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We Were Once a Family: A Story of Love, Death, and Child Removal in America

by Roxanna Asgarian

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12210224,721 (4.04)4
Family & Relationships. Law. True Crime. Nonfiction. HTML:

One of Literary Hub's most anticipated books of 2023

The shocking, deeply reported story of a murder-suicide that claimed the lives of six childrenâ??and a searing indictment of the American foster care system.
On March 26, 2018, rescue workers discovered a crumpled SUV and the bodies of two women and several children at the bottom of a cliff beside the Pacific Coast Highway. Investigators soon concluded that the crash was a murder-suicide, but there was more to the story: Jennifer and Sarah Hart, it turned out, were a white married couple who had adopted the six Black children from two different Texas families in 2006 and 2008. Behind the family's loving facade, however, was a pattern of abuse and neglect that went ignored as the couple withdrew the children from school and moved across the country. It soon became apparent that the State of Texas knew very little about the two individuals to whom it had given custody of six childrenâ??with fateful consequences.
In the manner of Adrian Nicole LeBlanc's Random Family and other classic works of investigative journalism, Roxanna Asgarian's We Were Once a Family is a revelation of vulnerable lives; it is also a shattering exposé of the foster care and adoption systems that produced this tragedy. As a journalist in Houston, Asgarian became the first reporter to put the children's birth families at the center of the story. We follow the author as she runs up against the intransigence of a state agency that removes tens of thousands of kids from homes each year in the name of child welfare, while often failing to consider alternatives. Her reporting uncovers persistent racial biases and corruption as children of color are separated from birth parents without proper cause. The result is a riveting narrative and a deeply reported indictment of a system that continues to fail America's most vulnerable children while upending the lives of their families.
A Macmillan Audio production from Farrar, Straus and Giroux.<
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» See also 4 mentions

Showing 1-5 of 10 (next | show all)
Five-star journalism. Picked this up to better understand some of the intergenerational trauma in my family that in-part stems from the foster system. Eye-opening and disturbing yet tender. Humanizes and centers the birth families. ( )
  stitchcastermage | Apr 26, 2024 |
There were so many mistakes made in the care of these children. The safeguards that should protect them were not responsive. While the CPS system took away the rights of the birth families, the abuse of adoptive families seems to have been minimized. This led to a terrible tragedy. The system should try to help birth families stay together, even if it means finding relatives to care for children if mothers and fathers are not able.
My problem with the book is that the author became too personally involved in the story and I think it affected her objectivity. ( )
  Chrissylou62 | Apr 11, 2024 |
An excellent look at how broken and racist America’s child welfare system is. I love that the author focused so much attention on the birth mothers of the Hart adoptees. It just bogged down in statistics and data too often. ( )
  gonzocc | Mar 31, 2024 |
hands down one of the best things i've read this year. the storytelling, the research, the writing, it is all incredibly good. Roxanna Asgarian thoughtfully investigates who the Hart children were and how many governmental systems failed them. this story is heartbreaking and not easy to read but it is worthy of your time and attention. this book is so much more than a true crime story, Asgarian's research dives deep into the flaws of the US adoption system, educational systems, child protective services and other entities that allowed such a horrific and tragic event to happen. this book broke my heart. the research was well done and it balanced nicely with good storytelling. the Hart kids and their families deserved better and Asgarian writes factually, but with sincerity and care ( )
  Ellen-Simon | Dec 21, 2023 |
"The Hart family story complicates popular narratives about abuse and the role of CPS in protecting children from it. The children's birth families were not beating their children or starving them; they were clearly struggling with substance use and mental illness, but instead of receiving help, the parents were punished. On the other hand, authorities consistently projected a halo of goodness onto the adoptive mothers, throughout a decade of abuse allegations, and even after the murder of their children with cops and other officials bending over backwards to interpret their actions in the kindest possible light."

Several years ago a lesbian couple, Sarah and Jennifer Hart, drove their car off the cliffs of Northern California into the ocean with their 6 adopted children. They and all 6 children died. In this book, the author investigates the foster care system and removals of children from their birth homes through the lens of this tragedy.

