The How: Notes on the Great Work of Meeting Yourself

"Somewhere, somehow, we have grown afraid. Again. But nothing is lost. We'll return (we have done this before, of course). To be human is to remember and forget, and repeat."

Yrsa Daley-Ward offers up a deeply refreshing work in "The How" as she guides the reader through the journey of dismantling old ideas about the self and the work one is doing, as well as a variety of exercises on how one can restructure their thought process in a more loving, constructive, and rewarding way. The chapters are fairly short, and touch on a variety of topics, from the illusions of milestones to the importance of dreaming, but that doesn't make them any less full of meaning. Rather, each chapter or poem weaves effortlessly into the next and creates this show more ongoing narrative that prompts the reader to reconsider a variety of aspects in their life in a way that makes in seem like you're having a conversation with a very wise old friend.

While the topics of what Daley-Ward discusses are nothing brand new, it is the WAY she talks about them that makes this book the incredible thing that it is. I've read these topics of self-love and setting daily intentions and dealing with loneliness a hundred times before, yet none have quite captured the raw heart and honesty that she has. She doesn't claim to have answers for fixing things, or a particular ideology one must subscribe to; rather, Daley-Ward prompts the reader to reflect and study what has happened, what is happening, and what we want to happen all in various lights in order that we might better learn on how to create a better self.

For example, in her chapter on loneliness she writes, "If what you want is to not be lonely, then lonely cannot be an identity that you create for yourself. It cannot be how you think of yourself." She goes on to make the reader think about what they want in that moment, and then ways they can immediately begin making that happen for themselves, mainly through a deconstruction of old thought patterns and practices and a focus on a more intimate, vibrant way of perceiving the self and world around us. It's an immensely hard-hitting yet easily accessible concept Daley-Ward has crafted! There's such a stunning balance of lyricism, introspection, and work that makes the whole book and its theories a standout.

I checked this out from the library but I'm absolutely buying my own copy in order to annotate and revisit in the future. It's a new favorite of mine, and one that I would highly recommend to anyone looking on ways to more deeply understand themselves. show less