I've become so cynical of self help books in the past few years that I almost didn't pick this one up, despite countless people recommending it to me. I'm so glad I was able to overcome my skepticism of the industry as a whole to grab "I Need Your Love - Is That True?" As a perpetual people pleaser, I didn't just read this book; I devoured it!

Full disclosure: a few years ago, I learned a version of "The Work" from another coach. I see now that what she was teaching was a diluted and much less impactful version of Byron Katie's inquiry.

Reading this book felt like I was having a heart-to-heart conversation with a wise friend who isn't afraid to ask some very tough questions, but in a loving and understanding manner. Katie doesn't tiptoe around the uncomfortable realities of seeking validation and love. Instead, she asks: "Do you really need someone else's approval to feel worthy?" Spoiler alert: The journey to answering that question is transformative.

I love that this book didn't just preach about compassion; it showed me how to be truly compassionate with myself, which, in turn, transforms my interactions with others. It's one thing to be told to practice self-love and acceptance, but it's another to be handed the tools to do so effectively and to see immediate, applicable changes in your life. This book does just that, making it an invaluable companion for anyone on the path to self-discovery. ( )

method for asking yourself questions to examine emotions which are disturbing you ( )

I don't really know what to make of this book, so I went with 3 stars.

On the one hand I understand some of the things she is saying, such as it is impossible to change someone, and that rather than being angry and hateful, you can move on rather than staying in the relationship being in pain and bitter all the time.

That said her concept of 'staying in your business ' and we cause our own suffering no matter the words or actions of others, are a lot harder for me to swallow. She used an example of a cheating husband and saying it is 'his business ' who he sleeps with. Huh ? If I am married to him, it automatically becomes my business. I am also not a fan of believing we choose our own suffering when we are victimized by unbelievably cruel treatment, especially when we are young and can not fight back against parents and harsh unrelenting words.

I have to cherry pick this book - take what I find helpful, leave the rest behind. ( )

Good concepts, interesting view of compartmentalizing life. ( )

I Need Your Love - Is That True?
How To Find All The Love, Approval And Appreciation You Ever Wanted
by Byron Katie
Michael Katz


This book is a way out for people pleasers and co-dependents every where. I felt the love right from the beginning and as I saw Byron's smiling face on the cover I just knew I was in capable and gentle hands. I was totally impressed by the way she took each of my excuses and broke them down so I could see them for the lies and stumbling blocks they are.

Contained within this fabulous doorway out of pain I found wonderful topics like seeking approval, controlling relationships, and many many more, each with examples and exercises of how to move on to happier and healthier pastures. The key to loving others is to first loving yourself, a simple concept but one that had eluded me for years. From the help offered in this book I am getting more of a glimpse of freedom and hope to finally putting me first. I would recommend this book to anyone who like myself struggles with relationships of all kinds and really wants to learn new ways to not lose yourself.

Love & Light,

Riki Frahmann ( )