Murder Your Employer: The McMasters Guide to Homicide

In Murder Your Employer author Rupert Holmes takes delight in turning the murder mystery genre on its head while adding a dash of fantasy into the mix. Rather than a “whodunit” as most mystery stories are, this book follows aspiring murderers on their quest to succeed at their specific homicide with their chosen victims. We follow along as they work through their study of the craft of “deletion” at the McMasters Conservatory for the Applied Arts.

The McMasters Conservatory is, of course, the fantasy mixed into the book. Think Harry Potter’s Hogwarts, but rather than teaching young and gifted wizards, this institution is schooling those who aspire to murder. It’s hidden from the outside world with elaborate care. In fact, no show more one in the book seems to know for sure where the McMasters Conservatory actually is - not even what continent it’s on.

This story is told with a wicked sense of humor, and the audiobook really brings that humor to the fore.

The conceit behind the book is that the current dean of McMasters has decided that the time is right to share some of the wisdom of the Conservatory with the general public and so he is writing this book. He has gone into the records of the Conservatory and chosen a set of protagonists to help illustrate some of that wisdom. So, with the stage thus set, we dive into the 1950s (far enough in the past so as not to tell tales out of school (as it were) and endanger the lives of any living “deletists”).

We follow along with three students - Cliff, Gemma and Dulcie. Cliff is a bit of a clutz while still being a successful aeronautical engineer. He really wants to kill his louse of a boss and has very good reasons to - his boss is responsible for at least one suicide and several failed careers. But his plan is also a bit of a clutz and he fails in the attempt. He thinks he’s done the deed and made a clean escape when two “policemen” show up and inform him that he failed and should be arrested for attempted murder. But of course, things aren’t as they appear and the two “policemen” escort Cliff, with a bag over his head, through some indeterminable amount of travel and into the McMasters Conservatory.

Gemma has killed once before and now has good reason to do so again. Her boss is also a louse, as well as a thief and a blackmailer, and she has poor Gemma in her clutches. Gemma meets Cliff at McMasters where she is already studying to accomplish her goal.

Dulcie likewise arrived at McMasters before Cliff. A Hollywood actress, her career has peaked early. Her boss, the head of the studio where she is under contract, is a real creep who’s holding her back because she won’t “play the game” with him.

We follow the stories of these three through to their murderous (mostly) conclusions, and even a bit beyond. Loose ends are tied up and by the end our protagonists are naratively delivered to a place where they could easily feature in what I’m sure will be a sequel.

The narration of the book goes back and forth between the Dean of McMasters and excerpts from the writings in Cliff’s contemporaneous journals. Cliff has written these journal entries to his anonymous benefactor, who has secretly taken an interest in his intended murder and is paying his tuition at McMasters. In the audiobook Simon Vance provides the voice of the Dean (with an appropriately highbrow and middle-aged British accent), while Neal Patrick Harris reads in the voice of Cliff (as an American young man).

I thoroughly enjoyed listening to the audiobook of this mystery, and can, and do, highly recommend it to fans of both mysteries and fantasies. show less

Framed as a how-to manual from the McMasters School, which helps people learn how to delete (they're not so crass as to say "murder") the one person in their life who the entire world would be better without, this tells the story of Cliff Iverson, Gemma Lindley, and Doria Maye, our case studies for how (or, perhaps, how not) to go about murdering one's employer successfully.

My mother doesn't read murder mysteries because she has a problem with making murder entertainment. In my mind, mysteries are more about the puzzle, and the real entertainment is seeing how they're solved. This book, however, makes murder the entertainment, full stop. The whole idea of a McMasters School is done in such a (darkly) humorous way, though, that the show more reader becomes complicit with the characters completing their "thesis" successfully. I found myself straddling the line between cringing at the whole idea and laughing along. And the ending, I have to say, was pitch-perfect. show less

The title page tells us that Rupert Holmes (yes, the "Pina Colada Song" singer/songwriter) is merely the editor of this book, which is actually "from the chronicles of Dean Harbinger Harrow, The McMasters Conservatory for the Applied Arts." The "arts" studied by McMasters students are those involved in murder, and this is the first volume in the dean's projected series, "The McMasters Guide to Homicide," offering tips and anecdotes for the would-be murderer (or, in McMasters jargon, "deletist") who cannot afford the school's rather pricy tuition.

The dean makes his agenda clear (and Holmes makes the tone of the novel equally clear) at the very beginning:

"So you've decided to commit a murder.

"Congratulations. Simply by purchasing this show more volume, you've already taken the all-important first step toward a successful homicide of which you can be proud, one that would gain you the admiration of your peers, were they ever to learn of it.

"This book will see to it that they don't."

Harrow tells us three stories of McMasters students whose "thesis" -- the murder for which their tutelage is meant to prepare them -- is the death of their employers. Given the need to avoid possible legal exposure for his alums, he has chosen a set of stories set about 70 years ago: An aerospace engineer has designed a new plane, and his employer plans to cut corners on its manufacture in a way that will surely lead to many deaths; a nurse is being blackmailed by her supervisor; an actress struggles to maintain her career when the studio boss won't give her any decent roles.

The three students are at McMasters at the same time, in the first half of the book, though their stories overlap only tangentially; they're entirely separate stories in the second half, when the three are sent back into the world to complete their theses.