Not surprisingly, she found that the children removed from their homes are disproportionately black or biracial and overwhelmingly poor. The homes they go to are often white. During the process, the families they are taken from are stigmatized, given few chances and little help or assistance, whereas the families they go to are given every benefit of the doubt. For instance, in the Hart case, before the second set of three children was placed with them for adoption, Sarah had already been found to have physically abused one of the three children they already had adopted.

I found the book to be eye-opening and very sad. The first set of three children adopted by the Harts were initially taken from their mother when she failed to get medical help for one of them. However, she was in the process of trying to get transportation to the hospital and had no ride. The second set were taken from their mother who had a substance abuse problem. When she wasn't using, she was a loving mother. They were initially placed with their aunt for adoption by their aunt, and were not supposed to have unsupervised visits with their mother. However, one day when child-care fell through, and the aunt would lose her job if she didn't go to work, the mother was left in charge of the children for a short while. Unfortunately CPS showed up, found the children alone with their mother and immediately removed them. Despite desperate efforts in the courts and administratively to get the children back with their actual family, they were sent from Houston their home to the Harts in Chicago. In both these cases, so many issues, so much trauma, and probably the deaths of the children could have been avoided had CPS acted more reasonably--how about helping these desperately poor mothers/caregivers with childcare assistance, better and more accessible healthcare (a ride to the doctor?), or just let the moms know they're there to help, not to punish.

This was excellent, informative, detailed and well-written.

4 stars ( )
  arubabookwoman | Sep 9, 2023 |
Showing 1-5 of 10 (next | show all)
Emotional and frequently enraging, it adds up to a blistering indictment of a system where, in the words of one reform advocate, "we've lost key concepts like humanity, dignity." Throughout Asgarian makes clear that the endemic failures that led to this shocking tragedy continue to affect countless families caught up in the child welfare system. Sensitive, impassioned, and eye-opening, this is a must read.
added by Lemeritus | editPublisher's Weekly (Jan 9, 0203)
 
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For my son, Rocco /

And in memory of Markus, Hannah, Abigail, Devonte, Jeremiah, and Ciera
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People come to this place for its sweeping views. Alongside the Pacific Coast Highway, the circular gravel turnoff sits just across from a small bridge over the tiny Juan Creek, and from its edge you can see the rocky Northern California coastline, is cliffs dotted with native grasses and wild succulents. -Prologue, Mendocino County, March 2018
It was a mild December day in Houston, and Dontay Davis had started a fight at school again. -Chapter 1, "Every Time I See You, You Take Me Away"
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Family & Relationships. Law. True Crime. Nonfiction. HTML:

One of Literary Hub's most anticipated books of 2023

The shocking, deeply reported story of a murder-suicide that claimed the lives of six childrenâ??and a searing indictment of the American foster care system.
On March 26, 2018, rescue workers discovered a crumpled SUV and the bodies of two women and several children at the bottom of a cliff beside the Pacific Coast Highway. Investigators soon concluded that the crash was a murder-suicide, but there was more to the story: Jennifer and Sarah Hart, it turned out, were a white married couple who had adopted the six Black children from two different Texas families in 2006 and 2008. Behind the family's loving facade, however, was a pattern of abuse and neglect that went ignored as the couple withdrew the children from school and moved across the country. It soon became apparent that the State of Texas knew very little about the two individuals to whom it had given custody of six childrenâ??with fateful consequences.
In the manner of Adrian Nicole LeBlanc's Random Family and other classic works of investigative journalism, Roxanna Asgarian's We Were Once a Family is a revelation of vulnerable lives; it is also a shattering exposé of the foster care and adoption systems that produced this tragedy. As a journalist in Houston, Asgarian became the first reporter to put the children's birth families at the center of the story. We follow the author as she runs up against the intransigence of a state agency that removes tens of thousands of kids from homes each year in the name of child welfare, while often failing to consider alternatives. Her reporting uncovers persistent racial biases and corruption as children of color are separated from birth parents without proper cause. The result is a riveting narrative and a deeply reported indictment of a system that continues to fail America's most vulnerable children while upending the lives of their families.
A Macmillan Audio production from Farrar, Straus and Giroux.

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