The Dead Travel Fast: Stalking Vampires from Nosferatu to Count Chocula

In his “Ridiculously Unnecessary Author’s Note,” Eric Nuzum makes sure the reader understands that although the events are real, some scenes are composite scenes; however, these composites do not change the basic facts. He also changes the names of real people and alters a few facts about these people so they won’t be embarrassed. Nuzum does make it perfectly clear that:

"This is not a James Frey thing, I do not claim to have spent time in jail, saved drowning kittens, prevented a revolution, or whatever.

"It is what it is."

The Dead Travel Fast simply is one of the most refreshing and hilarious books on vampires and vampire lore that I’ve read in some time. What began as a desire to write a history of the vampire soon turns into show more a quest to experience the vampire in all its cultural forms. Nuzum examines the vampire movement from top to bottom, juxtaposing fact with humor to look at why we are so fascinated by the vampire.

Nuzum informs the reader of the making of the novel Dracula and intersperses history with one of the most entertaining travelogues I’ve read in years. If you read nothing else, you must read the chapter entitled “I Don’t Believe in God: The Crucifix is to Keep Away Vampires” where the author travels to the land of the vampire and along the way deals with dog attacks, floods, possible amputation, and running out of hand sanitizer. Nuzum goes to Transylvania on a Dracula-themed tour with some unpredictable results.

It’s not all fun and games; Nuzum knows when to get serious as he chronicles vampire-themed murders across the globe. As the outsider looking in, he assesses the Goths who feel empowered by the vampire lifestyle they seek to emulate. Nuzum attends Goth clubs, Buffy the Vampire marathons, and haunted houses in his quest for what it means to be a vampire.

Check out the undead and the company they keep. show less

I am extremely jealous of Eric Nuzum. I would love to go on the hunt for a “real” vampire and get paid to read, write, travel to Transylvania, and watch movies while doing it. This non-fiction novel follows the author in his quest to explore all things vampiric, leading him to drink his own blood and watch every vampire movie ever made. The author is smart, witty, and if at all possible, makes me love the vampire mythos even more.

It is purely due to the relatively low page count that I did not DNF this book.

Think back to your freshman English Lit course in college. Do you remember that one guy that sat two rows from the back, against the wall. He claimed Tom Waits was his favorite and he wore a leather jacket, but only one that he thrifted and he made sure you knew it was thrifted because he would never put money in the leather trade. He always brought a book to class that wasn't anything the class was reading. It was probably Heart of Darkness or Albert Camus or his "comfort copy" of Catcher in the Rye. He definitely thought he was leagues smarter than everyone else in the class and it was downright embarassing that the rest of the trash around him dared show more express themselves and their interests at all. He sneered and guffawed at everyone'e answers, ESPECIALLY women who dared to have an opinion about literature.

Reading this book felt like having to listen to that asshole for 5 hours. Mind-numbingly, jaw-crackingly, skin-crawlingly uncomfortable. Wanting to cut him off and tell him he's an asshole, but it's a book that was published 14 years ago so you just have to keep listening to him and hating every second of it. show less

I went back and forth a bit between enjoying this book and really, really hating the author. He doesn't have a real interest in vampires and seems to just enjoy making fun of anyone who does like them. I would suggest Sundays with Vlad. That said, I did enjoy some of the book, had a few chuckles and really want to eat some Count Chockula now.

About: Nuzum explores the history and pop culture phenomenon of vampires by reading vampire books, watching vampire movies (216 of them), going on vampire tours and meeting with folks who consider themselves vampires.

Pros: While this book could have easily been a dry, academic tome about the vampire's place in culture - Nuzum thankfully takes a "hands on" approach. His tales of trying to become a vampire, watching awful vampire movies and meeting very odd vampire-esque folds are hilarious. The writing is engaging, funny and entertaining throughout. His research into vampire lore appears solid as well.

Cons: He mentions that during his research he found many falsehoods and inconsistencies surrounding the history and people involved in the show more legend of vampires, so a bibliography or endnotes would have been nice.

Grade: A- show less

Interesting concept with very funny moments, yet sort of loses momentum at the end. Also, the author has some great insight at times, yet glosses over certain topics which would have been interesting if touched upon more. At times, his views and judgments (or lack of) were rather annoying. Still, none of this detracts from how entertaining the book is and overall is rather intriguing with some interesting insight on why vampires are so prominent in various cultures.

Fun read, gave me great snippets for cocktail party conversations. From the Stoker-Nosferatu lawsuit to the working conditions for haunted house workers--it's all here, and well written, too.