Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow

I was hoping for something different from this book; the writer is the founder of the Omega Institute (with her now-ex-husband). While she does appear to be telling her own story honestly and bravely, I disagree with many of her conclusions and the points she's chosen to illustrate. Most damningly (for me as reader) I had read the same things in other places, said much better.
It was a little too new-age healy-feely for me, and didn't really address what happens when people actually do break: soul-shattering traumas, inexplicable destructions. Perhaps it should have been titled, "Self-concept Changing Moments, Open". Nah-- doesn't have a good ring to it.

With a mix of personal experiences and stories witnessed Lesser traces the process of change and transition, or the Phoenix Process. I enjoyed the wide range of inspiration added through quotes from David Bowie to Pema Chodron. As I work on my own book about transitions I read slowly and compiled my own list of quotes from Lessing that may one day appear in my work.

"It may seem that living for rapture is a selfish act reserved for the elite, or that it’s a fancy phrase for hedonism. But it isn’t. Rapture is not a selfish emotion. It is pure gratitude, flowing freely through the body, heart, and soul. Gratitude for what? For breath, for colors, for music, for friendship, humor, weather, sleep, awareness. It is a willing engagement show more with the whole messy miracle of life. The world suffers more from unhappy stifled people trying to do good than it does from those who are simply content within themselves." p.50

"Although the fire burns hot, it seems more painful to me to remain frozen in an unexamined relationship (or a soul-killing job, or a difficult loss, or an impending change) than to go into the unknown, through the fire, into the ashes, and out again into new life." p 130 show less

Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow, by Elizabeth Lesser, is a collection of stories and observations about coming through what Lesser calls a Phoenix Process - rebirth after going down in flames, as it were. This is not the type of book I normally read. However, I am in the process of going through my own personal life-changing event, and when I saw this book in the grocery store I impulsively decided to buy it. Lesser tells many stories about change and transition - divorce, death, illness - and shows that through life's crises we can choose to grow. She draws on many different traditions and teachings, from Christianity and Buddhism, psychology and poetry. This is most definitely NOT a how-to book. Lesser offers no show more specific guidance or answers. What she wants her reader to do is to open themselves up to the process of change, defeat and grief so that they can emerge with insights into their own soul. Although this is not the type of book I typically read, I did take away a few important personal insights. The most important insight for me right now is that I need to stop resisting the river of change. I am a great resister, and find that I will fight far beyond what is necessary - or good. I need to learn to go with the flow and to let the currents take me into unexpected waters. show less

I bought this book to give to a friend who is going through hard times. I didn't expect to sit down and read it cover to cover, but I did. Elizabeth Lesser has a fluid way of writing, and a wonderful way of sharing her experiences with some big name new-age heavyweights without every sounding like she is talking down to her readers. She mixes her own life experiences with those of others and offers up a philosophy that encourages us to stay open to learning from life, rather than fighting against change.

A helpful book to recommend to persons who are struggling to find meaning in the midst of adversity.

Not what I was expecting.

Thanks, Nancy!