The Body Is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love

I had a reading challenge prompt for Black Joy, and I walked into my local bookstore saying HELP, I NEED A REC, NONE OF THE BLACK BOOKS ON MY TBR CURRENTLY HAVE ENOUGH JOY, and they pointed me at this book and I purchased it immediately.

I ended up loving it (of course!) Especially the challenge questions at the end — which were good opportunities to examine what bullshit I have mostly unlearned and where the Big Work is still to be done. Taylor's writing embraces joy while also making clear there is real challenge in the work. I will be ruminating on this one for a while.

It will come as a surprise to most who know me since I love to talk/read about self-improvement...but I do not usually make it through "self-help" type books...books that require introspection and then offer guidance. I often put them down thinking, "Eh...this could have been a TED talk or a long article on Medium, it didn't need to be an entire book."

THIS ONE NEEDED TO BE A BOOK. I underlined, starred, hearted, and tabbed my copy of this book like it's my handbook for life...and it kinda is now. I really really loved this book and felt like it helped me put into words a lot of my struggles on the path to radical self love and helped me define some of the roadblocks and find paths around them. If you struggle with self-hatred or body show more shame - this book might just rock your world like it did mine. show less

Best for:
Those open to reconsidering the ways they view themselves and others.

In a nutshell:
Author Sonya Renee Taylor offers up the idea that society’s ills are based on hatred of bodies that deviate from ‘the norm,’ and that by moving beyond self-acceptance to self-love, we will be able to create “a world that works for every body.”

Worth quoting:
“Our societies have defined what is considered a ‘normal’ body and have assigned greater value, resources, and opportunities to the bodies most closely aligned with those ideas of ‘normal.’”

Why I chose it:
A friend directed by to Ms Taylor’s Instagram account, where she often posts videos. I saw she had a book and wanted to check it out.

Review:
Ms Taylor’s premise is show more that we need to stop judging bodies, not simply as a way to accept and love ourselves, but to literally change the world. Throughout this relatively short book stuffed full of history, sociology, philosophy, and concrete action, Ms Taylor supports her idea that the setting of a default ‘normal’ body and the resulting judgment of bodies that deviate from that norm is what causes harm. She provides opportunities for reflection on how the reader has developed their relationship with their own body, as well as how that in turn influences how they interact with others in the world.

She starts by laying out the concept of radical self-love, then moves onto the history of body shame that propels so many of us to apologize for our bodies - size, gender, ability, neurodiversity, race, etc. - followed by ways to build radical self-love when the world around us pushes just the opposite. Ms Taylor then takes us through the idea of implicit bias and need to remain aware of the ways we continue to judge ourselves and other bodies, and finishes it up with a very practical toolkit.

I love this book. Ms Taylor’s way of writing is accessible and fun. I want all of us to read it and to really think about what it would mean if we were to implement the concepts within it.

Keep it / Pass to a Friend / Donate it / Toss it:
Keep it show less

Inhaling this over a couple of days' walking, I know I'll be back to take it in more slowly with a second listen. So thankful that Taylor's work was introduced to me. (Hat tip, Brené Brown.)

Sparkling metaphors for heretofore unheard of ideas. Brilliant! Powerful to hear the author read her own words.

Recommending this tittle to everyone, especially those who identify as female.

I dithered over whether to give this one or two stars. In general, I applaud the author for trying to spread this message to people, but I was disappointed with the book and writing itself. Perhaps it has a place and purpose (evidently; the books itself has lots of 5-star ratings) - but I think anyone looking for a deeper analysis of radical body politics shouldn't waste their time.

As other reviewers have noted the book very much read like a blog post which had been somewhat painfully extended until it was book-length via padding it out - mostly via repeating itself and similar anecdotes. This is a shame, as the author could have built on the points using some of the many interesting studies surrounding this area, or - my main gripe - show more some analysis or actual arguments for the points made so forcefully throughout the book. The lack of discussion or critical thinking around any of the points I think sells the book, and the topic, short. There are an abundance of angles that could have been explored further; historical, geographical, intersectionality - the list goes on.

Repeating a statement over and over and demonising anyone who disagrees does not convert anyone who might have an opposing view, which is surely partly the activist author's intention, nor does it form an intersting book for anyone already versed in the topics to further their own knowledge. This is not me saying I disagree with any of the points that she made, just that it would have been nice to explore why, or how rather than just blindly assert points that people must believe, lest they be a hater.

I think some analysis and nuance in discussions would have greatly improved the book; as it was - it was a noble topic, but it did feel more like an outraged tumblr post than a serious book about body politics. show less

This book is an anthem with work for the reader. It has good questions, and I appreciated that she talks about the body as a whole as far as inclusiveness rather than just fat representation. I will be returning to it.

I normally don’t read self help type books, but I saw this on Libby and was immediately drawn in by the title and gorgeous cover. This book is full of affirmations, advice, and breaks down body shaming. It’s uplifting, enlightening, practical, and entertaining. I listened to this book on audio and the author’s enthusiasm absolutely shined through as she read. The only thing I’d change is that the author says the phrase “radical self love” about a billion times, I wish she shortened it or used different phrasing sometimes.