'Scuse Me While I Kill This Guy

There's a scene in this book in which the heroine is so awestruck by the handsome man who sits down at her Borders coffee-corner table that she ends up sprinkling salt in her latte.

That scene could serve as a metaphor for the entire book, which is an astonishing and unlikely mix of funny, fast-paced, chick-lit set against a totally off-the-wall background that could have come directly from a superhero comic.

Ginny Bombay is a widowed mother of a cute daughter. She's also a member of a family that has specialised in assassination for thousands of years, each child being initiated at the age of five, trained in the lethal arts, and obliged to make their first hit at fifteen.

Two story lines intertwine: Ginny's infatuation with Diego, the show more professional bodyguard she met in Borders, and her involvement with her family affairs. The two story lines come together and sour Ginny's relationship with Diego, but all ends well.

The ancient family of secret assassins provided both tension and comedy, but despite a total suspension of disbelief, one story element was too much to swallow. For a professional assassin who takes meticulous care in all her hits, and is aware of the penalty of prompt execution for any infringement of the family code, Ginny immediately blabs top-secret information to her sister and then to most of her relatives, presumably putting all of them at risk of sudden death.

This incongruity dropped my rating from five to four. Otherwise [b:'Scuse Me While I Kill This Guy|1147617|'Scuse Me While I Kill This Guy (Bombay Assassins, #1)|Leslie Langtry|http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1181403003s/1147617.jpg|1135077] is a marvellous tongue-in-cheek romp with a delightfully ebullient middle-aged protagonist.

Interesting that Ms Langtry (like several other authors) chose a title that puns on the mondegreen version of Jimi Hendrix's lyric, not the original. But then once the mondegreen went viral, even Jimi began to sing the incorrect version—I saw him do so live, which just goes to show my age. (So what's wrong with being a geriatric hippy, huh?) show less

Leslie Langtry's dastardly plan worked. I bought this book on a free day and now I will be shelling out some real dollars to buy more of her books.

It moved at a fast clip, which I liked. The main character's internal dialogue is hilarious. Except for being part of a family of assassins, she's very much an ordinary modern woman. She's loves junk food, has put on weight, deals with overbearing PTA moms and annoying relatives. On the side, she's a cold-blooded killer, but I rooted for her anyway.

There were parts of the novel I found implausible though. She invites a guy to live with her and her five-year-old daughter when she hardly knows him. A meticulous and paranoid assassin would be more careful than that. Also, after a lifetime of show more guarding the family secret, she reveals everything to him in a short period of time. Despite its shortfalls, I found this story so gosh darn entertaining I'm giving it 5 stars anyway. show less

I had gotten this book for free twice in two different covers once in 2012 and again in 2017, but it wasn't until I read and excerpt at the end of Moongazer by Mari Mancusi that I decided to look into it and read it. I'm so glad I did I haven't laughed so hard while reading in a long time. Not only are you in for a HEA (that's Happily Ever After for those like me that didn't know the first time they see it), but also a rompy comedy from a woman who despite her job (family business) does well to not take herself to seriously in her everyday life. I will admit there are a few grammar errors here and there but not near enough to cause me to complain heavily or even remember where they where nor take away from my star rating.

Many of us have show more family business we plan to one day join and continue the tradition of when we are children. I'm betting that it's not like the Bombay's family business which is murder or assassination to be exact. Helping rid the world of people that always seem to get away with it or stay out of the reach of the government. They've been at it a long time too, long enough that no one needs to "work" just their one to two hits a year. They rest of the time they can just enjoy their life and family.

Ginny Bombay is a widow with a five year old daughter who has started kindergarten when she is reminded by an invitation (one that is three years to soon) that it's time for her daughter to start learning about the "family business". Meanwhile she's got jobs to do or vic's to take out, usually with poison, it's her specialty. She's also just meet the man of her dreams (at least since her husband passed). Not to mention the childhood bully Vivian who is still trying to make her live miserable by ordering her around (make cookies for the halloween party and become a Daisy Troop den mom). Just like any mom she's wondering I'm I going to be able to get it all done? Luckily she has her baby brother Dak, her mom and dad, and her cousin and best friend Liv to help her out and lend support. Which is good because when your family is a family of assassins it's hard to know who you can trust.

