Ant Farm: And Other Desperate Situations

A collection of very short humorous scenes and sketches, featuring such topics as the kids' idea of what people are talking about at the grown-ups' table, what the criminal justice system would look like if real life were like middle school, what that "may contain peanuts" note on food labels really means, and (my personal favorite) the canine version of The X-Files. ("Yesterday I fell asleep, and when I woke up, my testicles were missing.") These are generally more sort of modestly amusing than laugh-out-loud funny, but there's a certain kind of cleverness in its skewed-yet-strangely-rational perspectives that's appealing.

"I'm not trying to get negative, I'm just...(Sigh)"

That pretty much sums up this snarky, cynical and humorous collection of speculations and observations from Simon Rich. It's a collection that presents a more youthful, upbeat resignation echoing the more reposed one found in the writing of David Sedaris. Ant Farm is full of nostalgic recollections and weird possibilities concerning the irrelevancies of those desperate situations that give us awkward moments of reflection.

Moments that involve realizing the agony spent before receiving one's first calculator, the ironic closed-mindedness when experimenting with a ouija board, making candy with a forgetful someone named Peanut Al, keeping close tabs on your daily karma tally, God's show more overwhelming support for Orel Hershiser, and the three things you really don't need if stranded on a desert island.

Ant Farm is an incredibly fast and funny read. The selections are brief and varied, maybe a little too much so, as each consists no more than a couple of pages and is unbounded by coherent theme other than pure whimsy. But it does create that weird momentary pause, raising the question whether there is anything more absurd than us humans and our behavior. show less

This collection of shorter humorous pieces — I hesitate to use the word "stories" as so many are written only to hit a punchline — are either the first inklings of a major force in humor or the short, brilliant sparks of beer-infused talent at the cusp of spiraling into oblivion.

Personally, I’m hoping for the latter.

Simon Rich, with his Harvard degree and his being all Mr. President of The Harvard Lampoon, who does he think he is having his oh-so-clever little observations published just in time for graduation? Who the hell is this kid with testimonial from Jon Stewart on the front and back cover — what, you couldn’t find more than one person to say nice things about you? I noticed, Simon, that half of these little stories of show more yours (if you can call them stories, most are just little fragments of dialog) were previously published in that paragon of literary lights The Harvard Lampoon; were you unable to get anyone outside of your alma mater to give you a few inches of space in their journals and magazines? I bet you didn’t even try, I bet the whole thing is just a bunch of back-slapping good-ol'-boys insider club wheeling-dealing. And as for the other half of the book, what was that, contractual filler that the publisher requested after you handed in a twenty-five page manuscript? Your success is a farce, my friend, your talent…

Actually, your stuff is pretty damn funny, I have to admit. I’m not going to say you hit it out of the park because there are a few items that do feel a bit like filler, where the humor is stretched a bit thin. Where you do hit, you hit well, strong and solid. The pieces are like finely crafted commercials, dialog and description succinct and powerful, and just like that on to the next.

“A conversation at the grown-ups’ table as imagined at the kids table” is nothing short of brilliant. It’s the kind of thing that The National Lampoon Radio Hour wished they’d written, the kind of thing the early Saturday Night Live might have tried, and exactly the sort of thing Hollywood would use to build a movie franchise out of… a bad movie franchise. Think Look Whose Talking meets Charles Bukowski. No, don’t think it, don’t even reread that sentence! Hollywood can hear our thoughts and that’s why they make the crap they do. That’s how they get away with saying “We’re giving the people what they want!” No! We don’t want it, we’re just joking! It’s a joke! Please, don’t make any more crappy movies! I beg you! Get out of my head!

This isn’t much of a review. Sorry about that. Let me rectify the situation here and now. Most of what Rich writes about concerns the life of children, kids of all ages, and those childhood perceptions that sometimes get in the way of our world view. There’s a short drama about what a third grader imagines the UNICEF headquarters are like (UNICEF is a tyrannical despot using kids to collect money to make himself rich), a seventh grade fantasy where all the jocks become slaves to the nerds, the best friend who has a sex-addicted fashion model girlfriend that clearly is a figment of his friend’s imagination, and a variety of other (57 in all) situations where things don’t go as planned. Simon writes what he knows, and at the age of 22 he still remembers vividly and painfully how unfair middle school was, taking the even-handed lack of justice from the principal’s office and applies it to the adult courtroom.

How was that, did that sound more like a book review? I tried to keep that paragraph factual without letting my bitter jealousy and rancor seep through.

What? No, I’m not jealous. Did I say that? I don’t think I did. No, no. Not at all jealous.

(Jerkwad.) show less

This title is the book equivalent of stand-up comedy. My response to it was like my response to much stand-up comedy:

(1) Mostly just amusing, rather than laugh-out-loud-funny,
(2) But with a few comic gems, and
(2) If men really think about sex that much, I'd rather not know, thank you very much.

Pieces I found funny:

second grade realization
a day at UNICEF headquarters as i imagined it in third grade
i still remember the day i got my first calculator
our thoughts are with you
math problems
i can only think of two scenarios where high school math would come in handy
the dog x-files

In a series of brief yet highly imaginative sketches, Simon Rich creates clever fantasies based on questions and topics that most of us would never consider. What happens when elementary school children discover the true intent of the Politeness Game? Are those love coupons your girlfriend gave you still valid after you've been apart for years? And just how awkward is it when murderers run into their victims in heaven? These are only a few of many hilarious tales that Rich offers up in this fast-paced read.

Ant Farm is the perfect book for those in need of a quick dose of humor to brighten their day; simply open to any page, start reading, and laugh out loud. Each situation has a unique twist that makes you look at ordinary life in an show more entirely new way. This is the kind of book that you could read all the way through within the hour or dip back into from time to time - either way, it never loses it's spontaneity and intelligent wit. show less

A collection of hilarious little gems, ranging from what children imagine grownups are saying, to the failed dating attempts of an endangered species.

A funny, short book of vignettes. Think a short version of Jon Stewart's "Naked Pictures of Famous People". Not nearly as funny as "Naked Pictures", but consistently funny, and had enough belly laughs to make it a nice first book. "Ant Farm", "My Mom's all time top five greatest boyfriends" and "i can only thing of two scenarios where high school math would come in handy" certainly showed the amazing amount of potential this young writer has.