And Then There Was Us

Lots of kids grow up in abusive homes, often feeling like tennis balls being lobbed in a demented parental tennis match. Coi is such a teen.Her mother abused her verbally and physically until at fourteen, her father got full custody. But even her last day with her mother was full of loud, hostile rejection.
Coi has begun building a new and creative life for herself with a boyfriend, best friend, and a budding career as a graphic artist and fashion designer. Then her estranged mother dies after being comatose for a while in the hospital, following an auto accident. Coi doesn't go to the funeral and afterward is left to struggle with unresolved anger and grief, along with a bunch of painful 'what ifs.' She also has to figure out how to show more reconnect with her younger half sister, get the truth about why her mom was the way she was, and then decide how to move on with her life. The author does a fine job of leading readers through all of this messiness. show less

This review is dedicated to me & my younger self. This book is heavy for me. My parent-mom is still alive but we have a terrible relationship. It wasn't always so rough. Like most west indian-jamaican mothers she is strict, physically and verbally disciplines (to put it nicely) , and has trauma from her own life. Otherwise she was always there doing for me not herself. Then I grew up wanted better from my family as I emotionally and mentally evolved. She didn't like the person I was becoming. Therapy and my friends kept me alive. She kicked me out. I can blame her husband, the family that abused her, my queerness, etc but it doesn't matter she made the choices. Our relationship will never be the same whether she is dead or alive. But im show more choosing to live for me. I dont want to make the mistakes of those before me. Thats what this book is about. Its interesting that a male author wrote from the pov of a fmc. But he did a really good job. I havent read a book by a cis man in years. I might just cry from how this book made me feel. show less

Best YA I've read in some time. Tension. Trauma. [But no sex. What? No sex? Why do we think YA needs sex scenes to make a teen, young adult, or older adult want to read it?]

Coi's mother was abusive and her father got sole custody. After years of not seeing each other, her mother calls. Coi wants nothing to do with her—and then her mother is in a car accident.

Memories come flooding back. Coi hates her mother for what she put her through, but she also missed out on years of her half-sister's life. While waiting to see if her mother will survive, she starts having lucid dreams, confronting her mother for the abuse she suffered.

But there are layers of complexity in this family, just as there are in all families.

This is the first book show more I've read by Kern Carter. I'll be looking for more.

And I don't often comment on cover art, but the jacket design by Gigi Lau is spectacular. That alone made me want to read the book. show less

A deep dive into complicated relationships, mental health, and loss. Given the subject matter, it likely won't connect with everyone, but it's probably not intended to; you can either relate to the protagonist and what she's dealing with or can't. And that's fine.

I'm one of those who can relate and I found it to be an excellent read. The author does a great job of exploring how life changing events can affect a young adult who is still just figuring out who she wants to be and how that changes her relationships to those around her.

Some things aren't cut and dry no matter how much you try to convince yuorself they are. Coi hates her mother for the abuse she received as a child and ultimately abandoning her with her father. Through the death of her mother Coi comes to grips with her past and what it truly means to be family and how to forgive. A gripping emotional journey dealing with a complicated family relations and personal growth.

There were parts of the story that seemed like they would get more attention, but instead fell away. Most notable were the dream sequence interactions between Coi and her mother which provided some poignant moments, but also didn’t feel fully resolved to me. Coi’s relationship with her boyfriend, Derrick, was another. They had some dysfunction that seemed to be building to something but ultimately wasn’t addressed.
However, overall this was an achingly moving depiction of grief and trauma when the chance for reconciliation is well and truly lost. All the complicated feelings Coi has for her mother now that she’s gone and frayed relationships with her mother’s side of the family were written so well.

DNF at 50 pages. This book had an interesting premise, with the possibility of strong character development and themes centering around fragmented families, sudden loss, and the trauma that is inherent when these two intersect, but I just couldn’t connect with this book. The pacing was choppy, and the protagonist wasn’t clearly painted at all. The story read like it was meant to be YA, with a relatively immature protagonist, but at the same time she’s taking college classes and studying the business fashion? Everything felt fragmented, and without a solid soul to connect to the story just felt hollow to me.