Everything Grows: A Novel
by Aimee Herman
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"Fifteen-year-old Eleanor Fromme just chopped off all of her hair. How else should she cope after hearing that her bully, James, has taken his own life? When Eleanor's English teacher suggests students write letters they'll never send, Eleanor writers to James. With each letter she writes, Eleanor discovers more about herself, even while trying to make sense of his death. And, with the help of a unique cast of characters, Eleanor not only learns what it means to be inside a body that does show more not quite match what she feels on the inside, but also comes to terms with her own mother's mental illness. Told through a series of letters and set against a 1993-era backdrop of grunge rock and riot grrl bands, Everything Grows, by Aimee Herman, depicts Eleanor's extraordinary journey to solve the mystery within her and feel complete. Along the way, she loses and gains friends, rebuilds relationships with her family, and develops a system of support to help figure out the language of her queer identity. Through author Aimee Herman's exceptional storytelling, Everything Grows reveals the value of finding community or creating it when it falls apart, while exploring the importance of forgiveness, acceptance, and learning how to survive on your own terms"-- show lessTags
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There's a lot to love about Everything Grows. Aggie is worthy of all the attention paid to her over the course of the book. El is pretty spiffy most of the time (not everyone could forgive and actually legitimately mourn their bully, even after finding out the reasons behind them being a bully), Helaine is wonderful, and I want nothing but the best for Flor.
Thing is, don't go into this thinking that this is a story just about Eleanor coping with the death of her bully because it's so much more than that to the point that it feels weird having that be the thing that drew me in and made me want to read the book. This is not that book. It's definitely about Eleanor finding herself and dealing with the aftermath of her mother's suicide show more attempt, as well as trying to help the people left behind when James (the bully) kills himself.
I like that El tries to make these grand gestures (tracking down the correct Brian) only to find out that reality doesn't conform to the Hollywood ideal. I like that El is at a loss to describe how she feels about her body and the disconnect between what's physically happening and what she'd prefer.
I don't really get the rush of nostalgia that other people have mentioned. Sure, lots of touchstones are thrown about (Nirvana, Milli Vanilli) but it's not until Eleanor mentions her Walkman that I remembered that the year is supposed to be 1993. And even then, it doesn't really feel at all 90's-ish til Reigh shows up and I'm not sure I can pinpoint why. It vexes me though, so I'm throwing it out there.
I will say that Aggie's letter to Kurt at the end is wonderful and probably worth the price of admission alone. If it's not, then Eler's joy in wanting to keep going, to find the words and people and things that will make her life be better definitely is.
I received a copy of this book in exchange for this honest review. show less
Thing is, don't go into this thinking that this is a story just about Eleanor coping with the death of her bully because it's so much more than that to the point that it feels weird having that be the thing that drew me in and made me want to read the book. This is not that book. It's definitely about Eleanor finding herself and dealing with the aftermath of her mother's suicide show more attempt, as well as trying to help the people left behind when James (the bully) kills himself.
I like that El tries to make these grand gestures (tracking down the correct Brian) only to find out that reality doesn't conform to the Hollywood ideal. I like that El is at a loss to describe how she feels about her body and the disconnect between what's physically happening and what she'd prefer.
I don't really get the rush of nostalgia that other people have mentioned. Sure, lots of touchstones are thrown about (Nirvana, Milli Vanilli) but it's not until Eleanor mentions her Walkman that I remembered that the year is supposed to be 1993. And even then, it doesn't really feel at all 90's-ish til Reigh shows up and I'm not sure I can pinpoint why. It vexes me though, so I'm throwing it out there.
I will say that Aggie's letter to Kurt at the end is wonderful and probably worth the price of admission alone. If it's not, then Eler's joy in wanting to keep going, to find the words and people and things that will make her life be better definitely is.
I received a copy of this book in exchange for this honest review. show less
This review was written for LibraryThing Early Reviewers.A story about growing up, coming out, and finding the words to speak your truth.
(Full disclosure: I received a free e-ARC for review through Edelweiss. Trigger warning for suicide, child abuse, and homophobia.)
(Full disclosure: I received a free e-ARC for review through Edelweiss. Trigger warning for suicide, child abuse, and homophobia.)
show more
I fell asleep clutching your notebook. We sit in classrooms for years and years. Same faces. But we have no idea what we are all swallowing deep, deep inside us. Why were you writing to me, James? Me? And why did you choose me to bully? Do we hate the people we recognize ourselves in? I mean, parts of ourselves that we can’t exactly be?
