cut back or leave his job and be the primary caregiver to the kids? Instead, we have this story where a woman is more or less guilted into giving up a career she excels in to be a full time mother (six or so years in? really?) though we've really had no indication that Kate is the type to show more thrive in a full time caregiver situation. The flirtation with an affair that Kate has is also hard to understand on any level, other than pure selfishness. She's also pretty shallow in how deeply she cares about the opinions of others, and specifically their opinions of her. It comes across as pretty immature. This is all presented as comedy, but it really isn't funny. I feel like the balance between work and family is hard enough for real people without propagating this sort of nonsense. show less
I had avoided this for years, out of misplaced snobbery, the way I generally avoid any book stocked by Tesco. Now I’m really glad to have read it – it’s a brilliantly observed high-octane dash through the life of a high-flying city trader and mum-of-two. So much wit and wisdom packed into every single paragraph, it takes ages to read because you don’t want to miss any of it. Sexism in the workplace, interfering in-laws, whining kids, she nails them all. Absolutely excellent read.
I Don’t Know How She Does It. How many times do women (and perhaps men too) say this about the woman who looks like she has it all? She’s the woman with the high flying career, gorgeous kids, loving husband and covetable shoes who just also happens to be able to churn out perfect character-iced cupcakes at the drop of a hat. I’m sure we all know someone like this. Sometimes we might even try to be that woman.
But do we ever stop and think just how damn hard it is to have your cake and eat it after slaving away all hours of the day? This is the story behind the scenes of that life many hanker for.
Meet Kate. She has an awesome career that allows her to fly around the world. She has a loving husband, children and a nanny. She has the show more big car, the big house and the big wardrobe. But behind these scenes, Kate is falling apart and so is her dream life. From staying up all hours to cook for a school cake sale (you can’t send shop bought stuff – imagine the reaction of the other mothers) to proving she’s just as good at the boys at her job, Kate is tired. Worn out. Starting to make a few bad decisions.
This is a book that doesn’t have a lot of plot climaxes but reveals the everyday struggle that it is for a woman to ‘have it all’. We can all relate to some – or all - of Kate’s calamities. Don’t write off this book as chick or mummy lit, it’s very humourous and incredibly true to life. It’s light, but carries a poignant message that we tell ourselves – we can’t have it all (but damn, we sure do try).
My only gripe with this book is that I felt the ending was a bit of a cop out, in that some characters did just what they were stereotypically expected to do. Others pleasingly fought against that – but we can’t have it all.
This book has recently been made into a film (I kept driving past the bus stop with the poster) starring the icon of a generation of females, Sarah Jessica Parker. I’d be interested to see how it translated, as a lot of Kate’s guilt was internal, not much was expressed to others. (She just didn’t have time for girlfriend chatter, okay?) The book is also set in London before the invention of the Blackberry and tablet that Kate’s carrying. Class and class expectations (e.g. private school, after school enrichment) are also firmly entrenched in this book – Kate’s upper middle class and again, she is expected to be just like the others in ticking off assets.
I can’t say I really related to Kate’s struggle with her children – first she misses being with them, then when she is with them she’s grumpy and frazzled – because I don’t have any. This book can be kind of exhausting in places, because it’s just one problem after another. Don’t tie yourself up in it and you’ll enjoy it.
http://samstillreading.wordpress.com show less
But do we ever stop and think just how damn hard it is to have your cake and eat it after slaving away all hours of the day? This is the story behind the scenes of that life many hanker for.
Meet Kate. She has an awesome career that allows her to fly around the world. She has a loving husband, children and a nanny. She has the show more big car, the big house and the big wardrobe. But behind these scenes, Kate is falling apart and so is her dream life. From staying up all hours to cook for a school cake sale (you can’t send shop bought stuff – imagine the reaction of the other mothers) to proving she’s just as good at the boys at her job, Kate is tired. Worn out. Starting to make a few bad decisions.
This is a book that doesn’t have a lot of plot climaxes but reveals the everyday struggle that it is for a woman to ‘have it all’. We can all relate to some – or all - of Kate’s calamities. Don’t write off this book as chick or mummy lit, it’s very humourous and incredibly true to life. It’s light, but carries a poignant message that we tell ourselves – we can’t have it all (but damn, we sure do try).
My only gripe with this book is that I felt the ending was a bit of a cop out, in that some characters did just what they were stereotypically expected to do. Others pleasingly fought against that – but we can’t have it all.
This book has recently been made into a film (I kept driving past the bus stop with the poster) starring the icon of a generation of females, Sarah Jessica Parker. I’d be interested to see how it translated, as a lot of Kate’s guilt was internal, not much was expressed to others. (She just didn’t have time for girlfriend chatter, okay?) The book is also set in London before the invention of the Blackberry and tablet that Kate’s carrying. Class and class expectations (e.g. private school, after school enrichment) are also firmly entrenched in this book – Kate’s upper middle class and again, she is expected to be just like the others in ticking off assets.
