The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them

This book is filled with very good and practical advice! Richo really hits some profound points... maybe it is the same very profound point again and again, that really to love is the way to a fulfilling life.

Richo takes a rather ecumenical approach here. Every religion can be interpreted or practiced in a rather childish or selfish way, or it can be practiced as a doorway to ultimate liberation and meaning. Maybe the religion that is most close to Richo's writing here is Buddhism. I have been studying and practicing Buddhism for decades so I didn't find much in this book that particularly rocked my world... it was mostly rather familiar. But still, he brings a rather fresh approach. The whole juggling of psychological maturity vs. show more spiritual maturity is tricky and Richo addressed this effectively.

One area where I though Richo got more theistic than a Buddhist like me is likely to be very comfortable with... he kept talking about evolution having a purpose or direction and a higher power embracing us, that sort of thing. It is certainly a tricky topic even in Buddhism, so trying to juggle this is still showing enough care that I never quite dismissed the discussion as utterly mistaken. And probably this kind of talk would be much more helpful to those coming from a theistic background, like Christians etc.

This juggling gets quite explicit at the end of the book, on the bottom of page 235: "Why things happen is ultimately a mystery. We cannot exactly say that everything happens for a purpose. However, making the best of what happens to us is the equivalent of a purpose."

For me, emptiness goes beyond impermanence to encompass paradox. The ground of things is emptiness, ok, but emptiness is not a ground. Emptiness is not a thing but more a quality that fulfills a role. Emptiness plays the role of ground without being some kind of underlying supporting thing. Ha, I am imagining some performance of a play, where all the actors behave as if there were one more actor on stage, but in fact that actor is just not there. Ha, like that movie Harvey with Jimmy Stewart! As I recall, we never see or hear Harvey. The equivalent of an actor? Yeah, OK! show less

I reread this whenever I need a reminder. David's insight is powerful, clear and poignant. I'm grateful for his books.

This is a self -help book on getting through life, written from a buddhist perspective, but in a broad manner that incorporates other religious traditions also. I found it to be very helpful to me and the issues that I am dealing with now (and which I should have been dealing with my whole life).

Everything changes and ends.
Things do not always go according to plan.
Life is not always fair.
Pain is part of life.
People are not loving and loyal all the time.
Say it isn't so David Richo!