Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves--and How to Find Our Way Back

I really love this style of non-fiction. So often books with both theory and anecdotes become kind of trite. But Dr. Clayton uses storytelling in such a compelling way that if anything, I wanted to keep reading about her life and struggles. This book was not revolutionary for me personally, as someone with an understanding of what fawning is and how it works, but it would have been had I read it a year ago. It was still incredibly odd to feel so seen and understood. Do prepare to cry.

This book is not perfect. It's got more of the author's own life in it than I prefer, and Clayton invokes two individuals whose writings I find insufferable, but it also brings together so many elements that speak to me and puts different experiences, relationships, and reactions into context. It offers validation, research (such as it is), and actionable suggestions, and these are valuable enough to me that the positives outweigh the negatives.