To Sir Phillip, with Love

I usually don't review these but I hated this one enough to come here and say skip this one. It's actually quite awful. CW: suicide, mental health, child abuse.

The rest of the review I'm gonna nest in spoiler tags in case you're not gonna heed my warning above and want to go into this one knowing nothing.

What a disappointing conclusion to Eloise's character. I really admired Eloise for being a self-assured, smart, and witty member of the Bridgerton bunch. She always demanded more from people, and the fact that she'd turned down six (maybe more?) suitors' marriage proposals gave me high hopes that her eventual match would be a worthy one. Boy, was I mistaken.

Phillip is looking for a brood mare to become a mother for his kids so he show more doesn't have to parent them. That's what he sets out to do, at least, after he's so inconvenienced by his wife's suicide. And yes, inconvenienced is the right word there. Not hurt, not even bummed out that his wife of eight freakin' years is gone. He's annoyed because Marina, his dead wife, was such a burden and drag. She was always just so sad and gloomy. She never laughed or smiled or anything! How annoying! (Heavy sarcasm here)

So Marina attempts to end her life by drowning in a lake (and she has the impolite gall to do it on a sunny day, so annoying for Phillip to now have to associate sunshine with her selfish demise), and when Phillip fishes her out she succumbs to fever a few days later. To make matters worse she's not even grateful to him for saving her life, how rude. Anyway, after waiting oh-so-patiently through the required mourning period (another inconvenience, really), Phillip sets out to find a replacement for his kids. Women are pretty easily replaceable, so it shouldn't be too bad of an ordeal.

Luckily, Marina has a rich, hot cousin named Eloise, who he writes letters to for a couple of months before proposing, again over letters. Eloise, who I'll remind you has turned down several proposals, thinks, "welp, this'll do" and heads right over. Surprise, though! When she arrives to the countryside, she finds out that Phillip has two kids he failed to mention! And Phillip balks at her surprise. Isn't it totally normal to lie-by-omission about your literal children's existence to the person you intend to marry?

Phillip is such a weak love interest too. He's really just horny, and he's glad Eloise is there because Marina wasn't bang-able with the gross chronic depression and post partumt thing. Yucky. Fortunately, Eloise is down-to-clown so they get married. There's some problems though, she's such a nag! She never stops talking! You know, the series-favorite-character who's so admired for her chatty wit and sharp mind? So freaking annoying, but women, am I right?

I forgot to mention, Phillip's entire onus for going through with the marriage officially is he's worried Eloise's brothers will kneecap him if he doesn't. Super romantic.

The culmination of the book is Phillip whining to Eloise about how much of a gosh darned drag Marina was, and how annoying it was that she never smiled or anything. She was such a bummer to be around. (For context: Phillip never loved her, he only married her because she was engaged to his brother and his brother beefed it in the war, so she was a consolation prize or something).

Seriously y'all, the treatment of depression and mental illness in general was utterly repulsive. I was absolutely disgusted by how unkind and cruel Phillip (and the narration overall) was to the subject. Eloise, both you and I know you can and should do better. Or, do you know that anymore? Has Phillip really hypnotized you by how good his bonking is?

The only redemption I think this book could possibly have is that the Netflix series has done a pretty okay job at adapting the worst parts of this series into something at least palatable. I don't necessarily have high hopes though. show less

When the “Happily Ever After” Feels Like a Moral Hangover

This one was supposed to clear the air. Well, it succeeded in making it smell worse. Every single character, and every major aspect of this novel, left me with an uneasy feeling.

Eloise Bridgerton is confused, snobby, garrulous, and somehow deeply ambiguous. She runs away from what exactly? Nobody forces her into marriage but herself. After a year of merely exchanging letters, she decides to marry a stranger and be a good, obedient wife. And yet, she also strains toward what might, at the time, have passed for an “independent spinster”.

Phillip, meanwhile, basks in his self-sacrificing suffering-husband and widower roles while being emotionally estranged from his two show more eight-year-old children.

The children are neglected, abused, and basically thoroughly traumatised, which Eloise unconvincingly tries to “love away”.

Their mother, Phillip’s late wife, looms over the entire estate like a dark cloud. She’s depicted as wilfully suffering, even though it ultimately becomes clear that she suffered from severe, untreated depression. Nevertheless, for large parts of this novel, she’s the semi-present villain.

So much feels awkward and ethically problematic in this novel, I didn’t come to enjoy it at all. Sometimes one can marginalise such issues by referring to "story of its time” or “guilty pleasure” but this was neither. This was just an unpleasant waste of time.

One star out of five.