I can’t say I really related to Kate’s struggle with her children – first she misses being with them, then when she is with them she’s grumpy and frazzled – because I don’t have any. This book can be kind of exhausting in places, because it’s just one problem after another. Don’t tie yourself up in it and you’ll enjoy it.
http://samstillreading.wordpress.com show less
One again I find myself in the accidental place of having cheated by watching the film before reading the book... Both have a very similar tone though, so I didn't find myself disparaging at the differences between the mediums. Until the end of the novel, that is... In the film, Kate is able to find a good work-life balance (due to her outstanding work efforts earning her some slack), but at the end of the novel she quits her job to raise her children. In the epilogue we get the idea that she's getting back in the game, but I still find her traditional motherly sacrifice annoying. I'll take my moral lessons from the movie, than, since I refuse to sacrifice my professional goals!
Someone told me they didn't like this book because it was too real. That is exactly what I liked about this book. It's very british and a few phrases through me, but completely affirming for us former career girls.
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ThingScore 38
Being a working mom, I immediately thought that this book would appeal to me... but it seemed to miss the mark at just about every turn.
Kate, the main bread-winner in her family, works an obscene amount of hours, leaving the house before her kids have eaten breakfast and not getting home until after they are asleep. All day she agonizes over her work-life balance yet never seems to do anything show more to adjust it. Constantly pulled away from the home on business trips to other countries, Kate seems to have chosen her work-life over her home-life, to the point that she fantasizes about having an affair with an American client.
Have you ever heard the saying "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? That is how I felt about Kate... you can't expect to have kids and NOT give up some part of your life. Having obviously chosen her career over her family, it drove me crazy when Kate suddenly has an epiphany, when her kids are 6-years-old and 2-years-old, that she is throwing away her life with her children. It takes her husband leaving, her nanny falling ill and her assistant becoming the office 'joke' before she puts her life priorities straight. Immediately my thought was, "Really?!?! You wasted SIX YEARS of your relationship with your daughter and NOW you decide to be a 'Mom'"... Ugg.
Overall, this book was too unrealistic for me. It could be that my feelings on the whole work vs. family thing are a little too strong, but, as a mother, you will ALWAYS put your children first... ALWAYS!! show less
Kate, the main bread-winner in her family, works an obscene amount of hours, leaving the house before her kids have eaten breakfast and not getting home until after they are asleep. All day she agonizes over her work-life balance yet never seems to do anything show more to adjust it. Constantly pulled away from the home on business trips to other countries, Kate seems to have chosen her work-life over her home-life, to the point that she fantasizes about having an affair with an American client.
Have you ever heard the saying "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? That is how I felt about Kate... you can't expect to have kids and NOT give up some part of your life. Having obviously chosen her career over her family, it drove me crazy when Kate suddenly has an epiphany, when her kids are 6-years-old and 2-years-old, that she is throwing away her life with her children. It takes her husband leaving, her nanny falling ill and her assistant becoming the office 'joke' before she puts her life priorities straight. Immediately my thought was, "Really?!?! You wasted SIX YEARS of your relationship with your daughter and NOW you decide to be a 'Mom'"... Ugg.
Overall, this book was too unrealistic for me. It could be that my feelings on the whole work vs. family thing are a little too strong, but, as a mother, you will ALWAYS put your children first... ALWAYS!! show less
added by LindsayGentles
Let us get one thing straight from the outset: despite its rapturous reviews, the book is not artful or literary or—to borrow Time's thunderously wrong adjective—"sparkling." It's full of stock characters, including a wise minicab driver who is forever making insightful remarks about the meaning of life. A pigeon family constructs a nest outside Kate's office window and teaches her show more valuable lessons about motherhood. "Phones may have become cordless," we are lectured, "but mothers never will." When Kate and her husband reconnect in a London coffee shop after a brief, miserable separation, "we both laugh, and for a moment Starbucks is filled with the sound of Us." (Funny, I thought that grating, deafening sound was the coffee grinder.) Still, though, the book has struck a chord—on an episode of Oprah devoted to the book Oprah Winfrey introduced it as "the new bible for working mothers." In particular, droves of readers report that the nature of Kate's marriage mirrors theirs exactly. show less
added by Shortride
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the mother of all novels (parenting theme)
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Has the adaptation
Common Knowledge
- Canonical title
- I Don't Know How She Does It
- Original title
- I Don't Know How She Does It
- Original publication date
- 2002
- People/Characters
- Kate Reddy
- Important places
- London, England, UK
- Related movies
- I Don't Know How She Does It (2011 | IMDb)
- Dedication
- For Evie with love
- First words
- Monday, 1:37 A.M. How did I get here?
- Quotations
- I take my time brushing my teeth. A count of twenty for each molar. If I stay in the bathroom long enough, Richard will fall asleep and will not try to have sex with me.
Men today can only be better fathers than their fathers. Simply by knowing how to change a nappy or figuring out which hole you stick the bottle in--these things mark them out as more capable parents than any previous generat... (show all)ion. But women can only be worse mothers than our mothers, and this rankles because we are working so very very hard and we are doomed to fail. - Last words
- (Click to show. Warning: May contain spoilers.)What else?
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