Pema Chödrön

I truly value this book. Chodron clarifies and redefines some of the main obstacles I've come to in trying to "understand" Buddhism, which mainly surround my perception of its seeming negativity. Perhaps it's because she's a woman (I've only read male Buddhist perspectives so far), maybe it's because she's an American (I've only read Asian Buddhist perspectives), or maybe it's because she's just a good writer. Either way, Chodron focuses more on the journey and less on the destination, which show more makes it great for those who find the ground has slipped from beneath them. I will always come back to this book.

*****

I can't tell you just how many times I've come back to this book over the years. Chodron gives me a loving kick in the pants every single time and reminds me to open myself up to every experience, no matter if it's the best or shittiest. show less

As I was brushing my teeth this morning after finishing this book, this line came into my head:

When I find myself of times of trouble, Pema Chodron calls to me, speaking words of wisdom: Let it be...

Corny, huh? Totally true. I read When Things Fall Apart over a year ago when I was going through a really rough time, and when I hit a serious road block nearly two months ago, I picked this'n up. In similar fashion with my reading habits of late, I only just finished this wonderful morsel. I show more won't be stashing it away on the old bookshelf just yet though. I've still got tough times to face, so it will stay right where it is on my nightstand.

At first I was totally repelled by the title in accordance with my instant aversion to anything sounding like a self-help book (perhaps that's too telling...) (I bristled before falling in love with Amy Hempel's Reasons to Live), but then I thought, "You know what? I do need help." And then, "Yeah, 'cause you know what? I am freaked the F*** out right now." I love her. She is the most accesible Buddhist author I've yet encountered. Her approach is realistic--even though I am still struggling with the craziness, I am slowly able to incorporate the exercises, acting on the moment.

Favorite line: "All too frequently we relate like timid birds who don't dare to leave the nest. Here we sit in a nest that's getting pretty smelly and that hasn't served its function for a very long time" (8). You heard it, folks. Smelly nest. show less

I can - and will - listen to Pema's teachings over and over. More than any other teacher in my life, she resonates with me, meets me where I am, and points toward the challenging yet gentle path of getting comfortable with life's many discomforts.

I first listened to this in 2015, I believe. My life was remarkably different then, and the past seven years have brought a lot of groundlessness to work with. So, I think I appreciated this audiobook - a mix of a brief teaching in front of show more students and an extended interview with Sounds True founder Tami Simon - even more the second time.

To be clear, this isn't about gaining the kind of confidence that Tony Robbins might coach you up on. This is about an innate inner wisdom that allows you to accept that life is always going to bring waves that are designed to knock you over. Your practice - meditation, sitting with those uncomfortable emotions, an acceptance that suffering is always a condition that is nearby - gives you the tools to work with those waves. They won't stop coming, but they don't have to knock you off your feet each time. You learn to stand, you learn to become a part of the ocean, and the spiritual seasickness can subside.

This is one of Pema's shorter offerings, and well worth a listen if you're looking for an entry point into her teachings. show less

I had multiple people recommend this book to me when I was hit with my cancer diagnosis during a global pandemic -- if that isn't a difficult time, I guess I don't know what is! Chödrön is an American Buddist nun and this book is a collection of talks she gave from 1987-1994. She calls on us to turn towards the difficulties in our lives, to use them as a path to wisdom and peace, and to break the habit of distracting ourselves when faced with suffering. She does this with a light touch, show more some helpful anecdotes and techniques, words from her Buddhist teachers, and often some humor. I particularly liked the technique of Tonglen -- using the breath to take in pain, and let out feelings of healing and peace, starting with your own and extending out to others (https://www.lionsroar.com/how-to-practice-tonglen/). The chapters are short and rich and I did a lot of marking passages that I know I'll come back to again and again when I need a little perspective.

I have been working to incorporate meditation into my daily life for about six months, and doing a lot more reading about the mind and both Buddhist and non-Buddhist approaches to non-dualism and nonattachment. A lot of it is clicking for me and truly is helping with my mental health. I am, however, always a little concerned about appropriating a culture and religion that isn't my own and sometimes struggle with finding ways to use the techniques of this rich cultural and spiritual tradition that are respectful and honest. Basically I don't want to be all white mindfulness convert lady with this stuff, because I think there is way more here than can be condensed into a motivational phrase or comforting instagram story.

I'm still trying to figure that out, and I'll continue to explore what is out there and what works for me. I'm glad that this text can be part of my journey and I'll definitely be pulling Chödrön off my shelf again in the future. show less