The Girl He Used to Know

SPOILER ALERT: I am going to review one part of the book in detail because it was done SO well and intrigued me SO very much! This story is about a girl named Annika and her love interest Jonathan. This story will cover young love, a tragedy, lost love, found love and living life in a different way. Annika has autism. As a former teacher and a mother who has a grown son with autism, this book really hit home. My experiences with autism have been from the side for fighting for rights for both my students and my son. This book really lets you see how Annika's autism lets her see the world. The minute the book mentioned that Annika loved to take off her shoes and put her heels on the cold floor, I KNEW she was autistic or had sensory show more issues. It was a feeling. The book slowly introduces you to her. It will be interesting to hear how others with no background in autism or sensory issues will finally "discover" the truth. I would hope not too long. The world has been more informed about how valuable autistic people are. They are often more highly intelligent than the average person. They can often solve problems that no one can not, because they experience the world differently through their senses. The problem is, people forget that just because they are different, they still fall in love and still can function quite well along with unaffected adults. No one knows the pain they suffer or the homework they do on their own to be socially accepted. The best example of this that most people have seen is the TV show "The Good Doctor". Shaun Murphy is autistic but is working as a skilled surgeon who often needs accommodations because he just does not realize or can't help that sometimes he comes across as socially inept or uncaring. I loved this book's storyline. Everything flowed. It was very easy to get attached to the characters. I also knew immediately the one other character in this book who was autistic. I also thought the climax of the book was amazing and informative. An important TRUE historical event is covered in such a way that I felt like I was there and was crying for those who were affected. I liked the ending, but I wish that there had been more details of life ever after in the end. I guess a Part 2 could be written, but it feels final the way the author wrote the ending. If you love good love stories, or you love stories about intellect or love reading about lives similar to others love watching soaps to observe the lives of others, you will LOVE this book! If you don't understand the challenges of being autistic, you will be better informed. I am very happy to read a love story with substance. When I first saw the title, without reading the blurb, I made a guess that the book was about a man's daughter that he lost in some kind of custody battle and reunited years later, not knowing how to be a part of her life. So my guess was wrong, but I truly enjoyed reading this story for the feeling it gave me and the experience of seeing life through a different autistic person, as no two people, autistic or not, are alike. If the movie version is made, I would definitely go see it. #READTHEGIRL book club #shespeaks show less

This book had a lot of hype in the months prior to publications. The author, a well-known romance writer, and the book cover, simplistic yet beautiful, made it seem like the perfect weekend read. And yet I struggled. I loved that Annika was on the Autism spectrum. I'm not the biggest fan of second chance romances, but when done right they can punch you in the gut and give you the warm fuzzies simultaneously. But then there was all this drama, much of which seemed unnecessary and purely plot devices (looking at you, 9/11 subplot). I wasn't all that sure why they broke up in the first place either. I either completely missed it or it just wasn't that clear. Unfortunately, I felt The Girl He Used to Know missed the mark a little bit, but show more with so many others loving it, I would suggest others give it a try and see for themselves. show less

What an incredible book - I was brought to tears a few times. Mainly for the terrible disability of not being able to interpret or express feelings in the conventional way. It was a nightmare for Annika, resulting in perpetual anxiety, that she didn't know what people were thinking. But nor could she convey to people what she was thinking!! which in a way seemed worse.

How impossible it was for Jonathan. He had to work so hard on UNDERSTANDING Anicka, and help her at the same time. I identified with Jonathan very much. He was as magnificent a carer as you could hope to meet, though of course he fell short from time to time because his task was humungous. What a towering figures Anicka's mother and her best friend are.

Oh my gosh, this is a terrific book that I will be recommending often! Annika's story is one of a woman who knows she's "different" but wants to be loved and accepted by the world, and, thankfully, encounters people who accept her for herself, love her, and help her.

The author did a terrific job of uncovering delicate emotional layers of Annika's feelings as she makes her way in the world from college age to adulthood.

It's a great, untypical love story!

Find this review and others at Carlene Inspired.
4.5 Stars
I just realized how long this review it. Sorry!!

Ten years does little to extinguish the flame that burns between Annika Rose and Jonathan. Seeing each other for the first time after such a large space of time is like wrapping yourself in a warm blanket at the first sight of winter, it's comfortable, but it also brings back the painful hurt each was left with at the end of their youthful relationship. Annika still prefers her solitude and the quiet, but Jonathan reminds her of the comfort of a companion, the trust, and the difficulties that sometimes come with dating when one doesn't understand social cues quite as well as others. She's not sure he'll want to see her again, not show more after the past, but she wants to see him again and this time, she's willing to do the work.

For those who haven't read On The Island, Tracey Garvis Graves' debut novel, let me tell you about how even years after reading it is unforgettable. I know the characters, I know their feelings, I think of them when people ask for specific types of stories, I think of them like old friends. Sure, she's published others since then, but that book just had that memorable quality to it. When I read the blurb for The Girl He Used to Know I felt that rush of excitement, that same feeling of butterflies before getting on a roller coaster, it was an immediate feeling of I must read this book. The blurb doesn't give much away, but the line, "She feels lost in social situations, saying the wrong thing or acting the wrong way - she just can't read people." told me this would be a unique read and I wasn't wrong. I was wrapped up in this story for several hours, I couldn't focus on anything without thinking about what I had left to discover on the pages. It was an all consuming read that left me smiling through my tears.

