His Only Wife

Afi's mother is ecstatic! Fortune is surely smiling upon them, because the wealthy family of Elikem Ganyo has proposed marriage between him and Afi, though the two have never actually met. However, when Elikem doesn't even attend their own wedding in person (though this is not entirely outside of custom), Afi is sorely disappointed and has serious doubts about their future. Though the marriage will increase their social status and greatly improve their financial situation, and though Afi likes and is attracted to Elikem when she finally meets him in person, when she learns that his family has arranged the marriage solely to distract him from his live-in girlfriend she begins to wonder what she has gotten herself into.

This is both a show more heartbreaking and inspiring book. I appreciated how, though Afi is bound in some ways Ghanaian cultural constraints and expectations, neither is she afraid to speak up and act for herself, her dignity and her independence. This is the first book I've read by a Ghanaian author, and I very much recommend it.

I received this ARC via LibraryThing's Early Reviewers program. show less

I really enjoyed this book. Afi is easy to root for but not obnoxiously perfect. I felt a lot of empathy for most of the characters - including her husband and his mother. The relationships are complex and believable. It's a great book about boundaries - Muna's set up the dynamic with the family, but in the end Afi is true to her own. Evelyn is also a great character, doing her best within the bounds of her own boundaries and what society will allow her. The book asks us what we owe each other - mothers, uncles, and wives - but also what it takes to be true to ourselves.

I felt like I learned a lot about Ghana reading this book. I wasn't really familiar with their customs going in, and I found myself continually looking up Ghanian words, particularly for food. It was a very interesting look into a different culture, although it made me feel terrible for the protagonist, who marries into a rich family, not for love, but at the request of her future groom's family. Although he is in love with another woman, he has agreed to the marriage, and she has high hopes for getting the relationship to work. She is also coping with her move to a large city, and her enrollment in a fashion design school. Although this is a little unorthodox for a story beginning with the protagonist's marriage, it is primarily a show more heartfelt coming-of-age story. show less

It is never a good sign when the groom doesn’t show up for the wedding. In this Ghanaian update of the legend of Cupid and Psyche, small-time seamstress Afi enters into an arranged marriage by proxy with impossibly wealthy businessman Eli. His overbearing family, lead by domineering Aunty and ironically named Uncle Pious, hopes that having an official wife will lead Eli to drop his unacceptable Liberian girlfriend. But the family doesn't count on the strength of Eli's love for "that woman" Muna, or Afi's own ability to fight for what's important to her.

This short novel took a few chapters to grow on me, but I ended up enjoying the glimpse into the lives of affluent Ghanaians it provides. Highly recommended.

Afi lives in the small town of Ho in Ghana. When her mother's boss, "Aunty," proposes to Afi on her son Eli's behalf, Afi's family is elated that good fortune has come their way, but Eli doesn't even attend the wedding, and Afi doesn't see him for weeks, although she is installed in a luxurious flat in Accra. Afi longs for her husband to come so they can begin their life together, but in the meantime, she attends fashion school and dreams of setting up her own boutique. Over a couple of years, she realizes some truths about Eli's family and his other woman, and although she loves him, she insists on a divorce when she accepts that she will never be his only wife.

Quotes

It wasn't easy being the key to other people's happiness, their show more victory, and their vindication. (4)

"Not everyone who smiles with you wishes you well." (32)

How in the world was I going to turn things around when I wasn't even being given the chance? (94)

If there was one thing I agreed with my mother on, it was that one could never be sure about a person's intentions, no matter how kind that person seemed. (107)

Everyone knows that a person is nothing without family.... (121)

This tendency of his not to allow me to be a woman, to be a wife, was troubling. (132)

"Why should I listen to you? Do you ever listen to me?" (220)

"When you dismiss my pain and suffering as unreasonable. When you refuse even for a minute to empathize with me. How would you feel if I cheated on you?" (267)

"Why can't you just admit that your brother was with a woman that none of you liked and so you tried to use me to get him to leave her....There's nothing wrong with her! She's a woman who you don't like because she does as she pleases and doesn't dance to your tune." (271)

"Afi, you are not weak....It takes strength to walk away from someone you love. You were brave to say that you didn't want to be miserable..." (276) show less

At the beginning of His Only Wife, Afi leaves her village in Ghana, and moves to an upscale apartment in the capital… after an arranged marriage and a wedding by proxy. Her new home is just one of her new husband’s many luxury properties, and not the place where he actually lives. She’s constantly reminded by her mother and mother-in-law that her purpose is to pull her new husband away from his unsuitable girlfriend, using home cooking and seduction.

Almost every aspect of Ghanaian life was new to me, but that was part of what pulled me into this story. There’s such a wild contrast between Eli and his family, with an almost ridiculous level of wealth and waste, and the village where Afi grew up, sharing a room with her mother, show more aunt, and cousins. Both were equally foreign to me. Almost immediately after the wedding, Eli sends Afi to design school, in one of his many cars, with an on-call driver, promises her a boutique after she graduates and starts her own fashion line, and constantly gives her presents of cash. But, there’s still his other woman.

The other part that drew me in was Afi herself, a wonderfully complex and evolving character. You really see her develop and change over the course of the story.

I spent most of His Only Wife wondering how it could possibly resolve. At times, Afi and Eli seemed completely in love, and his other woman seemed like just the inconvenient mother of his first child. But at other times, I worried that Afi was being manipulated and used by her in-laws, especially her mother-in-law, who seemed to think that their wealth gave them complete power over a village girl. show less

"It's wasn't easy being the key to other people's happiness, their victory, and their vindication."

I read His Only Wife by Peace Adzo Medie for #EmpireStateBookClub and I can't wait to discuss it tomorrow in person. This one had me completely stressed the while time. Certain characters had me wanting to scream and ready to throw hands. There were so many moments where I rolled my eyes so hard because of things that were happening in the story.

I feel like Afi was bamboozled from the start and she wasn't left with too many options. Her story gave me some perspective about women in Ghanaian society. Many, because of their social class, are left with no choice but to enter into loveless marriages in hopes of taking care of their own show more families. Patriarchal rules and expectations determine how they should act and what they are allowed to do. Men can basically have their cake and eat it too but women are expected to follow certain standards and accept poor treatment from their husbands, especially if they're rich.

It was interesting to see in this story how the power of patriarchy is often upheld by women, more often women of wealth. They excuse the bad behavior of men and force other women to comply as well. They uphold the societal norms that silence women's voices. Because of financial problems, many are forced into situations they would normally avoid. I loved Evelyn and Muna because they were willing to speak out and did not tolerate much nonsense. Their situations weren't ideal but they didn't bend to every whim presented. I was so stressed for Afi because at times her naivete showed and she kept hoping people were being honest. She longed for her fairytale ending but I was happy to see that she finally put her foot down and didn't engage in blaming the other woman when the truth was finally revealed.

The writing was immersive and I breezed through this one. The messiness kept me going. I do wish there was more depth and exploration into some of the side characters that were introduced. I think it would've added more layers to the story. The ending wrapped up quickly but it leaves so many questions unanswered. Overall, this was a satisfying read. show less