***
“Audre Lorde said something really beautiful about that,” Flor said. “A different book than what you’re reading. I’ll have to give to you. She talked about the words we don’t yet
have and the power of what happens when we find them.”show less
“So how do I find my words?”
“Keep reading. Keep searching. You and your words will find one another,” Flor said.
***
“Dear Kurt,” Aggie paused. “What does it feel like to be gone but still able to speak? Even in your death, you make music. We rip up old flannels to remember you, but all we really need to do is press play. Sew thread into each square and knit them together as you scream ‘Pennyroyal Tea.’ Watch as shirts turn into a blanket to remind us how to stay warm as you call out ‘Lithium’ and you came as you are. There is no such thing as a separation of deaths. I believe we all head into the same place, floating and filling up the air with our memories. Say hello to my mother, please. Tell James he had more friends than he ever knew. I’ll keep playing your music to keep you down here as you sing along above me.”
***
Fifteen-year-old Eleanor Fromme is hanging at her* best friend Dara's house when she hears that a fellow classmate committed suicide. Her immediate reaction is to run home and chop off her beautiful blonde curls.
Things are complicated, and not just because James was her bully (what's the "right" way to feel when someone you hated and feared dies by suicide?). El's mom Shirley (as El now calls her) attempted the year before, and wound up institutionalized for a brief period. Though Shirley is doing better now - going to group therapy, making friends, even dating again - Eleanor cannot beat back the fear that she'll try again.
Somewhat serendipitously, James's mom Helaine ends up in Eleanor's suicide support group. This, along with her new look (or rather, the reactions it elicits in others), impending puberty, and a journal assignment from her English teacher Ms. Raimondo, opens up the metaphorical floodgates in Eleanor. As she writes letters to her bully, Eleanor discovers that he was also writing to her - giving her the courage to do what he couldn't: come out. But even as Eleanor self-identifies as a lesbian, she still feels like that word doesn't quite fit: "It’s like I’m a meal on a menu with the wrong name. My ingredients make it seem like I’m one dish when really, I swear I’m another."
Luckily, El is surrounded by a pretty wonderful support system: her parents are loving and open-minded; she has a great mentor in her mom's best friend Flor, an out lesbian; and a chance meeting (and subsequent friendship) with Reigh, a trans woman, helps expand El's concept of queerness. Whereas Dara turns out to be a pretty shitty friend, El finds a kindred spirit in Aggie, unabashed feminist and she of the glorious braid. Helaine even takes El under her wing, showering her with the love and acceptance meant for James.
There's so much to love about Everything Grows. As a child of the '90s, I dug all the "historical" references. Everything Grows takes place in the 1993-1994 school year, the ending coinciding with the death of Kurt Cobain. Not gonna lie: Aggie's letter had me in tears. Pretty much all of the music that El and James are into is on my ipod.
I love the abortion conversation, and that Planned Parenthood got a mention.
I love that Aggie is a vegetarian (and El is totally nonjudgmental and accommodating of it), and that there is an ex-boyfriend known as Vegetarian Todd.
I love all the women, from Gret to Flor to Helaine to Reigh to Shirley, and especially how supportive they are of each other, and of El.
I love that Helaine is not a stereotype.
I love that El is an atheist.
I even love El's reaction to her changing body, since I could see so much of myself in it. (I'm not trans, but I too suffered the indignity of family members hounding me to wear a bra. Period, no want.)
Sometimes the language felt a little off: too formal, too childish, and - on the other extreme - too dirty for a teenage girl. (Gah, to be as bold a at sixteen as T'nea. To be that bold at forty!)
Overall, though, Everything Grows is a sweet and moving read about a young person growing up, coming out, and trying to find the right words to speak their truth. The awesome soundtrack is just a bonus.
* I struggled with what pronouns I should use in this review, ultimately settling on "she" and "her" since it's how El thinks of herself throughout most of the story.
http://www.easyvegan.info/2019/05/07/everything-grows-by-aimee-herman/
A lot of books show up at my home that go unread - to be given away or on the never-ending TBR pile. Thankfully something about "Everything Grows" urged me to read it and now. And that is exactly what this books does to your heart - it plants into your heart and tears it apart as it blossoms.
Aimee Herman gives us the tale of Eleanor. A teen in 1993 (This GenXer is still floored each time she reads a book that is nostalgic for her own high school days and LOVES it. Even if it is hard to read "historical fiction" for that time.) whose bully has recently taken his own life just months after her mom attempted to do the same. At the prompting for her English teacher, Eleanor journals her way through the months after the bully's death, show more exploring not just their relationship, but also her relationship with her mother, and most importantly herself.
