Your Competent Child: Toward New Basic Values for the Family

by Jesper Juul

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Jesper Juul argues that today's families are at an exciting crossroad. The authoritarian parenting style based on obedience, conformity, and physical and emotional violence that governed traditional hierarchical families is being transformed. In this international best-selling book Jesper Juul talks about embracing a new set of values, based on the assumption that families must be built not on authoritarian force or democratic tyranny but on dignity and reciprocity between parent and child. show more Children are competent to express their feelings from birth, and they are eager to co-operate as well as assume responsibility for their personal and social behavior. As parents we must work on listening to and learning from our children. When our children's behavior makes us feel less than valuable, then it is often because we are. show less

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Member Reviews

4 reviews
Piu' che bello, utilissimo. E' il racconto delle ingiustizie verbali e comportamentali che tutti i giorni vengono perpetrate ai danni dei nostri figli da parte dei genitori, maestri, adulti. E loro ci guardano e non possono capire perchè un un papà o una mamma possano essere cosi' ignobili. Quindi perdonano, introiettano, tacciono, pur volendo collaborare, vivere, essere sentiti e compresi come persone: piccole, ma persone. A differenza nostra, loro non sgridano con la veemenza e la nostra supponenza di un adulto, e
se prendono in giro lo fanno perchè sono arrabbiati, non per ferire o dire che siamo buoni a nulla. Purtroppo la storia del mondo è la storia del loro annichilimento, dal quale in futuro non potranno che crescere show more individui mediocri, come spesso tutti siamo, sprecando la meravigliosa occasione del vivere.
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Cosa salvare di queste quasi 200 pagine? Le frasi da non pensare, da non dire. Forse non si ricorderanno quelle da usare, ma meglio il silenzio che la stupidità cattiva.
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Et manifest for det gode samspil mellem barn og voksen, et forsvar for børns integritet, et fantastisk grundlag for et godt familieliv med respekt for både de små og de store.
If you're going to read any book about parenting, then this should be the one.
Der dänische Familientherapeut JESPER JUUL leitet seit 1979 The Kempler Institute of Scandinavia.
Seit Jahren genieße ich das Privileg, unterschiedliche Kulturen kennenzulernen und in ihnen zu arbeiten. Das hat mich davon überzeugt, daß die Entwicklung, die im Verhältnis zwischen Erwachsenen und Kindern in den skandinavischen Ländern stattgefunden hat, in wichtigen Teilen als Modell für die Entwicklung in anderen Ländern dienen wird.
Dieses Buch soll unter anderem klarmachen, daß das allermeiste dessen, was wir traditionell unter Erziehung verstehen, sowohl überflüssig als auch direkt schädlich ist, denn es ist nicht nur ungesund für Kinder, sondern blockiert auch das menschliche Heranreifen und die Entwicklung der show more Erwachsenen, und letztlich wird die Interaktion zwischen Kindern und Erwachsenen destruktiv beeinflußt. So kommt ein Teufelskreis in Gang, der auch unser Verständnis von Kleinkindpädagogik; von Unterricht, Sozialpädagogik, von Therapie sowie Kinder- und Familienpolitik verdirbt.
Zum ersten Mal sind wir in der Lage, Möglichkeiten zu sehen, um echte Beziehungen auf der Ebene gleicher Würde zwischen Männern und Frauen und zwischen Erwachsenen und Kindern zu etablieren. In so großem Umfang ist das in der Geschichte der Menschheit bislang nie geschehen, sowohl wir als auch unsere Kinder und Enkelkinder sind wahrsten Sinn des Wortes dabei, Neuland zu erobern.
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Author Information

4+ Works 343 Members
Jesper Juul, born in Denmark in 1948, is a family therapist. He is the director of the Kempler Institute of Scandinavia, a center for family therapy, and Family Counseling International in Croatia. He divides his time between Copenhagen and Zagreb. (Bowker Author Biography)

Common Knowledge

Canonical title
Your Competent Child: Toward New Basic Values for the Family
Original title
Ditt kompetenta barn: på väg mot nya värderingar för familjen
Original publication date
1995

Classifications

Genres
Nonfiction, General Nonfiction
DDC/MDS
649.1TechnologyHome economics & family managementChild rearing; home care of people with illnesses and disabilities by family and friendsParenting
LCC
HV697 .J969Social sciencesSocial pathology. Social and public welfare. CriminologySocial pathology. Social and public welfare.Protection, assistance and reliefSpecial classesFamilies. Mothers. Widow's pensions
BISAC

Statistics

Members
214
Popularity
151,579
Reviews
4
Rating
(4.17)
Languages
9 — Danish, English, Finnish, German, Italian, Norwegian (Bokmål), Portuguese, Spanish, Swedish
Media
Paper, Audiobook, Ebook
ISBNs
34
ASINs
4