The Ship We Built
by Lexie Bean
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Description
A fifth-grader whose best friends walked away, whose mother is detached, and whose father does unspeakable things, copes with the help of friend Sofie and anonymous letters tied to balloons and released. Includes a list of resources related to abuse, gender, sexuality, and more.Tags
Recommendations
Member Reviews
Painful and powerful book on the subject of trans awakening and childhood sexual abuse. The story is related in letters that Rowan attaches to balloons and releases when he needs an outlet to be heard. There's a surprising hopefullness to it, but it's also, as advertised, a hard read. The author shares that some of the experiences are based on their own life in the notes at the end.
This is an ownvoices review.
It's going to be hard for me to articulate exactly the experience of reading The Ship We Built. It was extremely painful, yet healing in ways I didn't expect. The experiences of young trans boy Rowan's are so similar to my own, it felt as though Lexie Bean had seen within me, and seen my still very open and very raw wounds of childhood - from the sexual abuse Rowan cannot yet put into words, to his surety of being a boy and the complications that come with trying to understand where his own boyhood fits into the perceptions he has of manhood due to the abuse from men in his life.
At times I needed to put this book down and take a breath and distance myself, as it got too much. The depictions of loneliness, of show more fear, of isolation were so heartbreaking and the gorgeous writing felt like a punch to the gut. There is something so heart wrenching about reading something that stares so directly into your soul, and your own experiences of abuse and young transness.
There were times even when I thought maybe I wouldn't have the strength to finish it, but I am so so glad I did. The Ship We Built is ultimately healing. It's about finding yourself, it's about finding the words to express yourself and what you've been through. It's about the tenderness of friendship and love and understanding, and this book is definitely that - tender. It felt to me like a hug from someone who really sees me.
Despite this being middle grade fiction, I absolutely encourage adults to pick this up too, especially trans readers - you will get so much out of it.
Trigger warnings: heavily implied child sexual abuse (not graphic, but a strong theme throughout the whole book), parental neglect and abuse, transphobia and homophobia, internalised transphobia and homophobia, suicidal thoughts and ideation show less
It's going to be hard for me to articulate exactly the experience of reading The Ship We Built. It was extremely painful, yet healing in ways I didn't expect. The experiences of young trans boy Rowan's are so similar to my own, it felt as though Lexie Bean had seen within me, and seen my still very open and very raw wounds of childhood - from the sexual abuse Rowan cannot yet put into words, to his surety of being a boy and the complications that come with trying to understand where his own boyhood fits into the perceptions he has of manhood due to the abuse from men in his life.
At times I needed to put this book down and take a breath and distance myself, as it got too much. The depictions of loneliness, of show more fear, of isolation were so heartbreaking and the gorgeous writing felt like a punch to the gut. There is something so heart wrenching about reading something that stares so directly into your soul, and your own experiences of abuse and young transness.
There were times even when I thought maybe I wouldn't have the strength to finish it, but I am so so glad I did. The Ship We Built is ultimately healing. It's about finding yourself, it's about finding the words to express yourself and what you've been through. It's about the tenderness of friendship and love and understanding, and this book is definitely that - tender. It felt to me like a hug from someone who really sees me.
Despite this being middle grade fiction, I absolutely encourage adults to pick this up too, especially trans readers - you will get so much out of it.
Trigger warnings: heavily implied child sexual abuse (not graphic, but a strong theme throughout the whole book), parental neglect and abuse, transphobia and homophobia, internalised transphobia and homophobia, suicidal thoughts and ideation show less
I want to preface my review by saying… I am going to refer to the main character as Rowan Beck. Rowan is a 10-year-old transgender boy. While another name is used to identify Rowan in the book, and other pronouns I am going to use Rowan’s name and the pronoun he. That’s what seems right to me, but I apologize if I have confused anyone or done it wrong. That just seems right to me! Now! On to the review.
Rowan is ten years old and Rowan is a transgender boy. He doesn’t necessarily have the exact vocabulary to describe it, but he knows that he is different – special on days when he is feeling more charitable towards himself. “I’m not like other boys,” Rowan declares early in the novel and his is the beginning of the show more story.
His group of girlfriends have abandoned him and have begun the almost silent bullying that so often happens in middle school: laughing, pointing, exclusion. There’s Sophia… Rowan thinks that he and Sophia have a lot in common. Neither of them seems to “fit in” the way they feel the should. Together they have a tender and touching friendship. I was particularly touched by the way they would leave rocks on each other’s porches so that they knew they were each fine. It struck me as something that a young person would do… a way of existing and being noticed.
