I'm Afraid You've Got Dragons

What an odd little story. I love Peter S. Beagle's other works so when I saw he had written a cozy fantasy I was excited to give it a try. I'm Afraid You've Got Dragons is more of a dark fairy tale adventure than it is a cozy fantasy IMO. Once I was able to let go of my expectations for something cozy, I had fun with this tale.

Gaius Aurelius Constantine Heliogabalus Thrax, who prefers people call him Robert, has inherited his deceased father's job as a dragon exterminator, a career he detests. Princess Cerise is determined to receive Crown Prince Reginald with the old castle looking its best and so the royal family hires Robert is hired to disinfest the entire castle. Things get more odd from here.

You have the makings of a fairy tale show more with some modern touches - a reluctant hero, a princess not in distress, a prince on a quest of sorts, an evil wizard out for revenge, and, of course, dragons. The story is a confusing mix of genres as it winds in and out of YA/Middle Grade, adult dark fairy tale, a touch of romance, a bit of whimsy bordering on surreal and back again, yet never quite settling on one. I did like that all the characters the shared the same theme of feeling trapped in their roles and learning that they have the ability to choose different fates if they wished. Our heroes were likable and easy to root for and the villain was sufficiently villainous. What was really sad was the treatment of dragons. It is this aspect that makes things darker as the extermination portion is given a lot more page time and detail than I expected, which moved things out of cozy territory for me.

The story ends with most of the loose ends tied up though still slightly open ended should the author ever wish to write more in this world. I'm glad I read the book though I don't see myself ever revisiting this one the way I do The Last Unicorn. show less

Robert Thrax is a dragon exterminator who hates his job (he secretly loves dragons and has a real affinity with them) and dreams of being anything else. Princess Cerise of Bellemontagne turns away dozens of eligible princes every month, until Crown Prince Reginald of Corvinia catches her eye. But Prince Reginald never meant to court the princess; he was only out adventuring with the king's valet Mortmain, looking for a suitable task to prove to his father he is eligible to inherit the throne. When the three meet up, Mortmain hatches a plan: Reginald will learn from Robert how to kill a dragon (or perhaps Robert will kill the dragon and Reginald will take the credit).

But their dragon-killing adventure goes tragically pear-shaped, and show more they realize that there's something behind these new, huge, murderous dragons...the wizard Dahr, who King Krije killed (but not permanently, it seems). Dahr has big ambitions and is out for vengeance, but he's no match for Reginald, Robert, and Cerise.

Royalty, dragons, some dry humor (the valets' negotiations were hilarious) and not one but two love triangles (Ostvald-Elfrieda-Robert and Robert-Cerise-Reginald) make for a satisfying fantasy with the feeling of a classic.

See also: Terry Pratchett, Dealing With Dragons by Patricia C. Wrede, The Last Dragonslayer by Jasper Fforde

Quotes

...but sincerity has a way of trumping circumstance... (40)

There's just something upsetting about getting what we want. (Queen Helene to Cerise, 95)

It was like picking their way through a nightmare, and soon enough even the quiet praying stopped. (122)

"Fear cannot breed where there is action." (Reginald, 124)

"[He is] neither what he thinks he is, nor what he dreams of being." (Dahr re: Robert, 167) show less

I remember loving Peter S. Beagle’s The Last Unicorn and A Fine and Private Place decades ago. But then, a long wait. I’m Afraid You’ve Got Dragons, first announced as a novella in 2007, was rescheduled for 2015. But vapor. At 84, Beagle has at last produced a full novel with multiple coming-of-age threads, some fresh dragon lore, and satire that tweaks all the fantasy tropes.

Beagle still has a deft hand with characters. His protagonist, Robert, who has a long, pretentious name he would rather not use, has inherited his father’s pest control business. The pests, of course, are dragons. He does his exterminating job, but he would really rather raise them as pets. He thinks of himself as an everyday working stiff, but when he is show more hired to help a prince build his rep by killing a big dragon, he discovers that he loves a princess and has heroic potential, whether he wants it or not.

