The In-Between Bookstore: A Novel

Darby is a trans man staring down his 30th birthday feeling like he has absolutely nothing to show for it. His startup job just collapsed, his New York rent is going up, and he's emotionally stuck in a way he can't quite name. So he does the only thing that makes sense: he retreats to the small Illinois town he grew up in and couldn't wait to leave.
Oak Falls is sleepier than he remembered, but one thing feels exactly the same — the little independent bookstore where he worked as a teenager. When he wanders in, something feels off. The newspapers on the rack are from 2009. And the kid behind the counter looks startlingly familiar. Because it is him. Sixteen-year-old Darby, pre-transition, awkward, and quietly struggling with things he show more doesn't yet have words for.
The bookstore becomes a kind of portal that Darby can slip in and out of, though not always when he wants to. He starts carefully, cautiously interacting with his younger self — not wanting to freak him out, but desperately wanting to say something useful, to smooth something over, to spare him some of the pain that's coming. It's tender and a little heartbreaking to watch adult Darby observe himself at sixteen — all that confusion he now understands, all those signs he missed.
Running parallel to the time-travel storyline is something equally complicated: Michael. Darby's closest friend growing up, until something happened at the end of high school and their friendship just... ended. Darby never fully understood why, and it's haunted him ever since. Back in Oak Falls, adult Michael is still around, and the two slowly, carefully start talking again. The truth about what broke them apart comes out gradually over the course of the book, and it reframes a lot of what Darby thought he knew about that period of his life.
What makes the book unusual is what it chooses not to do. It doesn't let Darby heroically rewrite his past. The bookstore shows him glimpses of who he might have been if things had gone differently — and it genuinely is a version of a good life — but it's not his life, and the novel is honest about that. You can't step back into 2009 and come out a different person in the present. What you can do is understand yourself better, forgive yourself for what you didn't know, and decide what to do with the time you actually have left.
By the end, Darby has to make a real decision about where he belongs — Oak Falls or New York — and what kind of life he wants to build going forward. The answer isn't tidy, but it feels true. show less

I was initially drawn in by Darby’s internal conflicts and the complicated relationship with ‘home’ and childhood born of his queerness and transness. His memories of his teenage years were all warped through the lens of this hidden turmoil he had no name for at the time. And it stuck that way; even as an adult far from his hometown, he carried that childhood turmoil. The use of the time travel element as a device to reframe this time of his life, allowing him to see that wider, adult perspective, hooked me. However, I wasn’t fully satisfied with how it played out. The magical element went fairly underused. I like how the story showed the compromises of either finding a more accepting place to build a home or making a place for show more yourself as a queer person in the home you already have through Darby and his friend Michael’s decisions. Similarly, I enjoyed how Darby as an adult was able to see more in his hometown and the possibilities for a life and a community there than his isolated, confused teenage self did and how he tried to provide the kinship his younger self was lacking. But Darby‘s character development still ended up feeling a little weak. show less

As I was reading Edward Underhill's first adult novel, I started noticing that the plot was moving rather slowly for a romance. Eventually I realized that The In-Between Bookstore is a not actually a romance. It uses small-town, second-chance romance tropes, but they're primarily employed in the service of the MC's personal journey.

Darby Madden left his small Illinois hometown for New York City as soon as he graduated from high school. Eighteen years later, New York is home. It's where he came out as trans and found a friendship group of other queers. But he's newly unemployed and at loose ends, so when his Mom tells him she is moving from their childhood home to a condo, he drives 13 hours to Oak Falls so he can help her. He'll stay show more long enough to make sure she's settled, while he brainstorms a new place to live and new job opportunities back in the Big Apple.

He almost immediately runs into Michael Weaver, his childhood BFF who inexplicably ghosted Darby right before their senior year. It's not surprising that Michael still lives in Oak Falls and teaches high school. But Darby is shocked to learn that Michael holds him responsible for for the demise of their friendship.

Darby's favorite place in Oak Falls was always In Between Books, where he worked and hung out with Michael. But it's more than nostalgia when he steps inside the shop and realizes that the familiar-looking salesclerk is himself - the 17 year old version of himself back in 2009 - when Darby was deep in the closet and Michael was still his bestie. Darby wonders if he's been given an opportunity to rewrite history. If he can get enough information out of "Young Darby" to figure out where it went wrong with Michael, perhaps he can change the future and preserve their friendship.

I'll try to avoid spoilers but I will say that almost none of the assumptions I made about the plot were accurate. Yes, Michael turns out to be gay and yes, Darby realizes that even a small Midwestern town can have a close-knit queer community. But if you're feeling Sweet Home Alabama crossed with 13 Going on 30 vibes, you need to stop watching so many rom-coms.

The choices Darby makes about his future feel very true to the character. Looking back at my 2023 review of Underhill's debut YA novel, [b:Always the Almost|60784592|Always the Almost|Edward Underhill|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1652393694l/60784592._SY75_.jpg|92834586], I noted that the trans MC was fully developed, but the Love Interest was bland. So maybe Edward Underhill's heart really lies in exploring trans journeys, which may or may not include the romance novel version of HEA.

ARC received from Net Galley in exchange for review. show less

This novel kept seeming like it was just about to really get going, but just never applied the gas. For a book with an amazing concept about change and the growth of self-knowledge—unexplained time travel introduces a man to his younger self before he came out as trans—there was just so little change or self-knowledge for this character. It was amazing, in a disappointing way, how little actual growth there was between his older and younger selves, and how little change or growth happened for him at all, in any time, between the start and end of the novel.

This book was a huge disappointment for me. The idea—trans man meets his (perceived as female by others) teenage self self. But the adult man is every bit as whiny and self-obsessed as his teen self is—maybe more so. And, yes, he grows and learns, but I just don't need that kind of insecurity and self-hate. I'm giving it 3 stars because I do think there are readers this title might work for, but it didn't work for me.

I received a free electronic review copy of this title from the publisher via NetGalley; the opinions are my own.

I love any story involving a bookstore, and this is no exception. Our trans masc protagonist worked at the In-Between Bookstore in high school, and finds himself transported back there when he has to move home after losing a job. He steps inside and sees his teenage self behind the counter. Is this a chance to make sure his teen self understand that it will get better from here? Can he prevent the complete meltdown of a valuable friendship? The answers lie in between these covers. Ha ha.

Interesting premise, main character has a nicely relatable reaction to time travel, but just couldn't get into it. Maybe too much slow burn?