The Areas of My Expertise

If you find the idea of a Hobo rebellion nearly overturning the American government oddly compelling, this is the book for you. And if there are dozens of facts that you need to have confirmed for you are not true...this is the book for you. A joyous and rye look at the missing facts of American History and how we are left sadder for their never having occurred. I look forward to reading his sequel which even now is sitting quietly, if suspiciously, on my shelf.

Hodgman's sense of humour is about as dry as the centre of the Atacama Desert—and, I would imagine, one of the few to give rise to a list of 700 pseudonyms employed by hobos. (who, as we all know, long waged a war against the USA)—which means this book gels nicely with what I tend to find funny. Most of The Areas of My Expertise is brief and episodic, which I think makes it more a book to dip into rather than read straight through; there are parts of it which are more amusing than others. It's only towards the end of it, as Hodgman allows himself to engage in something closer to a narrative, that the humour goes beyond the simply wry to the truly sharp—I'd love to see what he could do if he gave himself the scope of a novel(la).

The full title of this book is "The Areas of My Expertise: Which Include Matters Historical, Matters Literary, Matters Cryptozoological, Hobo Matters, Food, Drink & Cheese (a kind of food), Squirrels and Lobsters & Eels, Haircuts, Utopia, What Will Happen in the Future, and Most Other Subjects". It is full of little-known and bizarre facts, all of which were fabricated. It is a sort of an almanac, with information that everyone needs. There is a lot about hoboes, including 700 hobo names and a compendium of hobo signs. Did you know that Yale enforces its will on the world via a capella singing groups? Or the essential differences between cat people and dog people? [Linus Pauling fed massive doses of vitamin C to his Schipperke, "Josef" show more and Daniel Boone devised forty-six ways of skinning cats (many still used today)] How about five jokes that have never produced laughter, or nine palindromes that aren't quite palindromes? [A man, a plan, a kind of man-made river, planned."] According to TAOME, a cesium-133 atom will oscillate between two hyperfine levels 16,546,737,186,000 times in half an hour. A compendium of fifty-five dramatic situations will provide the basis for any book that you might want to write. Several pages of potents and omens provide a guide for the future. Best of all, almost nothing in the book is true (except for the frequency of the cesium clock). It is all made up (by Mr. Hodgman, who is also "the PC guy" in the Apple commercials), and it is quite funny, in the sort of way that appeals mainly to the warped. I guess I qualify. show less

This is an almanac of COMPLETE WORLD KNOWLEDGE. It will replace all other books on your shelves (by secretly overwriting their text with its own.)

It is an essential reference for anyone who is curious about different types of squirrels, American utopian communities, or the mysterious hidden state of Hohoq; is is particularly necessary for anyone creating a bibliography of reference works related to the great nation of Uqbar. The detailed Werewolf Transformation Timetables are also greatly recommended for all werewolf-hunters, as the most accuate of their kind currently in publication.

No reader of this book should miss e-hobo.com , at which a group of noted hobo artists have taken it upon themselves to create historically accurate show more portraits recording for posterity all 700 named hoboes in this book.

Also, aid me in combating the dire calumny being perpetuated by the catalogers of our great nation's libraries (in league with the Secret World Government of Yale University), who insist on classifying it under 800 (dewey) or PR(library of congress) as fiction, instead of 001 (knowledge) and AY (almanacs) where it self-evidently belongs. show less

This is hilarious and unlike anything I have read. It is fictitious non-fiction and major props to John Hodgman for making up everything -- and including a few kernels of truth, which are really hard to find. By billing this as an almanac he has given himself the perfect platform to include a bunch of randomness. He seems to gravitate toward hoboes and werewolves -- and why not? He has also included lots of tables and charts (also made-up) so extra points for creativity in that regard. Some entries include: "Hints on Building Snow Forts"; "Dog People vs. Cat People"; "Secrets of Yale University"; "Four Famous Monsters and Their Hunters" and some local flavor: "Secrets of the Mall of America" and "Four Dubious Fables of Chicago" as well show more as a look at all 51 states in "The States, Their Nicknames and Mottoes" -- the 51 is explained. His tone is so deadpan and exaggerated that he seems almost believable and puts me in mind of Dave Barry, Rex Huppke and Jim Gaffigan but with a higher IQ audience in mind. He is a "frequent voice" on This American Life if that gives you some context. Though published in 2005 this book is perfect for our 'fake news' era and Hodgman would probably say this "Almanac of Complete World Knowledge" predicted it. He closes the book with this send-off: "Such is the effect of KNOWLEDGE upon the brain -- a zinging clarity that does not quickly fade, but will last all the way to dinner, and then by bedtime will turn into awful, crushing dread." (223) show less

A wonderfully goofy almanac of fake facts. Hodgman's lies jump back & forth from "possibly plausible" to "outright ridiculous" so nimbly that you never know what he's going to say next. Worth reading for his "facts" about the 51 states and the 700 hobo names alone.

Also, it's even better if you imagine him reading the book to you in his dry, "Hi, I'm a PC" voice.

Ever wonder how much you should tip a hotel’s starling boy? Or its melancholier? Or its feral turn-down service? Do you even know what these are? Neither did I … until I came upon John Hodgman’s The Areas of My Expertise, an almanac of miscellaneous facts with a twist: It’s a pack of lies.

I didn’t know Hodgman by name when I started the book, but it turned out that I had seen him before. He played the ‘PC’ in the recent series of TV commercials with the two geeky guys — one pretending to be a PC and one a Mac. He’s also done spots for Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show”, too. With this book, Hodgman has bestowed upon us all the knowledge ‘in the areas of his expertise.’ In other words, he has meticulously show more fabricated the world according to Hodgman. He’s very up front about this. And I’ve never enjoyed being misinformed so much. For today, at least, call this blog “Mostly FNF” (fake non-fiction).

Hodgman has given us his tour of the Mall of America (including his discovery of a secret tunnel running from Camp Snoopy to the Pottery Barn lined with human skulls); his visit to the Lucky Charms factory (where they show how the leprechauns are flayed and pulped and turned into marshmallows); and his history of lobsters (Did you know they were furry land animals a hundred years ago?). Consult a normal almanac if you want to know banal facts like the population of Ecuador, but Hodgman’s book is the only place you’ll learn that moose dislike pirates; that Chicago is merely a myth; that Kingston, NY is home to the Toobin Museum of Non-Hockey-Related Haircuts; or that the weight of a rabbit can be determined by his religious affiliation. I frankly don’t get his obsession with hobo names, but maybe that’s the joke. His hobo history is just plain goofy.

I’ve both skimmed the book AND listened to the audio version, and frankly prefer the latter. The printed book has some tables and figures that obviously can’t be read aloud very well, but Hodgman’s dead-pan “I’m-so-clearly-an-expert” delivery and the comic addition of a formerly-feral guitar-playing accompanyist makes the audio book a performance that shouldn’t be missed. It’s like a seven-hour comedy routine.

[Note: I’m only giving you the abbreviated, five-word title of the book here. The complete title runs between 63 and 111 words (depending on what counts as subtitle) and takes more than 45 seconds to read.]

Find more of my reviews at Mostly NF show less