Because of the inner turmoil Rowan is dealing with he begins writing letters to an anonymous friend. Using his allowance Rowan buys balloons and ties the letters to them and sets them free. It’s a wonderful coping mechanism and a beautiful vehicle for the character’s thoughts.
“I don’t really care if the person reading this is a boy or a girl, but for some reason picking sides seems to matter more now than ever.” – Rowan
The letters are Rowan’s way of processing what is going on in his own mind and around him. As he explores gender by signing with different names and pondering the way he feels about various students at his school – Rowan reveals that he has another secret. Clearly, he is dealing with sexual abuse at home.
The letters are very realistic, heart-felt and reflected the turmoil of living in a home in which there is little safety. I found the voice sometimes varied a bit… there were times when I felt that Rowan seemed much younger than 10 years old, but I suppose that could be a manifestation of spending so much time alone. It’s a minor issue.
I did feel that the 90s references in the book were a little overwhelming. Sometimes there were so many references that it pulled me out of the emotion of the novel.
This is a very important topic and I suspect that it will reach children right where they are. I don’t know that all young people will connect with Rowan as the letter-writing is something than a lot of young people won’t identify with. I do see how it would be a way of speaking when you feel as though you aren’t being heard. And, if there is any message in this book it’s that Rowan is desperately trying to say something, and no one is listening. show less
Rowan is ten years old and Rowan is a transgender boy. He doesn’t necessarily have the exact vocabulary to describe it, but he knows that he is different – special on days when he is feeling more charitable towards himself. “I’m not like other boys,” Rowan declares early in the novel and his is the beginning of the show more story.
His group of girlfriends have abandoned him and have begun the almost silent bullying that so often happens in middle school: laughing, pointing, exclusion. There’s Sophia… Rowan thinks that he and Sophia have a lot in common. Neither of them seems to “fit in” the way they feel the should. Together they have a tender and touching friendship. I was particularly touched by the way they would leave rocks on each other’s porches so that they knew they were each fine. It struck me as something that a young person would do… a way of existing and being noticed.
Because of the inner turmoil Rowan is dealing with he begins writing letters to an anonymous friend. Using his allowance Rowan buys balloons and ties the letters to them and sets them free. It’s a wonderful coping mechanism and a beautiful vehicle for the character’s thoughts.
“I don’t really care if the person reading this is a boy or a girl, but for some reason picking sides seems to matter more now than ever.” – Rowan
The letters are Rowan’s way of processing what is going on in his own mind and around him. As he explores gender by signing with different names and pondering the way he feels about various students at his school – Rowan reveals that he has another secret. Clearly, he is dealing with sexual abuse at home.
The letters are very realistic, heart-felt and reflected the turmoil of living in a home in which there is little safety. I found the voice sometimes varied a bit… there were times when I felt that Rowan seemed much younger than 10 years old, but I suppose that could be a manifestation of spending so much time alone. It’s a minor issue.
I did feel that the 90s references in the book were a little overwhelming. Sometimes there were so many references that it pulled me out of the emotion of the novel.
This is a very important topic and I suspect that it will reach children right where they are. I don’t know that all young people will connect with Rowan as the letter-writing is something than a lot of young people won’t identify with. I do see how it would be a way of speaking when you feel as though you aren’t being heard. And, if there is any message in this book it’s that Rowan is desperately trying to say something, and no one is listening. show less
Recommended by Amy H.
Told as a series of letters from 10-year-old Rowan Beck throughout his fifth-grade year of school, The Ship We Built has similarities to the YA novel The Perks of Being A Wallflower ("Dear Friend..."). Rowan writes questioning, diary-style letters and attaches them to balloons that he releases into the sky.
Through the letters, it becomes clear that Rowan's home life is awful: his dad comes into his room at night, and while there are no details, it's pretty clear it's an abuse/incest situation. At school, Rowan's old friends have pulled away, but Rowan becomes friends with Sofie, who accepts Rowan for who he is (a trans boy, before either of them have the words for that; the book is set during the 1997-1998 school show more year, and is full of references to the Spice Girls and Backstreet Boys, best friend necklaces and friendship bracelets, and fruit-by-the-foot and gushers).