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Ceterum censeo Putin esse delendam show less

First I have to say that this book was incredibly insensitive and disrespectful to people who suffer from depression. It was triggering towards all those negative thoughts we have about ourselves. If you can look past that, Philip is a self-centred man with an anger problem and daddy issues that make him a terrible father too cowardly to even try to change. I like that he did grow and change by the end, but as with previous books it kind of happens all at once near the very end. With the exception of his demanding that Eloise "has to be happy" because of his terrible first marriage (way to guilt her into never feeling like she can want or ask for more from you even if it is reasonable). Eloise was a lovely character to follow and see show more how she grew and as always the Bridgerton family was such a joy to spend time with. show less

Here's the deal:

Eloise Bridgerton (the tv show portrayal) is one of my favorite characters. She is feisty and opinionated. In so many ways, I can see Elizabeth Bennett comparisons. She is an early feminist who isn't opposed to love and romance; she just wants more than that!

While Eloise is that way in "To Sir Phillip With Love," I really could not stand Phillip Crane. I wanted Eloise to finally land with someone better. While I pictured him like Sanditon's Colbourne, he was a lot less.....nice....than Colbourne. I really pictured Phillip Crane like a sex crazed Mr. Rochester (of Jane Eyre.) And sure, you could argue all ofthe Bridgerton males are sex crazed......but.....they have redeeming qualities. I strugled with finding one in show more Phillip.

The premise of being attracted to someone through letters is very "You've Got Mail" esque. Which was promising. The children struggling to welcome Eloise reminded me of "The Sound of Music." But the whole "being caught in a compromising position so you have to marry and you aren't sure if you are fully attracted to the person [so let's have sex and find out]".....yeah I wasn't feeling it.

Yes it is all tied up in a cute romantic bow but honestly, I think Eloise's story should be different (like get with the Theo character from the TV show!) show less

I was so curious to read Elouise's love story because she is such a fiercely independent woman and I couldn't imagine who she would end up. Her romance is as improbable and unconventional as I anticipated - she becomes pen pals with a man she's never met (she wrote him a condolence letter after the death of his wife who happened to be her cousin) and he proposes marriage. At first she is annoyed and flabbergasted but when her best friend and fellow spinster, Penelope, gets married - she's feeling very alone. She decides to sneak away to meet him and see if he's the marrying sort. What Sir Phillip neglected to tell her was that he had two rambunctious twins who can't manage to stay out of trouble. He's looking for a new mother for them show more rather than a wife - but maybe they'll find there could be more to the relationship. show less

Wow, how much did I hate this book? I mean, completely fucking hated? Eloise and the children were beyond delightful, and if this had just been a book about Eloise and the children I would have loved it to pieces, but no.

No it was not.

I am ridiculously upset that Eloise got stuck with a piece of shit like Sir Phillip, when all of her siblings get wonderful husbands (I assume). There is literally nothing I liked about Phillip. Nothing. I would like to be able to give him some leeway by saying that everything that he did was a product of the time period except 1) No, and 2) None of it has been in the other books, so why is it suddenly appearing in this one?

I especially liked the scene where Phillip and the Bridgerton men treated Eloise show more like chattel. Again, period appropriate, but it was never so blatant in the other books. I wish I'd had a physical copy of the book so I could've thrown it across the room.

I guess my most major problem with Phillip was that he let life happen to him, and refused to do anything to change it, and, in fact, blamed other people for his douchiness. Wife suicidal? Oh well he did everything he could and stopped caring years ago, whatevs. Doesn't know how to act around his children? Obvs. avoid them and mope about it instead of doing something.

Also: the bit that really stuck with me, besides the chattel scene, was the bit where Phillip tells Eloise that their marriage was perfection to him, so she couldn't complain about anything. And suddenly it all becomes clear: the other men in the other books understood that a marriage involves two real people. To Phillip, the marriage was all about him.

From a queer perspective: Holy shit Eloise totally only got married because Penelope did, which meant the person she shipped herself with was completely unattainable and she couldn't bear the thought of being lonely for the rest of her life. That is fucked up. show less

One of my favorite Bridgerton books. Eloise has always been my favorite Bridgerton, and I loved her relationship with Penelope Featherington. Eloise always assumed Penelope would be her co-spinster and they would go through life together, and she turns away all the men who offer for her hand. But then Penelope marries Eloise's brother Colin (whom we know she has always loved.) Eloise is thrown, and in her discombobulation she runs off, unchaperoned, to visit a man she has corresponded with for a year. Phillip is a widowed Baron with properties far from the city and with 8-year-old twins. This turns out to be the second best possible ending for Eloise, the first being a marriage to Penelope, which would be impossible for a woman of noble show more birth in early 19th-century England. I was really pleased with how this played out. Eloise finds a man who appreciates her outspokenness, independence, and what would now clearly be identified as her ADHD and becomes a loving mother to Phillips's children, and then her own (in the epilogue.) The relationship between these two bruised and frightened souls is really lovely and touching. show less