There are definitely places in this book where I felt it was a bit unrealistic, but it works in the end. It all works. 1993 was a huge year for me. I am the same age as Eleanor's sister, who struggles through her first year of college. Every step along Eleanor's journey was deeply felt due to both superb writing, but also personal flashbacks.
I am not sure how this would go over with someone who has survived their own attempt to take their lives, so please consult someone. I do know that this book is full of hope as Eleanor wrestles with what suicide means - is it giving up? Is it giving in? Why? Why not? This book is also about queer youth, as signaled by the rainbow button on the cover. According to the Trevor Project "suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death among young people ages 10 to 24 and LGB youth seriously contemplate suicide at almost three times the rate of heterosexual youth." From everything I know of LGB youth and young adults, I would like to think this book is a welcome addition to their lives as it is affirming not just for one's identity, but for the really fucked up ways we all stumble through figuring out that identity.
As a parent, I appreciated the insight into the teen mind. As I get older, I lose the finer touch of my memories. Aimee Herman reminded me of all the drama that happens in our minds and hearts. And why sometimes the best thing a parent can do it simply say, "I love you. I accept you." and the shut the fuck up.
I was going to give this to a parent who spotted me reading it at soccer, but I think I'm going to walk this over to our Gender and Sexuality Center over my lunch break.
Disclaimer: I received this book in exchange for an honest review. show less
Aimee Herman gives us the tale of Eleanor. A teen in 1993 (This GenXer is still floored each time she reads a book that is nostalgic for her own high school days and LOVES it. Even if it is hard to read "historical fiction" for that time.) whose bully has recently taken his own life just months after her mom attempted to do the same. At the prompting for her English teacher, Eleanor journals her way through the months after the bully's death, show more exploring not just their relationship, but also her relationship with her mother, and most importantly herself.
There are definitely places in this book where I felt it was a bit unrealistic, but it works in the end. It all works. 1993 was a huge year for me. I am the same age as Eleanor's sister, who struggles through her first year of college. Every step along Eleanor's journey was deeply felt due to both superb writing, but also personal flashbacks.
I am not sure how this would go over with someone who has survived their own attempt to take their lives, so please consult someone. I do know that this book is full of hope as Eleanor wrestles with what suicide means - is it giving up? Is it giving in? Why? Why not? This book is also about queer youth, as signaled by the rainbow button on the cover. According to the Trevor Project "suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death among young people ages 10 to 24 and LGB youth seriously contemplate suicide at almost three times the rate of heterosexual youth." From everything I know of LGB youth and young adults, I would like to think this book is a welcome addition to their lives as it is affirming not just for one's identity, but for the really fucked up ways we all stumble through figuring out that identity.
As a parent, I appreciated the insight into the teen mind. As I get older, I lose the finer touch of my memories. Aimee Herman reminded me of all the drama that happens in our minds and hearts. And why sometimes the best thing a parent can do it simply say, "I love you. I accept you." and the shut the fuck up.
I was going to give this to a parent who spotted me reading it at soccer, but I think I'm going to walk this over to our Gender and Sexuality Center over my lunch break.
Disclaimer: I received this book in exchange for an honest review. show less
This is a very clever way of looking at a myriad of issues through the eyes of a teenager. We first meet Eleanor while she is dealing with her mother's latest suicide attempt. Making this even more compelling for Eleanor is the suicide of a fellow student, James, a student who had a history of bullying Eleanor. Fortunately for Eleanor she has a new English teacher who suggested that her students start a journal where each would write letters to a person where they expressed their thoughts and feelings as a way to cope with this tragedy, and any other issues they had concerns about. These journals would not be read by anyone else or graded, making them more effective. This was a wonderful way to see how Eleanor dealt with the issues show more surrounding suicide, sexual identity, divorce, family issues, abortion, dating, friendship and growing up through her eyes. This is a wonderful book for every teen who questions who they are as well as family members who wish to have insights into these issues. show less
This review was written for LibraryThing Early Reviewers.Eleanor’s schoolmate tormentor has just killed himself, and to help the students work through their grief, Eleanor’s teacher encourages them to write. Just write. To anyone, to just get their thoughts out. Eleanor chooses to write to her former bully, James, and in doing so, begins to figure out who she is, who James was, and to better understand those around her. Everything Grows deals with heavy topics; suicide, sexuality, gender identity. Understanding James’ torments, Eleanor learns to accept and love herself, even the parts of herself that she can’t find the words for and hasn’t yet figured out.
