Nobody's Mother: Life Without Kids

3.5 stars

This is a book of essays by women, mostly writers in some way (journalists, authors), who don’t have biological children. The majority of the women are Canadian. Some of them have stepkids. Some of these woman chose not to have kids and others wanted them, but circumstances led them to not have kids of their own.

I don’t have kids; I never wanted kids, so of course, this was the appeal for me. It didn’t occur to me until I started reading that it wasn’t by choice for all of them. But it was interesting to read all the reasons and circumstances that brought these women to this point. Even the ones who wanted kids, it seems, mostly came to the conclusion that they are ok without them, and there were some benefits to not show more having kids. Even those who chose not to have kids – most of them seem to like kids (I do not until they are older); many of these women also teach, so they interact with kids in that capacity. Interesting perspectives, anyway. show less

In spite of the back cover promising a variety of stories about women who decided to not have children, I found the essays in many ways repetitive. For example. so many of the authors seem to be teaching academics, who "parent their communities". I would have liked to have seen a story from a woman who wanted to but couldn't, and fewer from women who preached about the environmental costs of spawning children. There were two or three essays that stood out for me, but the body of work as a whole was too similar to give me a comprehensive picture of what it is like for the average woman who doesn't have children.

In this book I have met some truly beautiful souls (esp. Lynne van Luven, and others who were -- quite frankly -- very impoverished souls.
Had I read this book earlier I might have been grinding my teeth, but oddly today I find some comfort & peace in these essays. I too KNEW I'd be the best Mum in the universe because of the way the neighbours' kids & I interacted. It didn't turn out that way. So writers, you can live your imaginary motherhood in glowing golden starlight, just as I used to live my imaginary freedoms this way. For me, it all comes down to knowing that for all my days I would rather have been outside with my nose pressed longingly to the window of the potential career & freedoms than to the window of children & family. show more That being said, I know I took the most difficult path and I'd never have the guts or even the desire to make the same choice again. But then the nose pressed against the window of what you haven't got ... rationalization & heartache either way. show less

I was hesitant, but ended up really liking this short anthology of women who do not have children.