Vampire Breath (Goosebumps #49)

You know what? I'm just going to come out and say it: I liked the ending of this book.

I know, I know. I wrote a review for another Goosebumps book that had a deus ex machina ending, and I hated it. What's different about this one is just that it came out of left field and actually made me laugh, and for that, it gets props for at least being entertaining enough to have caught me off guard.

Still, that doesn't make this a GOOD story, even by children's horror standards. It does start out pretty strong: the main characters are friends and rivals who like to beat and batter one another, while scaring the kid across the street with horror stories. They get into a bit of shenanigans, find a secret door that leads to a secret hallway, which show more leads further into a secret room with a vampire in a coffin and a mysterious blue bottle that holds the eponymous Vampire's Breath.

That part? That was great. It was actually quite tense, and full of mystery to what was behind that door, how it got there, and why a vampire was hidden in the first place, and could have been an excellent exploration of secrets and more. It's the stuff afterwards that just felt like it was phoned in, since it relied heavily on horror tropes, and an abundant overuse of descriptions about the vampire's eyes, how he flaps his cape, how his skin looked shrunken, and other repetitions that felt like it was merely padding things out.

I get it: This is a book series for children ages 7 to 11 who are starting to read longer stories, and it is a way to ease them into reading novels. I know this because I'm one of those children from back in the day. I used to collect Goosebumps, trade them with my friends, and spend my allowance at book fairs to get all the latest Goosebumps books, posters, and more. I couldn't get enough of it as a kid, and even at 40, I still love this stuff for what it is!

But, as much as I like vampires, there are still better Goosebumps books out there that are genuinely scary by children's standards and don't rely on deus ex machina endings that don't really solve the story, but raise questions. Plus, those better books also don't rely heavily on repetitive scenes, meandering characters who come into the story, only to disappear without relevance, and a looming threat that is literally toothless. Plus, there are even genuinely terrifying books aimed for children of this demographic that are scary and will leave children with nightmares.

Overal I have to rate this book at a 2. It's not the worst R.L Stine book out there (mostly because I suspect he outsourced this one to a ghost writer), but it's not great. If I were a child, I'd read this one only after I've exhausted the other good Goosebumps books, and if I were an adult, I'd read it as an afternoon treat to feel like a kid again. show less

## Open wide and say... mouthwash!

Vampire Breath has one of the series' most clever twist endings, but the story itself is underwhelming, to say the least. Like many of R.L. Stine's weakest stories, the plot seems held together by unrelated happenstance that doesn't do the subject -- vampires, in this case -- any justice. The pressure of a monthly publishig schedule surely wasn't helping nearly 50 books into the original Goosebumps series.

[N.B. This review includes images, and was formatted for my site, dendrobibliography -- located here.]

What's unusual is that the set-up promises a completely different story. Freddy and his friend Cara are telling scary stories to their neighbor, Tyler: Stories of werewolves creeping up behind him show more during the full moon, heaving a sour werewolf breath on his neck before tearing him to pieces. The entire babysitting scenario ends up having no relationship to the rest of the story.

Freddy and Cara stumble upon a secret room in Freddy's basement. The inside, bizarrely, resembles a castle -- greatly contrasting with the typical suburban home -- and houses nothing but a coffin and a glass bottle that says...Vampire Breath. There's also a vampire hiding in the coffin. A feeble, old vampire with no fangs.

The vampires of this story have almost no relationship with vampires as we know them; they come either from the 1931 movie -- cape and all -- or Stine's imagination. The Vampire Breath of the title is a powerful gas that all vampires must ingest once a day in order to stay alive. It also, like Monster Blood, does just about anything imaginable, including powering invisibility, their memories, and enabling time travel.

Freddy and Cara travel back in time to a 19th-century castle infested with scores of vampires and Vampire Breath. They must help the vampire find his fangs, all while hoping to get back to the 1990s without being turned into vampires themselves. The plot actually goes out of its way to ridicule vampires and make them weak and boring, contradictory to the threat the heroes feel.

## I tried to imagine what it would be like living here in this castle. Sleeping all day in a coffin.
## Rising up at night and turning into a bat. Flying out night after night in search of necks to bite.
## Forever.
## Just thinking about it made me shake with horror.

The element of time travel and vampires that act nothing like vampires made this story too silly and nonsensical for me to appreciate. Abandoning all the foreshadowing from the first 20 pages doesn't help, either. The twist ending was great, but nothing much else worked.

R.L. Stine's Goosebumps (1992–1997):
#48 Attack of the Jack-O'-Lanterns | #50 Calling All Creeps! show less

Freddy Martinez and his friend Cara uncover a hidden room in Freddy’s basement and release a mysterious bottle labeled “Vampire Breath.” Unwittingly, they awaken Count Nightwing—an ancient vampire in search of his elixir. What begins as a basement dare spirals into a supernatural chase, blending eerie suspense and spooky humor in a short, potent Goosebumps tale.

[b: Vampire Breath|783218|Vampire Breath (Goosebumps, #49)|R.L. Stine|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1332014016s/783218.jpg|3062634] was at least a bit better than [b: Werewolf of Fever Swamp|865736|The Werewolf of Fever Swamp (Goosebumps, #14)|R.L. Stine|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1389235883s/865736.jpg|870702] in that the creature existed for more than like, five pages. The Vampire was introduced fairly early in and you get to see some of the classical creature actions. You also get to wonder how a vampire loses its fangs and what exactly Vampire Breath is made of if not... Vampire Breath itself. I mean, that was never really explained or made sense of. Ever.

Two pugnacious friend knock over a china cabinet and destroy show more priceless china therein only to discover a door, a tunnel, and a coffin with a bottle of Vampire Breath. They knock open the bottle due to more idiotic wrestling, and... COUNT NIGHTWING appears. Seriously. Count Nightwing. Are you even trying? Apparently vampires are nothing without Vampire Breath and use it to get all of their powers. I don't even know.

This book was entertaining. It was very much Vampire Lite, but it included the old castle, barred windows, and ultimately a twist at the end that made more sense than [a: R.L. Stine|13730|R.L. Stine|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1194380070p2/13730.jpg]'s twists usually do. I was definitely entertained and giggling a fair bit throughout. Very fun sort of book for a kid. One of the better Goosebumps entries. show less

Rating adjusted for age. This is an adorable Goosebumps book, probably the most consistently humorous one I've read. These are a delight to hear in Audiobook on scribd, the narrator Vikas Adam keeps it fun. Count Nightwing, on the look for his missing fangs, is an absolutely hoot. The ending was fun - recommended if you're kids like these or if you want a light and cute audiobook to play in the background.

Friends Freddy and Cara are playing around in the basement when they knock over a cabinet, revealing a hidden door. Of course they go through, following a tunnel that leads them to an empty coffin. All they find, at first, is a blue bottle marked "Vampire Breath", which they fight over and wish they hadn't.
Better than average.

Freddy and Cara are a couple of obnoxious characters that enjoy roughhousing. When they discover a vampire and get stuck in his time, the reader isn't sure whether to sympathize or hope that the vampire gets them. Luckily they make it back to their own time where they discover that Freddy's whole family are vampires and the spooky guy from his basement is just his grandpa. Lucky for Cara he doesn't have teeth yet.