Annika Rose is your typical female main character, she's gorgeous, she's self sufficient, she's loved and lost, but she also struggles quite a lot with social interaction. What others call weird or avoid her for is really her high functioning autism and the tools she has learned to use to cope with her inability to understand facial expressions, social cues, and body language. When Jonathan first sees her he sees her beauty and soon after her brain and, despite the difficulties he has in just befriending her, he sets his sights on dating her. It isn't easy though, Annika is used to others "babysitting" her and is unprepared for what is required of her on date nights or even in Chess Club as she moves from occasional member to a competitive teammate. She frequently runs away to the safety of her room, is often unaware or almost too aware of the looks and comments made about her, and without a diagnosis has no tools to help her in the fast-paced college atmosphere. Tracey Garvis Graves really captured the misconception many held, and may still hold, about people with autism, I felt like I really was Annika as she battled the stigma of being dumb or slow. Tracey Garvis Graves also really highlights the uniqueness of high functioning autism, with Annika being so beautiful, but also easy prey for those who recognize she is unable to understand their intention. I am so thankful this girl has a roommate and best friend that loves her and helps her and never sees her as a burden, it's absolutely one of my favorite secondary relationships I've ever read.

The romance aspect of this story is just beautiful and so unique, the novel flashes back between 1991 while the two are in college dating and 2001, ten years later, with many more life experiences behind them. These two love so deeply, when they fall they fall hard, but college-aged Annika isn't prepared to cope with adulthood and the affects of choices and adult Annika has relied so much on her coping mechanisms that starting fresh with Jonathan sounds much better that dealing with the past. There is significant character growth in the ten year gap and while I would have loved to read it all I think we get just the right amount of highlights to understand where life took the two. Each are hardened a bit by their experiences, yet the spark between them still flickers innocently like it once did.

I so loved Jonathan and his patience, understanding, and love of Annika. He puts other's expectations behind him and loves her fiercely, even when he doesn't know what to do to be there for her. I also loved how he learned to ask things of her, to explain the love, commitment, and trust he needs to make the relationship work. I think it is important to highlight that Annika doesn't know how a relationship should work, being a partner to her rather than being a caretaker is Jonathan's goal and I think the dialogue we get in this novel as they explore dating again is incredible. It felt realistic and accurate and really made me think. The two face challenges, massive challenges many of us would never dream of facing, and yet they continue to fight for themselves and for each other. My only complaint is the lack of an epilogue, while I could have read the story of these two forever I really think an ending that gives readers a reprieve from the tears would have been amazing.

Told from Annika and Jonathan's alternating perspectives, The Girl He Used to Know captures the essence of first love and the mark it leaves on you so perfectly to me. It's the story of the underdog, a romance with depth that left me in tears, it's so beautiful and yet so heart wrenching, and begging for more. Tracey Garvis Graves' The Girl He Used to Know will have a spot on my favorites shelf forever.

ARC provided. show less

This is one of the most beautiful stories I have ever read! Totally enchanting. A story of unconditional love. So sensitively written. So heartwarming! I was so invested with the characters that toward the end when the story became REALLY intense I was honestly afraid to turn that page. I wanted to know what happened and its outcome, yet I was so afraid to know. I loved these characters so much! I wanted a happily ever after for them and was so afraid they would be torn apart yet again.

In 1991 Annika (Monica, but without the M) and Jonathan were in love. But then Jonathan went away to college, they broke up, he got married, he got divorced. It’s now ten years later and Jonathan is back and Annika pursues him, hoping to regain that show more love. Annika is shy, awkward, and refreshingly honest, doesn’t know how to play relationship games. In fact, being on the highly functional end of the autism spectrum, she has always struggled with relationships. With Jonathan, she feels safe. Annika brings out the best in Jonathan.

What a delight – an honor – it would be to have Annika, Jonathan, and Janice (Annika’s college roommate and best friend) in my life. Janice is the BFF everyone should have. Janice took Annika under her wing and taught her the ends and outs of campus life. It was Janice that took Annika to a chess club meeting where she eventually met Jonathan. These are truly beautiful people. To fit with the transparency of the characters the story itself was kept simple – a story of two lovers who lost their way and are now trying to regain what they had. The story is told from the perspectives of Annika and Jonathan. It also alternates between 1991 and 2001, first telling us how they met and how their sweet love developed and then how they found each other again and work at rekindling their relationship.

Thank you St. Martin’s Press and SheSpeaks for the advance reading copy of this novel. Opinions are my own. show less

On the surface this was a very charming second chance romance that featured a character on the autism spectrum. It had a strong beginning and the alternating narratives of Annika, a young woman with (undiagnosed) Asperger’s syndrome, and Jonathan, her sweet but somewhat nerdy boyfriend really grabbed my interest. I liked the insight into Annika’s mind about her struggles to read social cues and how her sensory issues affected her. And I liked that the two timelines, one from 1991 and the other 2001, showed the progress she’d made in learning to navigate the typical world. I pushed aside my annoyance that, of course, she had to be super-hot and that Jonathan’s character never felt fully developed. But I was extremely put off by show more the emotionally manipulative ending that used the World Trade Center tragedy as a plot device. I could also add there were a number of inconsistencies that bothered me but that ending alone made me wish I’d left this on my TBR list. show less