Baby Proof

This book had potential: addressing the taboo of women not wanting baby in a lighthearted but meaningful way. I was pleasantly surprised that this was the premise and, predictably but on theme, the book revolves around pregnancy. It certainly shows the pressure that women have to get pregnant even if they have no desire to, coming from family, friends and colleagues and being judged negatively for their refusal. I was therefore dismayed when the book took a turn for the worst and ended on an ambivalent and annoying note just to make the ending chirpy.
This was my second book by this author and it will be my last; both were underwhelming.

I don't usually read books that fall into the "chick-lit" classification - but I picked this one up when I ran into it at a used book store, because I was intrigued by the premise. [SPOILER ALERT in this review]

So, Baby Proof is a book about a childfree (CF) woman who marries a man who says he's the same way, but then changes his mind, after their mutual closest friends have babies. The author recounts some earlier experiences around kids for the couple, I think to give the idea that he didn't initially seem to be a fencesitter, but the backstory is too thin to understand if he really had a major about-face or was just lying all along about his intentions. Our main character is understandably upset, and gives him an ultimatum - she's show more not going to have children just because he wants them and rejects with clear explanation his theory that they could "compromise" by having one kid. They divorce, they both date other people. She has a lot of kid-focused things going on: she considers her infertile sister's request that she donate an egg to them and babysits for her other sister's kids, whom she loves. (She likes kids, but doesn't want them). She misses her husband.

Up until almost the very end, I was pleasantly surprised by this book. The main character is likable and compassionate - she's not portrayed as cold and selfish. The author goes through the responses to some of the common cultural insistences that we must all want to have babies - spends a good two pages on why having kids because you want someone to take care of you when you get old is not an appropriate rationale. It is the first time I'd ever seen a CF character in a book - especially as the main focus of the book - and I liked that. I liked seeing these ideas put forth as reasonable and sensible, and the crazy child-insistent coming off as the weirdos. I hate to say it, but it felt kind of empowering.

There's also every conceivable range here of women with kids. The sister who's infertile and wants them badly - then decides to adopt. The sister who has three of them and has been staying in a crap marriage because of them - but then decides not to take it anymore. The roommate who always dates the bad, unreliable guy - getting pregnant accidentally on purpose, because she wants kids more than she wants a good relationship.

But, I can't recommend the book, because of the way it ends.

Missing her ex-husband is killing this woman. The new, perfect guy she's found can't keep her happy - or even keep her attention - despite some mind-blowing sex. She can't stop thinking about and missing her husband. And I understand that kind of pain - really, I don't object to characters suffering an extreme amount. It even seemed likely here. But what I can't get behind is that she caves in. She decides to tell him she will do whatever it takes to get back together - even have a child. After some mixups, the book ends with them getting in bed together, after a month. She looks at her pill pack in the bathroom - you can't tell if she takes the pill or decides to skip it. She gets into bed, and he turns over and says he doesn't think he does need to be a dad to be happy - he just needs her.

Author gets points for at least not giving her main character some kind of wholesale conversion - she doesn't come out wanting kids; it's clear she's considering them as a sacrifice to get back with the man. But even doing so casts aspersions on her earlier convictions and feelings, and the conversation they had at the beginning about how having one kid is no compromise at all. It supports the idea that all women really do want children - if you think you don't, it's just because something is wrong with you (main character has mommy issues - there's a suggestion here that once her mom says "you're not like me" she can turn around and want kids.). The author probably can't conceive of this, as she mentions she has kids herself, but there are people who don't want babies at all - don't want the work, don't want the responsibility, don't want the hardship. There is nothing you can say to these people to make them change their minds. And someone who really didn't want kids for these reasons, who had really thought about it - she's not going to change her mind just because of some heartbreak - because that's not a win-win. That's a lose-lose. In real life, this woman would go on to be a resentful mother, and end up hating the husband she used to love because she did this for him and she didn't really want to. This is not a situation with a happy ending for people who really feel this way. The ending made me really really angry. I threw the book in the recycling. show less

I read this book after reading Emily Giffin's "Something Borrowed." I admire the author's courage in being willing to tackle tough subject matters for the so-called "chick lit" genre. Claudia and Ben are happily married and touted as the perfect couple. Claudia is especially thrilled that she found such a wonderful man who clearly shares her "no children" sentiment. Imagine her surprise when Ben changes his mind early in their marriage. Feeling betrayed, she leaves him and then spends the rest of the book trying to deal with losing Ben and questioning if they were ever soul mates, considering neither was willing to compromise for the other on this issue. And, really, can there ever be a compromise between "don't want children ever" and show more "desperately want a child"? Just for good measure, the author also introduces us to Claudia's sisters, one of whom is staying with a philandering husband for the sake of their children and the other who is dealing with infertility. Then there is Claudia's best friend who considers becoming pregnant to try to force the hand of her married boyfriend.

I like Ms. Giffin's writing style, and she does a wonderful job bringing interesting, layered characters to life. Very often I dislike one or more choices her characters make, but that is what makes the story realistic to me. I admire her willingness to have her characters be unlikeable. The story was quick, but engrossing, and I enjoyed the secondary characters at least as much as I enjoyed Claudia. I thought she handled all the storylines with sensitivity.

