The New One: Painfully True Stories from a Reluctant Dad

This was an absolute delight to listen to. I was drawn to this book based on the blurb and several conversations I've had with my girlfriends about why seemingly happy relationships implode after the first or second child. Our best theory has been that most men simply have no clue how much their wives will change after birth. Sterling K. Brown has actually talked about this publicly and I was excited to hear what Mike Birbiglia would have to say about it.

I wish more men would talk about how neglected and alone they feel after watching their wives form this deep bond with a new human, as they see nearly all of her focus go toward someone else. Men need to be better prepared! Birbiglia didn't want children because he knew it would change show more his life. His wife naively told him that their lives wouldn't change. I don't think Birbiglia really believed her. But still, I see women today make the same mistake. They fantasize about being a different mom, a cool mom, a hot mom, a totally chill person who doesn't lose any part of her identity to motherhood. But, a mom is a mom and no woman can know exactly who she'll be after she's been flooded with the hormones that come with birth.

It's a really hard transition and I do think it can be hard for men as well because they're not physically attached, they're not getting the hormone boost that refocuses a woman's attention. This book really explains how Birbiglia and his wife dealt with the transition with love and humor and honesty. His wife's poetry interspersed with all of Birbiglia's comedic writing is so beautiful as is her voice and in a way the back and forth between them is its own love story. Super beautiful book. I borrowed this on a whim from the library and am excited to pick up a physical copy for my bookshelves. ( show less

(17) With humor and honesty, Birbiglia unpacks how he traversed from bachelorhood to devoted I'll-be-your-spouse-but-never-a-parent and then into the awkward first months of bringing home a baby. While being honest about the challenges he faced entering fatherhood, particularly against a backdrop of his itinerant career and a lifetime of severe illnesses, he shows the gradual path from feeling like being his family's extra appendage to embracing parenthood wholeheartedly and with his trademark wit. Highly recommended.

The New One

I Picked Up This Book Because: I’ve enjoyed the author’s comedic works.

This is a work primarily about how life changes after you have a child. The journey this couple goes through from maybe we don’t want a family to we do want a kid to we have a kid, now what. It is very open, honest and relatable. Interspersed with poetry from Mike’s partner that is some of the most raw human emotions I’ve ever listened to. I’d recommend this to anyone ambivalent about having a child, anyone who doesn’t want a child and any parents whose baby doesn’t sleep. So, basically everyone.

Mike is also in love with his couch and his wife shows a maybe unhealthy obsession with fish.

The Random Thoughts:

4 Stars

If you know the comedy of Mike Birbiglia you know what to expect. There is nothing hidden from his personal life - his ailments, his foibles, his insecurities, etc. The book centers on he and his wife having a baby which earlier in life they decided not to do. His wife reinterpret this to mean that was not a permanent pledge - only till they were ready. That was not Mike's understanding. So the book chronicles the pregnancy, the birth and the first two years of their daughters life all from his honest, funny off the wall point of view.

Mike Birbiglia tells he experiences of fatherhood and his thoughts about it.

I found it refreshing that he acknowledges that he did not want to be a father and that he had problems connecting with his baby daughter. He tries but he has his own problems and feels lost as his wife enjoys her journey into motherhood. There are some humorous parts where I chuckled.

Sprinkled throughout his thoughts are his wife's poems that give her perspective to his stories. It is eye-opening to realize that she is aware of him as they go through parenthood. But he does learn and realized his life has changed as have his feelings.

Birbiglia, Mike. The New One: Painfully True Stories from a Reluctant Dad. digital. 5hrs 9mins. 2020. Hachette Audio. ISBN 9781549126994.

Comedian Mike Birbiglia, knocks it out of the ballpark with his second collection of humorous essays and insights. Instead of discussing his hilariously terrifying sleepwalking troubles (Sleepwalk with Me: and Other Painfully True Stories) he's graduated on to scarier topics... parenthood. The New One chronicles Mike and his wife, Jennifer's journey from: denial that they'll ever want kids of their own, grim acceptance when his wife decides that she actually does want a baby, to creating an entirely new lifestyle subject to their child Oona's needs. Peppered throughout the book are Jennifer Hope show more Stein's poetry about their daughter, their marriage, their fears, and their love. The poems go hand in hand with her husband's insights and help balance the story of their forays into parenthood. The stories are poignant, moving, and humorous. Fantastically narrated by both the authors, this is a book that all parents will easily relate to and laugh along with. A great gift for new (and old!) parents as well as comedy fans. A fantastic and engaging listen! - Erin Cataldi, Johnson Co. Public Library, Franklin, IN show less

If you are already a fan of Mike Birbiglia, then this is a must read. There are new stories that were not included in his special by the same name. The poetry by Jen, is a perfect compliment to Mike's genius. If you aren't familiar with Mike Birbiglia, you might want to start with Sleepwalk with Me, and really, you need to check out every special you can find on Youtube. He is incredibly poignant and talented and deserves your attention.