The murder schemes are clever; the three villains are nasty enough, and the would-be killers likable enough, that we don't feel too awful about rooting for the murderers to succeed; and the early 50s setting gives the story something of a Golden Age aura while still allowing Holmes/Harrow to narrate in a more contemporary style, witty and winking without crossing the line into snark.

As noted above, Harrow presents this as the first in a planned series of McMasters volumes, and Holmes has created a world that allows for a wide range of follow-ups. New McMasters volumes could focus on different types of murders (there is a reference to "the oft-requested Murder Those Cruel to You in Adolescence"), be centered on a single murder instead of the three-part story found here, or be set in a wide variety of historical periods. And the final pages of the book do allow for the possibility of return visits to McMasters, while also suggesting that those visits might have to take very different form than these pages from Harrow's chronicles. Whatever form that might be, I eagerly await Holmes's next tale of the McMasters Conservatory. show less

Gotta say, I enjoyed the hell out of this book. Far more than I expected, for a couple of reasons...

The first is, the sardonic, smirking tone that Holmes uses throughout is usually something I don't enjoy, but Holmes struck the perfect balance between smartassery and clever turns of phrase that just kept endearing me more and more.

The second actually took me a long time to piece together. I kept reading that name...Rupert Holmes...Rupert Holmes...where do I know that name from? I was actually about three-quarters of the way through the novel before I remembered. He was the guy that wrote and sang this horrible song 44 years ago. Honestly, had I known this author and that singer were one and the same, I likely would have avoided the show more book.

Glad I didn't.

To me, this is sort of Harry Potter, only if Potter was an adult and instead of being taken off to a hidden school to learn magic, he's being taken off to a finishing school to learn the fine art of murder. Overall, it sort of sounds fun, but dumb, and it mostly is, but it's far more fun than anything.

Honestly, I enjoyed all of it. The overview, the diary entries, the three main characters, all of it.

I'll absolutely read another, should Holmes put one out. He's a far better novelist than he is songwriter. show less

I adored this one. It captured my attention right from the start and wouldn’t let go. I read a lot and it’s such a joy when a book is this creative and original. It’s also fun. I think of it as something resembling the energy of boarding school novels like Malory Towers or The Chalet School that I grew up with, but for adults and with far more extreme consequences for failure. It had me chuckling more than a few times and the characters are both memorable and easy to become invested in. I think it’s the most fun read of 2025 so far for me. Highly recommended.

Originally, it was understood that the strong would dominate the weak. “But in recent millennia, flying in the face of Darwinian precepts, we have evolved into a planet where the un-fittest not only survive but often flourish, holding sway over their betters in a social order where dim-witted, dim-watted (sic) employers all too often lord it over their considerably brighter subjects.”
“So if sensible people can kill themselves because life no longer seems worth living, then I suppose a sensible person might kill someone who makes other people’s lives unlivable, or who endangers the existence of others. It’s the ‘Could you assassinate Hitler clause.’”
Rupert Holmes provides the blueprint for resolving these issues in his show more witty MURDER YOUR EMPLOYER McMasters Guide to Homicide.
Dean Harbinger Harrow runs the McMasters Conservatory for the Applied Arts where students gain the ability to delete (never use the word “murder”) their tormentors. It is located on a wooded, secluded estate, complete with poison ivy-covered dormitories, classrooms, eating establishments, a church, and all the other necessities of a small, college town. It is beautifully illustrated on inside cover drawings. The exact location is unknown to the students who are brought there either after applying and being accepted or after being kidnaped.
All the students have either deleted someone, attempted to but failed to do so, or plan to do so. While many of the lessons are taught to all or most of them, they are able to focus on the specifics necessary for their individual situations.
There are four questions that the students must answer before being able to carry out their assignments.
1. Is this murder necessary?
2. Have you given your target every last chance to redeem themselves?
3. What innocent person might suffer by your actions?
4. Will this deletion improve the life of others?
The three primary students in MURDER YOUR EMPLOYER are “self-effacing Cliff Iverson, troubled Gemma Lindley, and Hollywood diva Doria Maye.”
Rupert Holmes, creator of television’s four-season “Remember WENN” and Tony winner for “The Mystery of Edwin Drood” has wonderful control over his words, sneaking in laughs where you least expect them. The story makes perfect sense in a wicked sense. show less

What a ride!

Cliff’s boss is a psychopath. And a powerful one at that. He managed to ruin Cliff’s career, have his best friend murdered and make the girl Cliff liked commit suicide. Cliff is a nice guy, but he decides to kill his boss for the greater good. He fails miserably but that’s where the McMasters “finishing school” (pun intended) comes to play.

The beginning of this book reminded me of Monty Python and Futurama, it was bizarre and so funny! The academy with its seemingly jovial and good natured dean was idyllic and cozy which contrasted with its murderous purpose in a brilliant way.

There are kitchen gardens so the food is fresh and there’s an ice cream van to complete the bucolic setting. But there are also poison show more gardens and there is ground glass in the ice cream.

As the story progressed it got darker. It should not have been a surprise, given the subject, but it was a little. All the twisted logic about murder (or deletion) being basically the only option for some individuals. All the mind tricks making you understand the motives and subsequently… root for the killer.

My only complaint is that this book is very long and at some point it started dragging.
However if you like dark humor and witty, intelligent writing, you will love it!

Thank you NetGalley and Avid Reader Press for the chance to read this book in exchange for an honest review. show less