I Am My Own Wife: The True Story of Charlotte von Mahlsdorf

I am still catching up on reviews. Reading and reviewing seem to be in constant competition for my spare time at the moment, except of course reading mostly wins.

Anyway, this little book was one I would never have heard of if it had not been a review on Booklikes. A few weeks later I noticed the book at an airport.

So, much for "amateur" reviews not being of any value to the book industry. Ha!

I have read the German edition of the book, but it has been published in English as I am my own wife.

It's a slightly peculiar title. It's a book that is kinda hard to describe, too.

The Amazon blurb tries to sell it as follows:

"A soft-spoken transvestite wanting nothing more than to live as a hausfrau, Charlotte von Mahlsdorf instead was show more caught up in the most harrowing dramas of 20th century Europe, surviving both the Nazis and the Communists. This is her exquisitely written biography where she reveals her lifelong pursuit of sexual liberty. With the success of a new play about Charlotte, hailed by The New York Times as the 'most stirring new work to appear on Broadway this fall', her story is reaching an entirely new readership of enthusiastic theatre fans."

It is a somewhat inaccurate description as the book is not so much about her pursuit of sexual liberty as about her pursuit of preservation - be it the preservation of antique furniture, art, or memories.

It is a fascinating read in that Charlotte lived through an era which could not have been any less tolerant, and indeed has more than once been close to death simply for being herself. Yet, astonishingly, her story isn't about injustice and cruelty. A lot of the memories she tries to preserve are about defiance and kindness.

It's an interesting book, by someone who seems to have been an interesting person. show less

Gay transvestite, teenage years in Berlin, growing up in the German Democratic Republic (GDR), spells out the problematic life of Charlotte von Mahlsdorf. In the last year of the war, 1945, aged 17, Lothar murdered his father, was forced to undergo psychiatric treatment and then imprisoned, and released as the Third Reich collapsed.

I haven't read many memoirs that describe life in Berlin during the war, and subsequently, maturing in the GDR. Besides old men with a taste for SM, Lothar was attracted to all other old things, knowing well the value, as during the war he had worked in second-hand and antiquities shops, clearing out the houses of deported Jewish families. After the war, he continues this style of acquisition, by carting off show more the possessions of emigrants. He sets himself up in an abandoned castle, presumably imitating the grand lifestyle of late nineteenth century aristocratic bourgeoisie. To make money, he starts giving tours, and gradually his collection and mansion are turned into a museum. There is some, but very little, about the emergence of a gay sub-culture in the GDR, in which Charlotte von Mahlsdorf in known to have played a prominent role.

This life story is clearly an attempt to idealize. The author emphasises hard work, historic conservation and femininity. The reader gets to know very little about the author's (sexual) relationships, although there are some hints, and it is useful to carefully study all photos and the photo captions. The author has been criticised for concealing parts of his life, history, and motives, but we may well assume that hiding and misrepresentation were second nature to the author. show less