Honoring Your Ancestors: A Guide to Ancestral Veneration

Who counts as an ancestor, and why should you talk to them? How does ancestry relate to family, to trauma, to animals and plants? Honoring Your Ancestors is a human and heartening guide to a very tricky subject, which will benefit anyone seeking a resource for genuine spiritual connections.

Conscious of religion, but not distracted by it, Mallorie Vaudoise provides useful approaches to connecting and working with ancestral spirits from a variety of perspectives.

Vaudoise moves easily between traditional contexts and her own anecdotes, balancing the practical and personal extremely well. She instills confidence in her advice right alongside a humble relatability that imparts of a sense of magic and ritual as natural, approachable rights show more belonging to all humans. Her skill in this is matched by few others.

In Chapter 1, Vaudoise mentions that restless ghosts, unlike ancestors, shouldn’t be strengthened with offerings or called upon for intercession. This is sound advice for the kind of spiritual systems this book provides—however, the very brief section on ghosts does gloss over the robust history of seeking out the restless dead to carry out magical operations. For the book's target audience, this is fair enough.

On the subject of spiritual hygiene, she mentions that foul odors are often considered attractive to evil spirits (like to like). While there are certainly many cases that underscore her point, there are also many customs that contradict this statement and could be mentioned here; such as the burning or wearing of sulfur, garlic, or asafoetida, to keep foul and dangerous spirits at bay.

Honoring Your Ancestors pulls from a colorful basket of magical and religious paths to provide concrete rituals and prayers one can use with ancestral spirits. Vaudoise is candid about her Italian-American Catholic touch points, but kindly provides many alternatives and permission to adapt her rituals as needed. One non-biblical variation of a prayer to the hyssop plant on page 113 (of my edition) struck me as particularly beautiful:

Mighty hyssop, forgiving hyssop, you
who have washed away so many mistakes:
please wash away the pain of what I
have done, for which I am truly sorry.
Guide me back to my true path,
the path where I am able to nourish the living
and bring honor to my ancestors.

This prayer is an effective charm: conjuring the precedence of hyssop’s expertise, honesty and sincerity from the speaker, and purposeful motivation for the work at hand.

This book is obviously focussed on ancestral veneration, however it simultaneously provides a workable and approachable template for any spiritual practice. I highly encourage anyone who moves through it to consider how they might adapt the advice and rituals from various sections to other kinds of spirit work and magic.

My book club and I performed a group version of the “Ritual to Reconnect with Your Ancestors” from Chapter 1, page 23. It was a powerful and sweet experience, which brought us closer as a group and also brought each of us into closer connection with our familial ancestors.

Anyone who is tentative (or passionate) about connecting with ancestral dead should absolutely turn to this book for useful tips, expert advice, and an enchanting read. show less

I really enjoyed this book. I've been wanting to engage more with ancestor veneration, but felt lost with how to start or what I should be doing. Researching online, and trying to find scraps on the topic in other books, wasn't really working for me. This book is an excellent introduction for a beginner, and I am looking forwards to introducing her ideas/teaching into my life and practice.

Definitely one of my favorite spiritual books to date.