Rowan's last letter is somewhat hopeful; he has called a number his teacher left in his yearbook and is considering telling his mom what his dad has been doing. An epilogue is a letter from another quiet classmate, who found one of Rowan's letters and responded with one of his own.
Painfully intimate.
Quotes
How am I supposed to walk into a room with confidence if nobody wants me there? (7)
Do you ever have to cover something that you don't want to? (61)
Do you ever lie? I think I probably lie more to myself than to anybody. (120)
I don't know. To be honest, neither the boy nor the girl option is feeling very good right now. Aren't there other things to choose from? (180)
I am sick of people telling me I am bad when I feel good and telling me I am good when I feel bad. (188)
I'm starting to think that maybe kids aren't supposed to be treated like the way I get treated sometimes. (215)
Are there things that keep you from asking what you want to? (245) show less
Told as a series of letters from 10-year-old Rowan Beck throughout his fifth-grade year of school, The Ship We Built has similarities to the YA novel The Perks of Being A Wallflower ("Dear Friend..."). Rowan writes questioning, diary-style letters and attaches them to balloons that he releases into the sky.
Through the letters, it becomes clear that Rowan's home life is awful: his dad comes into his room at night, and while there are no details, it's pretty clear it's an abuse/incest situation. At school, Rowan's old friends have pulled away, but Rowan becomes friends with Sofie, who accepts Rowan for who he is (a trans boy, before either of them have the words for that; the book is set during the 1997-1998 school show more year, and is full of references to the Spice Girls and Backstreet Boys, best friend necklaces and friendship bracelets, and fruit-by-the-foot and gushers).
Rowan's last letter is somewhat hopeful; he has called a number his teacher left in his yearbook and is considering telling his mom what his dad has been doing. An epilogue is a letter from another quiet classmate, who found one of Rowan's letters and responded with one of his own.
Painfully intimate.
Quotes
How am I supposed to walk into a room with confidence if nobody wants me there? (7)
Do you ever have to cover something that you don't want to? (61)
Do you ever lie? I think I probably lie more to myself than to anybody. (120)
I don't know. To be honest, neither the boy nor the girl option is feeling very good right now. Aren't there other things to choose from? (180)
I am sick of people telling me I am bad when I feel good and telling me I am good when I feel bad. (188)
I'm starting to think that maybe kids aren't supposed to be treated like the way I get treated sometimes. (215)
Are there things that keep you from asking what you want to? (245) show less
I want to preface my review by saying… I am going to refer to the main character as Rowan Beck. Rowan is a 10-year-old transgender boy. While another name is used to identify Rowan in the book, and other pronouns I am going to use Rowan’s name and the pronoun he. That’s what seems right to me, but I apologize if I have confused anyone or done it wrong. That just seems right to me! Now! On to the review.
Rowan is ten years old and Rowan is a transgender boy. He doesn’t necessarily have the exact vocabulary to describe it, but he knows that he is different – special on days when he is feeling more charitable towards himself. “I’m not like other boys,” Rowan declares early in the novel and his is the beginning of the show more story.
His group of girlfriends have abandoned him and have begun the almost silent bullying that so often happens in middle school: laughing, pointing, exclusion. There’s Sophia… Rowan thinks that he and Sophia have a lot in common. Neither of them seems to “fit in” the way they feel the should. Together they have a tender and touching friendship. I was particularly touched by the way they would leave rocks on each other’s porches so that they knew they were each fine. It struck me as something that a young person would do… a way of existing and being noticed.
Because of the inner turmoil Rowan is dealing with he begins writing letters to an anonymous friend. Using his allowance Rowan buys balloons and ties the letters to them and sets them free. It’s a wonderful coping mechanism and a beautiful vehicle for the character’s thoughts.
“I don’t really care if the person reading this is a boy or a girl, but for some reason picking sides seems to matter more now than ever.” – Rowan
The letters are Rowan’s way of processing what is going on in his own mind and around him. As he explores gender by signing with different names and pondering the way he feels about various students at his school – Rowan reveals that he has another secret. Clearly, he is dealing with sexual abuse at home.
The letters are very realistic, heart-felt and reflected the turmoil of living in a home in which there is little safety. I found the voice sometimes varied a bit… there were times when I felt that Rowan seemed much younger than 10 years old, but I suppose that could be a manifestation of spending so much time alone. It’s a minor issue.
