Queer Sex: A Trans and Non-Binary Guide to Intimacy, Pleasure and Relationships

Fwiw - I am a non-binary queer person (gray asexual / pansexual / polyamorous). I feel like I am part of the direct target audience of this book, and I loved it.

This is not a guide in the sense of it being an inaccessible scientific guide that would remember to give dry tips to some of the community and forget that say, asexuals existed, or polyamorous people existed, or the unconventional existed.

This is a guide in the sense of getting 'the talk' that every queer teen (or adult) should be able to get from a mix of people from different walks of life, with different generational experiences, different perceptions. From confident to locked in. From traumatised to healthy. Across the transgender spectrum, gently prodding at what it means show more to be transgender generationally, the different issues affecting different people, and how those issues may impact - or grow - our sexuality - or lack thereof.

I have to say, as someone who is gray asexual, seeing Margo (I believe) self-refer as being possibly gray asexual was really meaningful to me. That's a term that's been around for years now, and while I felt the author wasn't directly familiar, having her place the term in (she transcribes the interviews faithfully, which I enjoyed) gave me an extra buzz of resonance.

There were moments where I thought 'oh we don't use those terms anymore' or moments where I cringed a little, in the sense that, there are things about my lived experience I take for granted and forget that they are entirely alien to others, even within the LGBTQIA community. I actually enjoyed those moments, they felt very real, and I think they highlight that there are some significant generational differences now between how people express themselves, and that it's important to not throw out the invaluable experiences of those older than us, just because they are not say, hip to Tumblr linguistics (and why should they be).

For the most part though, what this book gave me was firstly the sense that I'm not alone. Not alone in not knowing how to identify personally with parts of my body, or being unsure of what questions to ask, or holding onto romanticised notions that didn't fit one day. That I'm not alone in finding my personal experience of gender confusing, and embracing that anyway, and enjoying it for what it is. I wish I had heard so many of these stories earlier, the happy blissful ones, the confused ones, the challenging ones.

I truly feel this book is a guide, in the sense that a loving family member or friend sitting you down to explain how life might *actually* work out for you if you're trans/NB regarding sex, is guiding you. Except not only do you get the benefit of the poetic insight of the author, but you also get the insight of many other (often very significant) people in the trans/NB community. Some in relationships, some not.

Read it in a single night, and will be something I recommend to others. show less

Ich fand es richtig toll! Ich finde es hat tolle neue Gedanken zu Körpern, Gender und Sexualität gegeben und war sehr persönlich geschrieben.