I enjoyed how realistically this novel dealt with changing relationships and varying levels of support during Eleanor’s process show more of coming out. Some stand by her easily while others are lost along the way. A lot happens to Eleanor in a small span of time, and the last third of the novel, including the introduction of some new characters, felt forced and rushed. As someone who was also 15 when Kurt Cobain ended his life, it was a sad and strange bit of nostalgia to visit that time again. Overall, this feels like a book that could provide great comfort to a young adult trying to figure themselves out and find their place in the world. show less
I enjoyed how realistically this novel dealt with changing relationships and varying levels of support during Eleanor’s process show more of coming out. Some stand by her easily while others are lost along the way. A lot happens to Eleanor in a small span of time, and the last third of the novel, including the introduction of some new characters, felt forced and rushed. As someone who was also 15 when Kurt Cobain ended his life, it was a sad and strange bit of nostalgia to visit that time again. Overall, this feels like a book that could provide great comfort to a young adult trying to figure themselves out and find their place in the world. show less
This review was written for LibraryThing Early Reviewers.Everything Grows by Aimee Herman is an introspective young adult novel.
Eleanor Fromme's reaction to the news that her classmate who bullied her, James, committed suicide leads to unforeseen consequences. Her best friend Dara's shocking comments serve as a catalyst to a realization that Eleanor has struggled to articulate for quite some time. In the midst of this uncertainty, she is also still grappling with her mother Shirley's suicide attempt and Eleanor's fears that she will try again. Her journey to understand herself is viewed through a class assignment in which Eleanor writes diary format letters to James. By the end of the assignment, Eleanor has a better understanding of herself, yet there are still layers she has yet to show more explore.
Eleanor's voice is quite engaging as she ponders the shifts within herself. Her hurt at Dara's rejection is tempered by her unexpected friendship with new student Aggie. Her lingering concerns about her mother's mental health issues are realistically depicted and rather poignant. With her oldest sister Greta off at college, Shirley's best friend, Flor, provides Eleanor with a steadying influence and someone to confide in as she becomes more comfortable with who she is. Meeting James's mother, Helaine, gives Eleanor access to James's diary where she learns she and her bully have more in common than she thought possible.
Everything Grows is a thought-provoking young adult novel that is insightful and reflective. The characters are well-developed and likable. Aimee Herman deftly handles sensitive subject matter in a forthright and realistic manner. The novel ends on a positive note, but Eleanor's journey is not yet complete since she is still wrestling with other parts of her sexual identity. show less
Eleanor Fromme's reaction to the news that her classmate who bullied her, James, committed suicide leads to unforeseen consequences. Her best friend Dara's shocking comments serve as a catalyst to a realization that Eleanor has struggled to articulate for quite some time. In the midst of this uncertainty, she is also still grappling with her mother Shirley's suicide attempt and Eleanor's fears that she will try again. Her journey to understand herself is viewed through a class assignment in which Eleanor writes diary format letters to James. By the end of the assignment, Eleanor has a better understanding of herself, yet there are still layers she has yet to show more explore.
Eleanor's voice is quite engaging as she ponders the shifts within herself. Her hurt at Dara's rejection is tempered by her unexpected friendship with new student Aggie. Her lingering concerns about her mother's mental health issues are realistically depicted and rather poignant. With her oldest sister Greta off at college, Shirley's best friend, Flor, provides Eleanor with a steadying influence and someone to confide in as she becomes more comfortable with who she is. Meeting James's mother, Helaine, gives Eleanor access to James's diary where she learns she and her bully have more in common than she thought possible.
Everything Grows is a thought-provoking young adult novel that is insightful and reflective. The characters are well-developed and likable. Aimee Herman deftly handles sensitive subject matter in a forthright and realistic manner. The novel ends on a positive note, but Eleanor's journey is not yet complete since she is still wrestling with other parts of her sexual identity. show less
Eleanor has had quite the year, a mother who survived a suicide attempt and now a classmate, her own bully in fact, that successfully left this earth far too soon. This is the story of her emotional ride into dealing with these events and discovering her true identity.
Written as if journaling to the deceased classmate, James, the truths Eleanor admits to herself, her family and her "friends" are raw. Set in 1993, it is disturbing to see how far we HAVEN'T come in acceptance over two decades later.
A timeless story of discovering our true self and the gains and losses unfortunately attached to doing so.
*A review copy was provided by the publisher. All opinions are my own.
Written as if journaling to the deceased classmate, James, the truths Eleanor admits to herself, her family and her "friends" are raw. Set in 1993, it is disturbing to see how far we HAVEN'T come in acceptance over two decades later.
A timeless story of discovering our true self and the gains and losses unfortunately attached to doing so.
*A review copy was provided by the publisher. All opinions are my own.
This review was written for LibraryThing Early Reviewers.Members
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