The Surrendered Wife : A Practical Guide to Finding Intimacy, Passion, and Peace with Your Man

Има нещо странно в семейните отношения в САЩ. Очевидно стереотипът на всезнаещата, контролираща целия семеен живот съпруга и тъпия мъж под чехъл, който не може едно нещо да свърши като хората, не е само клише от комедийните сериали (Малкълм, Всички обичат Реймънд, Царя на квартала...) - щом хората пишат книги по въпроса... От които можем да научим добри неща за собственото си личностно и семейно развитие, макар show more да нямам наблюдения дали подобни отношения имат почва у нас или до каква степен.

Всъщност, The Surrendered Wife е нещо като наръчник на американската жена как да бъде просто човек - не да се прави на супер-майка, супер-домакиня и супер-професионалист едновременно, ами да се предаде, да каже "ами не мога аз да контролирам всичко в тази къща!" и да "позволи" (явно много не позволяват) на съпруга си да поема известна част от семейните задължения и отговорности, без да го контролира. От което на нея ще й стане по-леко, а самочувствието на мъжа й, както и интимността в семейството само ще спечелят.

Докато Fascinating Womanhood описва един по-стар във времето и по-патриархален начин за съвместен живот, настоящата книга е по-нова и авторката дори се самоопределя като феминистка. Макар че, ако съдя по коментарите, феминистките получават нервни кризи при вида на нейните идеи - че видите ли, жената може да си бъде женствена и да не се опитва постоянно да тъпче мъжа си :Р

Някои глави на The Surrendered Wife отварят очите не само на жените, ако съдя по себе си - тази за приемането на комплименти и подаръци ми влезе особено тежко и мисля, че е задължителна за всеки. show less

This is a rough one to review. The practical how-to-surrender stuff is very valuable. Valuable enough that I’ll hold onto the book and reference it again.

On the other hand, the general philosophy is lacking, and not because I’m at all offended by highly patriarchal marriage roles (I’m significantly more of an “evil woman-hating fascist” than the the author). Laura Doyle is a feminist who admits she made up her own “god” to be whatever she likes. Worst of all was the admonition that we need to just accept our husbands watching pornography and its related activities because “98% of men masturbate and 2% lie.”

So wrong on so many levels, most especially her ideas that pornography is normal and should be acceptable! Sad. I show more also don’t like one section that basically says to tolerate your husband treating your kids poorly as long as it isn’t physical. Also, in her mind, verbal abuse should mostly be tolerated under many conditions. Again, big nope.

At one point she suggests that you never correct your husband to the point of LETTING THEM DRIVE ACROSS THE STATE LINE IN THE WRONG DIRECTION. I’m sorry, my very humble, practical husband would be super mad at me if I did this, lol. This book goes a bit far in assuming men can’t handle any assistance or even correction, though in general most women (me included) err too far on the side of distrust and nitpicking.

Overall, I’d still recommend this, but only to those who understand God given roles in marriage and who know when their situation warrants separation (this author also clearly has no problem with divorce and remarriage when it’s warranted in her narrow view of true abuse).

For people like myself, there is a ton of helpful info in here. I consider my marriage pretty great, but at times I still struggle with control and the resulting anxiety and I need the reminder that I don’t have to carry the world on my shoulders. :) show less

This turned out to be a completely different book from what I had expected from the media fuss. Most chapters are actually good, common-sense advice such as you might find in any self-help manual. There is more encouragement to women to stand up for themeselves than to submit to their husbands: take care of yourself first, express your desires, foster friendships with women, don't try to read your husband's mind, set boundaries. Unfortunately, the chapters that do deal with submission portray it as a manipulative, passive-aggressive way of getting what you want. The famous example that was pilloried in the media about not telling your husband if he takes the wrong turning does not actually appear in the book in anything like the form show more reported. show less

I heard about the book and had to find out what it was really about. I was suprised that it was not so much about being a female doormat as about not being a nagging pecking hen of a wife. The irony is that most nagging controlling pecking hens (I'm thinking of a few of my own relatives here) wouldn't recognize themselves and thus wouldn't back off of their husbands. I don't agree with everything the author says, but I was relieved that it wasn't suggesting that women turn their brains off and blindly do whatever their spouses say or want, no matter what.

This book was given to me by a dear friend that thought I may benefit from it. Needless to say, I was so not interested in reading it! However, after reading the book - after many moments of "I'm not like that", I applied the principles the author suggested and slowly, over time, amazing results were seen. The book is not about being a subserviant wife, but a submissive wife, which basically means that you get along better with your husband, not walk two paces behind him. The principles can easily be applied to other interpersonal relationships also with maximum benefits, I believe. The author basically encourages the reader to think less about themselves and more about caring for thier significant other. Definately worth the read!

NO OF PAGES: 285 SUB CAT I: Male-Female Roles SUB CAT II: Marriage SUB CAT III: DESCRIPTION: Like millions of women, Laura Doyle wanted her marriage to be better. But when she tried to get her husband to be more romantic, helpful and ambitious, he withdrew - and she was lonely and exhausted from controlling everything. Desperate to be in love with her man again, she decided to stop telling him what to do and how to do it. When Doyle surrendered control, something magical happened. The union she had always dreamed of appeared. The man who had wooed her was back. The underlying principle of "The Surrendered Wife" is simple: The control women wield at work and with children must be left at the front door of any marriage to revitalize show more intimacy.NOTES: Purchased from Amazon.Com SUBTITLE: A Practical Guide to Finding Intimacy, Passion, and Peace With a Man show less