Cerise, the princess in question, is a practical girl who hides out every day to teach herself to read, though royals are supposed to be above mundane literacy. And there is Prince Reginald, whose sex appeal is a burden. He would rather have a gap year, or maybe two. Toss in an evil wizard and a valet who knows more about being a prince than his royal boss, and you have enough material for a three-volume epic, but instead, we have a tightly crafted story of less than 300 pages. The book got some so-so reviews because readers were disappointed not to get the full epic treatment. I like it just like it is. show less

Imagine you're a princess about to meet a dreamy prince, and a pest control person tells you, "I'm afraid you have roaches." Well, in this world, Cerise is the princess, Reginald is the dreamy crown prince, and Robert is the pest exterminator. Substitute "dragons" for roaches, but Robert likes dragons and even has a few as pets.

Tropes are overturned, characters find themselves, and evil is battled. What a wonderful story is told within those parameters! And I leave you with this quotation:

My mother, sometimes she says that everybody in the world is a donkey with the heart of a lion. Everybody. Only most people don’t ever discover it—they don’t have to, they get along all right just being donkeys. But it’s there, always, if you show more really need it. If you really want to find it. If you look for it.

Go ahead and read this minor masterpiece. Just don't go into it with preconceived ideas. show less

I know very little about Peter S. Beagle (if I ever read the classic [b:The Last Unicorn|29127|The Last Unicorn (The Last Unicorn, #1)|Peter S. Beagle|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1524764327l/29127._SY75_.jpg|902304], it was decades ag0), and the title of his latest book led me to believe that it was going to be a light-hearted story. Nope. While there is definitely humor to be found, especially in the scenes with the well-intentioned but totally useless Crown Prince Reginald, the plot goes to some very dark, disturbing places. Those cute baby dragons that our hero Robert keeps as pets? The ones that should get their own Disney movie? It's his job to exterminate or capture scores of their bigger show more kinfolk. Those who aren't killed go to the marketplace to meet a grisly fate that I wish I could forget.

But once I adjusted my expectations, I became engrossed in the deceptively simple plot and enchanted by the trope-turned-on-its-head characters (even Reginald). Within a fairy tale framework, issues of responsibility, expectations, heroism, and love are deftly explored. While there are no cliffhangers, the answer to "what's next?" for our MCs, given the dramatic changes in their lives, is wide open. Considering the author's octogenarian status, and the fact that this book was in publishing limbo for almost 20 years, we may never be blessed with an official sequel. But maybe it's better that way. I know Robert, Cerise, Reginald, Ostvald and Elfrieda well enough now that I can give my imagination free rein to craft their next adventures. (Yes, I know that's why god invented fanfic, but I'd rather let the characters live rent-free in my brain.)

I'm open to recommendations about where to begin my journey into Beagle's backlist! show less

What am I supposed to say about Peter Beagle's newest work? Will fantasy tropes be elegantly twisted? Yes. Will the word-smithing be impeccable? Yes. Will the wit be dry? Yes.

That said, to get to the personal transformations that the main characters will undergo seem to be a little rushed in the end, with there being a little too much build-up for the page-count in question. Possibly a commentary on the work needed to establish three strong POV characters in a convincing fashion in the space allowed. This meant that when the real menace rears its ugly head, it felt a little like it was coming out of nowhere. However, these are mostly quibbles about a book that demonstrates Beagle is still capable of writing top-notch fantasy.

Robert Thrax is a dragon exterminator, and he hates it. He inherited the job from his father, and there's always plenty of work -- dragons in Bellemontagne range from pocket-size to the size of large dogs, and clearing an infestation can be both messy and dangerous. After a hard day's work, the last thing he wants is to be called to the castle to deal with several years' work of neglect because a suitor has just arrived for the princess, but when royalty calls, their subjects must answer. This suitor, it turns out, has an interest in slaying one of the larger mountain dragons as an heroic quest to impress his father, so Robert gets caught up in these plans -- only to discover that something much larger, and crueler, is waiting in the show more mountains...

This book has an amazing title, and I bought it partially for that reason, and partially because I read The Last Unicorn back in my teen years, though I don't remember much about it beyond a faint positive association. I feel faintly positive about this book, too. It seems to me like it's trying to be both funny and serious, and doesn't go far enough in either direction. I'd probably only recommend it to hardcore fans of either the author or the genre. I don't mind having read it, but I don't plan to keep a copy in my permanent collection. show less