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Older Sister. Not Necessarily Related.: A Memoir

by Jenny Heijun Wills, Jenny Heijun Wills

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312773,367 (4)2
Winner of the 2019 Hilary Weston Writers' Trust Prize for Nonfiction A beautiful and haunting memoir of kinship and culture rediscovered. Jenny Heijun Wills was born in Korea and adopted as an infant into a white family in small-town Canada. In her late twenties, she reconnected with her first family and returned to Seoul where she spent four months getting to know other adoptees, as well as her Korean mother, father, siblings, and extended family. At the guesthouse for transnational adoptees where she lived, alliances were troubled by violence and fraught with the trauma of separation and of cultural illiteracy. Unsurprisingly, heartbreakingly, Wills found that her nascent relationships with her family were similarly fraught. Ten years later, Wills sustains close ties with her Korean family. Her Korean parents and her younger sister attended her wedding in Montreal, and that same sister now lives in Canada. Remarkably, meeting Jenny caused her birth parents to reunite after having been estranged since her adoption. Little by little, Jenny Heijun Wills is learning and relearning her stories and those of her biological kin, piecing together a fragmented life into something resembling a whole. Delving into gender, class, racial, and ethnic complexities, as well as into the complex relationships between Korean women--sisters, mothers and daughters, grandmothers and grandchildren, aunts and nieces--Older Sister. Not Necessarily Related. describes in visceral, lyrical prose the painful ripple effects that follow a child's removal from a family, and the rewards that can flow from both struggle and forgiveness.… (more)
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This is an interesting memoir about cross-racial, cross-cultural, and cross-national adoption.

Heijun Wills was adopted from Korea by a white family in small-town Ontario, Canada. This memoir is her story of reconnecting with her birth parents and their families. It is the story she learns about why/how she ended up in an orphanage, her struggles with being part of a cross-racial adoption and growing up in a very white place, and her struggles with managing her new familial relationships.

She learned her story was not nearly so simple as she was raised to believe (or as her adoptive parents were led to believe). And she learns her birth family had issues, and in fact her birth parents got back together after she came back into their lives. She has two Korean sisters, one of whom she develops a strong sister/friend relationship with--and who helps her understand that the life she might have lived was not better or worse than the one she did live--it was just different, with some things better but some things definitely worse. Each is a bit jealous of what the other had while growing up. ( )
  Dreesie | Sep 24, 2023 |
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Author nameRoleType of authorWork?Status
Jenny Heijun Willsprimary authorall editionscalculated
Wills, Jenny Heijunmain authorall editionsconfirmed
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Winner of the 2019 Hilary Weston Writers' Trust Prize for Nonfiction A beautiful and haunting memoir of kinship and culture rediscovered. Jenny Heijun Wills was born in Korea and adopted as an infant into a white family in small-town Canada. In her late twenties, she reconnected with her first family and returned to Seoul where she spent four months getting to know other adoptees, as well as her Korean mother, father, siblings, and extended family. At the guesthouse for transnational adoptees where she lived, alliances were troubled by violence and fraught with the trauma of separation and of cultural illiteracy. Unsurprisingly, heartbreakingly, Wills found that her nascent relationships with her family were similarly fraught. Ten years later, Wills sustains close ties with her Korean family. Her Korean parents and her younger sister attended her wedding in Montreal, and that same sister now lives in Canada. Remarkably, meeting Jenny caused her birth parents to reunite after having been estranged since her adoption. Little by little, Jenny Heijun Wills is learning and relearning her stories and those of her biological kin, piecing together a fragmented life into something resembling a whole. Delving into gender, class, racial, and ethnic complexities, as well as into the complex relationships between Korean women--sisters, mothers and daughters, grandmothers and grandchildren, aunts and nieces--Older Sister. Not Necessarily Related. describes in visceral, lyrical prose the painful ripple effects that follow a child's removal from a family, and the rewards that can flow from both struggle and forgiveness.

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