Swish: My Quest to Become the Gayest Person Ever

This book was recommended to me because LOVE David Sedaris' work. Well, Joel Derfner is no David Sedaris.

Please, don't get me wrong, there were plenty of times throughout the book I chuckled. But for the most part, I was impatient with the book. I found Joel to be whiny and needy; like he thought that by being the "gayest person ever" meant living the stereotype. I kept wanting to shout out, "Where's the real Joel?? When do we get to meet him?" We do, but in short spurts.

I finished the book thinking, that if Joel could/would get over himself, and just be "Joel", then he might be someone I would love to have as a friend. I related to this narrative more than I thought I would (me being a heterosexual woman, what could I have in common show more with the gayest man ever?). A lot of his fears, concerns and experiences are universal. You don't have to be gay to feel insecure, to have doubts, to try to discover yourself.

I am not sorry I read this book; I just found myself wishing that Joel would realize his potential at greatness just by being Joel and not having to contrive an image of himself. show less

Swish by Joel Derfner is a memoir of growing up, being gay and trying to figure out what all that means at a deeply personal level.

Although the subtitle, My Quest to Become the Gayest Person Ever, implies fluff — it's not. Sure, there are moments of humor and Derfner's voice comes through as genuine throughout, but it's certainly not fluff. In terms of tone, it reminds me most of Drew Carey's memoir, Dirty Jokes and Beer.

The second chapter, On Casual Sex, isn't for the Puritan minded reader. It's frank description of numerous sexual encounters. It's a fascinating, depressing, and sometimes mind-boggling chapter. All the chapters take their stated subject with a similar, in depth, obsessed focus.

Mostly though, Swish, asks the reader to show more reconsider every last gender and sexual orientation stereotype. Reading through the different chapters is like watching Derfner trying each stereotypically gay thing and seeing if it will make him happy.

So did Derfner convince me that he's the gayest person ever? No. Did I enjoy reading the book? Mostly. Will I remember the book? Yes. Do I recommend the book? Yes. show less

I bought this book as a "light" read for the beach. I am not male, gay, nor am I Jewish, so after a chapter or 2 I wondered if I really should continue this book. I was very pleasantly surprised to enjoy it so much I wished it would not end. Joel tells the story of his life in 7 different "gay" affections, knitting, casual sex, cheer-leading, dating, teaching aerobics, musical theater, go-go dancing and the final chapter, "Exodus", which is a group that feels that through Jesus all gay people can become heterosexual. He tells his story perfectly, sometimes funny, sometimes sad and with an insight and intelligence that we all should aspire to. Anyone who knows or loves someone who is gay should read this book. And if you have a "problem" show more with the gay lifestyle, you should read this book too. Joel shows that he is no different then every person who is looking for the perfect person in their life...he just looks for the same sex, as opposed to the opposite sex. show less

When I saw this book's title at the lending library in our building I knew I just had to read it. Amusing, snarky yet thoughtful and introspective at times. Led me to think a lot about the self doubt of others with seemingly fabulous lives.

Contrary to what the jacket copy promises, this is not one long hilarious romp. It does have moments wherein I dissolved in helpless, snorting laughter though. It's much more memoir than humor, and memoir with insight and angst. I enjoyed it a lot, but found Derfner's repetitive inner self-hating monologue tedious at best.

This odd collection that seems cobbled together by blog posts in the beginning. The first half of the book is amusing, but not captivating. The tone changes abruptly in the last section, becoming far more thoughtful and interseting.

This author is exceptionally funny and bright. This is the third memoirs I've read recently by Southern gay boys (Mississippi Sissy and The Memoirs of a Beautiful Boy). All three equally as compelling, equally as astonishing, and equally as different from the other. Bravo Joel Derfner!