I did feel that the 90s references in the book were a little overwhelming. Sometimes there were so many references that it pulled me out of the emotion of the novel.
This is a very important topic and I suspect that it will reach children right where they are. I don’t know that all young people will connect with Rowan as the letter-writing is something than a lot of young people won’t identify with. I do see how it would be a way of speaking when you feel as though you aren’t being heard. And, if there is any message in this book it’s that Rowan is desperately trying to say something, and no one is listening. show less
Rowan is ten years old and Rowan is a transgender boy. He doesn’t necessarily have the exact vocabulary to describe it, but he knows that he is different – special on days when he is feeling more charitable towards himself. “I’m not like other boys,” Rowan declares early in the novel and his is the beginning of the show more story.
His group of girlfriends have abandoned him and have begun the almost silent bullying that so often happens in middle school: laughing, pointing, exclusion. There’s Sophia… Rowan thinks that he and Sophia have a lot in common. Neither of them seems to “fit in” the way they feel the should. Together they have a tender and touching friendship. I was particularly touched by the way they would leave rocks on each other’s porches so that they knew they were each fine. It struck me as something that a young person would do… a way of existing and being noticed.
Because of the inner turmoil Rowan is dealing with he begins writing letters to an anonymous friend. Using his allowance Rowan buys balloons and ties the letters to them and sets them free. It’s a wonderful coping mechanism and a beautiful vehicle for the character’s thoughts.
“I don’t really care if the person reading this is a boy or a girl, but for some reason picking sides seems to matter more now than ever.” – Rowan
The letters are Rowan’s way of processing what is going on in his own mind and around him. As he explores gender by signing with different names and pondering the way he feels about various students at his school – Rowan reveals that he has another secret. Clearly, he is dealing with sexual abuse at home.
The letters are very realistic, heart-felt and reflected the turmoil of living in a home in which there is little safety. I found the voice sometimes varied a bit… there were times when I felt that Rowan seemed much younger than 10 years old, but I suppose that could be a manifestation of spending so much time alone. It’s a minor issue.
I did feel that the 90s references in the book were a little overwhelming. Sometimes there were so many references that it pulled me out of the emotion of the novel.
This is a very important topic and I suspect that it will reach children right where they are. I don’t know that all young people will connect with Rowan as the letter-writing is something than a lot of young people won’t identify with. I do see how it would be a way of speaking when you feel as though you aren’t being heard. And, if there is any message in this book it’s that Rowan is desperately trying to say something, and no one is listening. show less
This book was beautiful and painful and sweet and sincere. It deals with some really hard topics, weaving them together with hope and powerful friendship. I rarely *feel* so deeply while reading. I wanted to respond to Rowan. I hope you read this book and feel it too.
Literary Merit: Great
Characterization: Great
Recommended: Yes
Level:Middle school
Comments: Lexie Bean created an incredible story that everyone should read.
Rowan is a 5th grader in the late 90s who is very lonely. Rowan writes letters and attaches them to a balloon as often as they can. Inside the letter’s Rowan confesses that he was born as a girl but he doesn’t believe he is a girl. Within the course of the letters Rowan switches between names when they sign the letter. The letters vary in topic. Topics include loneliness, sexual identity, sexual assault, sexual abuse, substance abuse, homophobia, and bullying.
Adults who work with youths should read this book. The section where Rowan’s teacher calls them by Rowan is show more important. You never know what a youth is going through and you could be the only adult in their life who is kind to them. show less
Characterization: Great
Recommended: Yes
Level:Middle school
Comments: Lexie Bean created an incredible story that everyone should read.
Rowan is a 5th grader in the late 90s who is very lonely. Rowan writes letters and attaches them to a balloon as often as they can. Inside the letter’s Rowan confesses that he was born as a girl but he doesn’t believe he is a girl. Within the course of the letters Rowan switches between names when they sign the letter. The letters vary in topic. Topics include loneliness, sexual identity, sexual assault, sexual abuse, substance abuse, homophobia, and bullying.
Adults who work with youths should read this book. The section where Rowan’s teacher calls them by Rowan is show more important. You never know what a youth is going through and you could be the only adult in their life who is kind to them. show less
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- 813.6 — Literature & rhetoric American literature in English American fiction in English 2000-
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- PZ7.1 .B427 .S — Language and Literature Fiction and juvenile belles lettres Fiction and juvenile belles lettres Juvenile belles lettres
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