The rules are strict:

1) Blood oath at five to not talk about or tell about the family plus your training begins
2) You must do your first hit by fifteen
3) Family reunions are mandatory every five years, which is also when you get your performance review (this is a business after all)
4) If your a woman and you get married your husband has to take your name and you must tell your spouse by the time the next family reunion comes around (spouses don't have to come blood only unless your under five then you don't have to come either)
5) When giving an assignment you must fulfill it and as quietly as possible
6) NEVER tell outsiders about the family business
7) Obey the council

If you break any of these or any I forgot then someone in the family is going to hunt you down and kill you.

Right now the Bombay family has a problem someone is talking to the Feds and Scotland Yard about the family. The person assigned to find out who it is none other than our friendly neighborhood soccer and Daisy's troop leading mom Ginny, Gin for short all short for Virginia. She has two weeks to find the mole and turn him over or kill him. But when all signs start pointing at one of the one persons she was sure could never be involved how many rules will she be willing to break to get to the truth or help one of the most important people in her life.

Are there moments when things seem to unrealistic or that as an assassin I question her thought process and wonder what she is thinking. Yes there are but that's when I also remember this is a story fiction meant to entertain which I think it does very well. Moments of laughing so hard tears started forming and I had a hard time catching my breath. There is a HEA, the love scenes are short and vague and there are very few curse words through out the book. If you can keep from taking things to seriously and just sit back and enjoy the story instead of the practicality of it all then by all means grab this book and read it. show less

We all read different kinds of books depending on mood, school, time of day, etc. Sometimes something light is required. This series fits the bill.

Virginia (all the family members are named after cities or geographic locations) is a member of the Bombay family whose tradition and business is they are assassins. All independently wealthy thanks to the family trust fund, each receives assignments from the "Council" made up of senior family members. Part of the family reunions, normally held every five years is to eliminate someone in the family who has failed some assignment and to initiate children just turning five into their new responsibilities. Each member develops a specialty: " Poison was my specialty. Everyone in the family had a show more favorite way of killing people, even though we were required to cross-train. With my brother, it was asphyxiation and/or strangulation. And while I should probably worry about that, it made us a good team because we both liked to make each job resemble death by natural cause. Of course, occasionally we ran out of time and had to leave the scene of the crime with a plastic bag still on the victim’s head, but that happened only once when I’d been running late from picking up Romi from preschool." Held on their own private island, they have to go inside buildings every day at 4 p.m. to avoid passing satellite surveillance. This invitation is unusual in that it comes just one year after the last. Refusing is not an option.

"As I stroked the creamy vellum paper, for a brief moment I thought about sending my regrets. But only for a moment. After all, it wasn’t an option on the R.S.V.P. card. Unlike most family reunions with sack races, bad weather and crappy T-shirts, where to refuse to go only meant you weren’t in the ridiculous all-family photo, to turn down this invitation was death. That’s right. Death. Any blooded member of the family who didn’t show was terminated. Now, where had I put that goddamned pen?"

It appears a mole has wormed his way into the family, it's a male member of the family is all that's known and Virginia has been assigned the task of eliminating the threat. Things get complicated when she falls in love with a bodyguard for a man she has been assigned to take out. But enough plot. Just plain fun. show less

This book is the first in a series, but these can also be read as a standalone.

The Bombay clan are a weird and wonderful bunch... of assassins. I really liked this book. It was really funny and I laughed out loud a few times. I am an instant fan!

I rarely give up on books and don't ever throw books away. This one was painful to finish and after I finished I had a hard time not throwing it away as I just couldn't think anyone who I could give it to. Soccer mom as an assassin, thought it sounded fun so bought bought it. Actually the back cover was as interesting as the whole book. The characters had no depth and the storyline was not well developed. Wouldn't recommend.

A single mom from a family of top secret assassins falls in love with the hunky Australian bodyguard who works for her next mark. Yes, a bit far-fetched, but saved by humor.