Elizabeth Lesser

This book had me under its spell from the first page. The intersection of mythology, feminism and history is both powerful and infinitely unnerving.

Lesser writes with grace, humour and uncanny insight. She describes the lives of women—both internal and external—in such a compassionate and understanding way. Her storytelling skills are remarkable, as are her observations about the culture we live in.

It’s clear that a long history of misogyny impacts every aspect of our lives. Yet rather show more than simply pointing fingers, Lesser provides suggestions for creating a path forward—one that’s equitable and just, and considers both the male and female experiences as we move through the world. show less

This book was recommended to me by a dear friend who is a palliative care physician. It was recommended to her by a secular nun. These are the 2 threads that run consistently through this touching memoir: faith and medicine. Elizabeth Lesser's younger sister Maggie was diagnosed with bone marrow cancer in middle age. Liz turns out to be the perfect donor match. This isn't about her decision process -- there isn't any as she instantly agrees to do this for her sister. It's about the hope for show more healing -- not just body, but relationships, spirit and mind. "Hoping to give Maggie the best chance possible for a successful transplant, the sisters dig deep into the marrow of their relationship..." In many ways this is Liz's story as much as Maggie's as she recounts the work on her own side that she must do (mentally, spiritually) to make this happen. She includes some family history: 4 sisters total (Katy & Jo) with shifting alliances, somewhat liberal parents and definitely quirky and unconventional parenting in the 60s, growing up in Vermont. All these factors shaped them, and some of them need to be un-done and released. Liz is a former midwife and current leader at Omega Institute, a mind, body, spirit Center with a few locations around the world. If spirituality makes you uncomfortable, then this isn't the book for you, because it is such an essential part of the story. But it is written so well, almost poetic in the introspection it invites, that it doesn't ever feel preachy or new-agey. Clearly this is the approach that worked for Liz and Maggie and she is not proselytizing, but bearing witness. Though the transplant goes well, ultimately the cancer returns, so this also bears witness to Maggie's life and then her death. Very touching and hopeful despite the outcome. show less

You would think a 5 star rating would mean a perfect book for me, but this was not the case here. This book was a roller coaster for me. One sentence would jump off the page and speak directly to my mind or my heart. The very next sentence would make me feel defensive or argumentative. I think the important thing here is that every sentence engaged me on some level. I can't remember the last time I was so thoroughly connected to a text and I binged my way through this book. That justifies 5 show more stars for me. I would love to have a coffee with this author. show less

Sisters are special people. They share your history. They are part of good memories and bad. You share both love and strife, oftentimes dating back years and years. I can't even begin to imagine what it would feel like to be told that not only does your sister have cancer but that without a bone marrow transplant, she will die, and soon. But that is the devastating news Liz Lesser got from her sister Maggie and which she chronicles in her new memoir, Marrow: A Love Story.

Liz and Maggie show more hadn't always had an easy relationship but Liz was as devastated as anyone when the lymphoma that they all thought Maggie had beaten seven years earlier reoccurred. And with the aggressive recurrence, Maggie's only hope was a bone marrow transplant. Each of the three Lesser sisters was tested but it was Liz who was the perfect match. So began the journey of the sisters, a journey through cancer and its treatment but also a journey through love and soul searching, a journey to reconnect as sisters, and a journey to live life fully and intentionally. This memoir, although inspired by Maggie, is more of an examination of Liz's inner life and emotions. It is a combination memoir of both the reality of terminal illness and self-help with a lean towards mysticism. Once Maggie agrees to try the transplant, she and Liz look at healing their years of misunderstandings and resentments in preparation for the transplant, hoping that coming to a forgiving and healing place together emotionally, sharing acceptance and forgiveness, will allow the harvested stem cells to thrive in Maggie.

Lesser examines her own journey, her role in Maggie's life, and discusses ways in which to get to the marrow of life and love, weaving all of these together within the same chapters. There are some brief "field notes" of Maggie's from her journal but they are fairly infrequent. And really, the focus here is more Liz than Maggie. It is more about how she viewed her sister and their lifelong relationship than it was about losing this sister she came to understand and respect so much. This made the memoir less emotional than it might otherwise have been given the subject matter. The pieces about Maggie and about Lesser's growing up years were engaging and something to look forward to. The self-help portions were definitely less so for me and dwarfed the life and relationship the book was celebrating. Lesser's spiritual beliefs are evident here but by framing the narrative the way she does, the depth of emotional impact is minimized and depersonalized. The reader needed more of Maggie and what made her who she was, a sister Liz loved and upended her life for, a mother, a wife, a nurse, an artist, an actively dying person who could say that the year after her bone marrow transplant was the best year of her life, and so much more. It would be hard to write a memoir about losing a sister without it being about love and grief and this definitely has that but it also has life, Liz's life and the ways in which making the journey with Maggie changed her forever. Those who don't mind a rather large helping of self-help with their memoirs will really enjoy this a lot. show less