Here If You Need Me: A True Story

This book is a gem! It is sad, it is poignant, it is heartwarming, it is spiritual in a deep abiding way without the trappings of New Age mantras and without the heavy handed preachy manner of well-intended, but misguided organized religion.

Kate Braestrup blesses the reader by allowing them to walk with her on the journey beginning with the day her beloved state trouper husband was tragically killed in an auto accident, leaving her and four children to grieve, to find lessons and to move forward in life.

As her life dramatically changed, Kate became a Maine Game Warden Service Chaplain and a Unitarian-Universalist minister. Through wonderful, crisp, heart felt writing, Braestrup takes us with her into the lives of those who rescue, who show more search the cold woods, frozen lakes and Maine environment to find those lost as she ministers to the families, to the brave people who help and to simply be there both when the outcome is good and when the hoped for result does not occur.

The prevailing theme of loss is woven with the abundant hope of gain, of falling down and of getting up, and, of searching and sometimes finding what is least expected. show less

This book was a quick read and just what I needed. This book reminded me of my work as a doula, how most of it was just being there while my clients' worlds changed completely.

A bit that I loved:

"I am a transitional love object, an objet d'amour...what a strange privilege to be so used.

The lieutenant will muse, as we drive south together, 'It's like standing right on the hinge of someone's life. You know? Right there on the hinge, while the whole world swings around, and that widow, or that mother or dad's life is suddenly completely different, permanently different.'" (p 96-97)

As I read about Braestrup embracing and physically bracing people in joy or grief depending on the news she had to deliver, I think of the time a laboring show more mother put her arms around my neck and used my body to support her weight through a contraction. We danced there together, shifting our weight from foot to foot, and I felt blessed to dance with her on the hinge of her life.

Now I need to write a thank-you note to the friend who handed this book directly to me at the church Book Sale instead of putting it in the "Memoirs" section to sell.

The only complaint I have with this book is the three typos I found in the last chapter, which made for a clunky ending to an otherwise exquisite book.

One more line that I love, which refers to a detective and breastfeeding mother who solved a homicide:

"If we were a sensible culture, little girls would play with Anna Love action figures, badge in one hand, breast pump in the other."(p 177)

Indeed. show less

Kate Braestrup has written a fine memoir of her path to becoming the Chaplain of the Maine State Warden Service (the game wardens). A Unitarian Universalist, Braestrup went to seminary after her Maine State Trooper husband was killed in a car crash. At first she said she was fulfilling his dream because he could not, but she soon realized that she had found her calling. With earthy humor and deep empathy in equal portions, Braestrup tells what it's like to be on the scene at search and rescue operations, both when the rescue is successful and when it isn't. She also shows a deep love and respect for her brothers and sisters in law enforcement. When this book came out, of course it was widely publicized here in Maine, but it's not just a show more "Maine book," a "clergy" book, or a "widow's" book. It's a human book, and almost anyone would be better off for reading it. show less

I honestly did not want this book to end. I think that is because each story put me in contact with love. The book is packed with love. There is intense sorrow and joy and lots of humor. Braestrup writes descriptions that seem to bring me right into the scenes with many surprising bit that are exactly how things really are, but are just not expected to be seen in writing. She has experienced a lot that is so interesting and meaningful. She writes these stories so incredibly well. She puts things together making a whole of all the parts. She seems to have a habit of looking for the love in situations and she shares that in this book in such a wonderfully readable and understandable way. I'll read this one again for sure.

This is classified as a memoir, and I guess it technically is, but I found it to be more a meditation on faith, love, community, and death. As the chaplain for Maine's game wardens, Braestrup sees plenty of all four as she sits with families waiting to hear of their loved one's fate, assists people through the grieving process, and counsels wardens through days both dull and catastrophic. In particular, her concept of eternity--that there may be no heaven or hell other than how we create our memory on earth--is something that will stick with me. This is beautifully written, with a lot of good, gentle, grounded wisdom in it.

I opened this book hoping to receive some insights into grief and mourning. I did receive those, but the book is not overwhelmingly about the author's mourning or grief. It's about her renewal and contains some wonderful stories of deep humanity. Very readable and charming.

Kate Braestrup, one of the first chaplains ever appointed to the Maine Warden Service, only became a chaplain after her husband, a Maine state trooper, was killed in a freak auto accident.  It had been his intention to become a Unitarian Universalist chaplain when he retired from active police work, so following his dream, she enrolled in Bangor Theological Seminary, and was eventually ordained to the ministry.

Her exquisitely written memoir entwines a portrait of widowhood with the story of the Maine Warden service and presents the reader with a hopeful, vibrant, and uplifting story.  Using altered names and locations, she relates stories of searches for missing persons-both young and old; rescues and recoveries of those trapped below show more the ice or lost in the vast Maine wilderness; and heart-wrenching scenes of notify next-of-kin about deaths.  Throughout, she weaves stories of helping her four young children progress to young adulthood.  The story of learning that her son could play drums, and hearing him in the band at school, was such a delight--any mother who has ever raised a teenager through the band phase of life will be able to relate easily.

Her explanations and stories about the Maine warden service are exceptionally informative.  Many people don't realize that Maine game wardens have law enforcement duties in addition to tending to Maine's gorgeous wildlife and scenery.  The image of this petite woman with her clerical collar and keflar vest under her LL Bean jacket brought a giant smile.

She offers her insights not only from the perspective of  "chaplain" but from that of wife, mother, friend, and member of the law enforcement community.  It is not a long book, but it is one to be re-read and savored.  It brings hope with the tears, soothing with anxiety....just what one would expect from a chaplain. show less