Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing

In the past, the response of the Catholic Church to any sort of sexual problem (online pornography, prostitutes, adultery, etc.) on the part of a parishioner has usually been some version of "Pray harder" or "Just say no." This book looks at the reasons behind such behavior.

God made us, including the sexual parts, so it is wrong for anyone to say that He is disgusted with anyone who goes down this path. The book explores several possible causes for this behavior. Among them are: parents who are overly rigid or totally disengaged; being emotionally abandoned by your parents; triangulation (a parent tells their marital or sexual problems to their child instead of to their spouse); along with emotional trauma and sexual abuse.

This book show more also explores how to get out of your sex addiction. It includes things like learning to love yourself, repairing your relationship when things go wrong, pursuing strength and vulnerability in your relationships, and discovering a purpose in your life through community.

You may think that your online porn "habit" is totally under control. If your spouse and your children don't agree with you, try listening to them and take a step back. Start by reading this book. It is very much worth the time. show less

Whether we are ready to admit it or not, most of us have struggled with some form of addiction throughout our lives. Unwanted sexual tendencies are made worse in today's society due to the availability of pornography and prostitution. People that find themselves in a battle for freedom against their sexual addictions often get wrapped up in shame and self-loathing. In this book, Jay Stringer welcomes those who are struggling by letting them know that they are not alone and that there is absolutely nothing wrong with them.

Stringer outlines the key things that cause an individual to engage in unwanted sexual behavior such as a deep exploration of childhood. I am very aware of how formative our childhood years are, but I never thought show more about how dysfunctional family dynamics can lead to undesirable sexual behavior later in life. For example, did you know that men that had strict fathers are more likely to become interested in pornography that shows power over women? Or that women with strict mothers are more likely to have submissive fantasies? Stringer dives into these topics as well as the core experiences that are fostered by our unmet needs. He approaches the book from both a psychological research viewpoint and a spiritual perspective.

It is important to note that passages from the bible are frequently quoted within each chapter, which may be off-putting for those who are not religious. Personally, I am not Christian but still found the scripture references to be enjoyable and relatable. I think that one of the most important aspects of this book was Stringer's ability to weave personal stories of people engaging in unwanted sexual behavior with facts and statistics about their addictions. He outlines a variety of techniques that can help struggling individuals overcome their tendencies. I particularly enjoyed the reflection questions that were posed at the end of each chapter designed to help people understand their unwanted sexual desires instead of running away from them! I think that this book is an important read not only for those struggling with addiction but also for people who want to heal past wounds that they may not even have known they had. I would also recommend that parents read this as well so that they can better understand how their relationship with their partner and children can drastically shape the child's sexual outlook later in life. show less

The content is heavy and makes you feel sad and disgusted at some of the stories. The target audience for this book is someone like my dad, but based on what happened with him, it was helpful for me to hear people’s testimonies of healing.

A great book exploring an area in a way I had never considered. How can our past reveal our sexual brokeness.