As I was reading, I was so curious how she could possibly end the story. I mean, having Claudia suddenly decide she wants a child would be seen as a cop-out to all those who choose not to have children and having Ben suddenly decide he doesn't want children anymore would be seen as a cop-out to all those who choose to have children. I thought Ms. Giffin was walking quite a tightrope, and I thought her ending was about the best she could do with the topic. [Caution! Spoileresque -- It's still unclear to me what their decision will be, but it now seems to be a decision Ben and Claudia will make together. That's enough for me.] All in all, an enjoyable read. show less

This was the first Emily Giffin book that I read, and I enjoyed it so much that I just went out and bought another.

Giffin's heroine in Baby Proof, Claudia Parr, is smart, funny, and unapologetic for her desire not to have a baby. And unlike so many characters in chick lit, she actually seems to work--instead of just having a "job" that never appears in the novel--and she lives a reasonable lifestyle. The realism that Giffin gives to Claudia makes it easy to identify with this character, which is critical as the reader goes along with Claudia through a bumpy year in her life in which she is forced to reexamine her priorities and life choices. Claudia's struggle to choose will keep you reading to the end, which although a bit show more predictable, leaves the reader smiling. show less

I had been wanting to pick this book up for a while. I'm not a die-hard chick lit fan and I had read some terrible reviews of Giffin's other books (Something borrowed and Something blue, etc.) but really wanted to give this one a go as the theme hits pretty close to home. I found myself immediately liking the heroine and narrator, Claudia. She came off as being very level-headed with admirable ethics and convictions. Her reasoning for not wanting children was very sound and she wasn't at all painted as the cold-hearted child hater that society typically assumes women are when they are child-free by choice (CFBC). Claudia has close relationships with her sisters and female friends, each of whom has some kind of child-related dilemma--her show more eldest sister stayed in a terrible marriage for her children but has had enough of her husband's cheating; her other sister has been trying to conceive for ages and finds out her eggs are too old and then there's her best friend who accidentally got pregnant on purpose while sleeping with a married man because she realized she wants children more than a stable relationship. Throughout their troubles, Claudia is often the voice of reason, offering sisterly support and advice. We also see her spend time with her niece and she explains how much she enjoys baby-sitting her, but doesn't feel she could be capable as a mother. When Claudia and her husband Ben divorced early on in the novel, I had a lot of sympathy for Claudia, but I admired her for dong it. Her husband, who claimed to be CFBC when they met, changed his mind when their close mutual friends announced they were pregnant. He insisted they could compromise on only having only one child and from Claudia's perspective, seemed to constantly harass her about having children and had his family on his side to pressure her as well. I was impressed that she stood up for what she believed in, not caving in to his wishes and gave him an ultimatum: marriage to her or a child. His decision however brought on a lot of heartbreak. Even finding herself in the arms (and bed) of a seemingly perfect man couldn't quelch the pain and longing she felt for her husband. As a side note, I really wish the book wasn't written in the first-person perspective, just so we could have better understood Ben's change of heart. Was he more of a fence-sitter and agreed to be child-free, but had all along secretly wanted a baby? Or did he really just do a one-eighty on Claudia? As the book nears its climax, Claudia realizes she misses Ben so much, she would be willing to have a child to get her husband back. On the one hand, I believe she does love him this much, but on the other, I can't believe she would cave after all this time. Having a child is a HUGE decision and she just decides all of a sudden she'd be willing to do it to make him happy. This seems to me like a pretty crappy reason to procreate. (I was annoyed, but decided to keep reading...) We soon learn, however, that Ben's new fling--a lean, blonde, young and fertile doctor-- is wearing an engagement ring. After much wallowing and depression, Claudia decides to face him in person and plead her case, offering up her uterus as a dowry for them to get back together. The sitcom cliche of miscommunication is the quick and easy wrap-up to the story that Giffin chose to utilize. All of the couples in the book have happy endings, despite Claudia explaining to her niece earlier that not all stories have happy endings. While Claudia offered to have a baby, Ben said he didn't need one as long as he could have her back. Yet after a month of reconciliation, neither of them will address the elephant in the room and the reader has no closure as to whether or not they spawned. The ending was way too quick and tidy, with no real answers or decisions. Thank God this was a really fast read, otherwise I'd be a lot more disappointed to have wasted my time on this novel. I definitely won't be reading any of her other books show less

The plot is completely unbelievable - are we supposed to believe the so called perfect couple gets divorced after what seems to be about 2 weeks of arguing about having a baby? Then is it possible that most of the people around the wife are having child issues (kids keeping someone in a bad marriage, not being able to conceive, conceiving with a married boyfriend) at the same time? It's insulting to the readers intelligence... and that is what makes it the perfect beach read. If that is what you're looking for, pick it up. If not, run for the hills.

I think perhaps this book should have been about 100 pages shorter. By the end, I was tired of the whole story. Claudia doesn't want any children, but suddenly husband Ben does. What to do? Her sister also wants a baby but can't have one, and one other sister has some but is in a troubled marriage. I was more interested in the sisters' stories than Claudia's, to be honest. Claudia just comes across as selfish. I do have a problem with the ending too. I cannot say much without spoiling the ending but, oh, what the heck. You've been warned. Having a baby to keep your husband is the wrong reason to have a baby!!!