Entre Nous: A Woman's Guide to Finding Her Inner French Girl

There is plenty to love about Debra Ollivier's Entre Nous: A Woman's Guide to Finding Her Inner French Girl, but you have to take is with a grain of sel. French women are justifiably famous for their poise, style, and general savoir-faire, so there is appeal in a book that sets out to teach American women how to emulate their Gallic sisters.

But the sisterhood Ollivier holds up as a model is laughably elite. The 'French girl' she describes lives in Paris, works at some chi chi job like 'restor[ing] the muted shades of an eighteenth century fresco,' and has a family chateau in a medieval village in Dordogne. That would be like saying a typical 'American girl' is a San Francisco magazine editor with a family vineyard in Napa, or a handbag show more designer in Manhattan who escapes to the 25-room family 'cottage' Down East for the summer.

But if you can accept Ollivier's idealized vision of the emblematic French female – which spills over to a generally romanticized view of all things French, especially its socialized economy – you can appreciate her suggestions on how to attain the je ne sais quoi French women do seem to enjoy.

For instance, Ollivier discusses how to develop a sense of self-possession French women demonstrate, how to appreciate life more sensually, how to value quality over quantity, and how to cultivate a deep discretion about your personal and family life. Ollivier discusses these qualities as they relate to several areas, including personal satisfaction, friends and entertaining, and careers.

Most enjoyable were the sidebars throughout the book that provide mini-biographies on French women, film and book recommendations, suggestions on how to follow the example of French women, and information about French life and customs.

There is an inherent irony a self-help book purporting to teach American women to be more like French women who, Ollivier tells us, are so bien dans sa peau – comfortable in their own skin – that they would never read a self-help book. C'est la vie.

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After having spend another wonderful weekend in Paris, I spotted this book at our local library and thought - how lovely! One cannot help but notice the wonderfully poised girls and women all over Paris and there certainly is much truth in the French, both women and man, for that matter, owing a lot of what they are made of to their very limiting tradition and education. Discipline is good for you, many would say. And yes, French kids are politer then some others, and mostly well-behaved. But as someone mentioned before, it is the well-to-do kids and their intellectual parents Ollivier is looking at. They certainly are a part of life in France, probably especially in Paris, and although they may not represent the average, and not the show more majority, they is something special about them, something one may want to examine more closely and see whether it is worth following as an example.
It would be hard not to notice Ollivier's enthusiasm for all things French, and I love the extra reference boxes with suggestions for movies and books etc. which support or digress on whatever is being discussed. The books is both a simple and charming start for a newly discovered franco-filles, if you will excuse my pun. show less

Ollivier takes us through the various facets of a French woman's life. The pros: the book is neatly divided into categories such as mentalities, dress, traditions, leisure, home life, etc. There are little asides for films and books for further reading; most observations are true although not always on the mark. The cons: Ollivier makes sweeping generalizations that are sometimes frankly annoying; this book is all about the advantages and not at all about the disadvantages of France - even the negative (like the way the French treat their dogs) is portrayed as positive; she misses some key trademarks like how the French mix generations and include the young, middle age and old in most their activities; although she does sometimes talks show more positively of Americans she mostly portrays them as vastly inferior to the French (I know many a French person who has left France for the more breathable, welcoming, open American society). A quick read, this book is not a huge investment of time so it's worth a detour, but I won't stake my perception of the French women on it - we're more than a stereotype. show less

I enjoyed the insight into the life of "the French girl" and sophistication, poise and maturity of the French. The sidebars on classic French movies and literature were interesting. Much of the book is stereotyping, about the French and the American cultures. I would have preferred a book that simply states "This is how the French are..." but instead Ollivier, an American married to a Frenchman, chooses to elevate the French by kicking the Americans. We are told how much better dressed the French woman is, how she reads rather than watching t.v., how she is capable of throwing together a delicious dinner party with minimal ingredients because she knows how to really entertain. Much of the book is romanticized- Ollivier's "French Girl" show more may exist, but she surely isn't the typical woman. show less

Debra Ollivier is a California girl who’s lived in France for 10 years. There she married her husband, had two children and discovered what being a French girl is all about, beyond the stereotype of thin and stylish. And let me tell you, it's not all about wine and cheese and fancy lingerie.

I’ve always had a soft spot for all things French. Some of my favorite authors are Jules Verne, Alexandre Dumas Pere, Anne Golon and I dream of being able to read their books without translation. The little black dress is an absolute must have and French onion soup and a piece of baguette make a perfect lunch. The little cafes seem beyond enchanting and La Vie En Rose makes me have goose bumps every time I hear it. And last but not least when I show more look at pictures of Marion Cotillard, Audrey Tatou and Juliette Binoche I admire their ability to look so effortlessly chic. It is no wonder then that I’ve been picking up books about French women and what gives them that mysterious and self-assured presence and the ability to look so put together no matter how casually they dress. My most recent find is this book and I’m glad to have stumbled upon it. At first glance it’s like All You Need To Be Impossibly French but that’s only at first glance.
This book talks about who the French girl is on the inside, as much as on the outside and it truly is a fun and thought-provoking read. Here Debora Ollivier talks about all the different aspects of a French girl’s life. She discusses the way she dresses, the way she takes care of herself and her family, the way she cooks and entertains, the way she works and spends her leisure time, but that’s not all. She also talks about the way the French girl raises her children, nourishes her mind and focuses on nurturing her true self, not changing her personality according to the latest fad self-help book. According to Mme. Ollivier the true French girl is discreet, selective, private and self-contained and her shape and size have little to do with her level of confidence because she knows who she is and she owns it completely and flaunts it without reservation. I don’t know about you, but taking a few pages out of a French girl’s book seemed like a good idea to me when I finished this volume.
Another aspect of this book that I really enjoyed is that in addition to the author’s insights into the French life we also got little fun tidbits like book and movie recommendations, interesting quotes, recipes and comparisons of life in the States and in France. I laughed out loud reading about Pere Noel and Santa Claus, Halloween in Paris and a block party to which the Parisians brought their fine china. The only thing about these tidbits that I didn’t like is that they appeared in the middle of a chapter, in the middle of a sentence even, and until I figured out to skip them until the chapter’s end and then go back to enjoy them separately I kept feeling interrupted all the time, which as any reader knows is rather annoying.
I would highly recommend this book to any Francophile girl out there for a look at the French girl through the eyes of a girl who’s become French in a way. You can tell she loves her homes on both sides of the Atlantic and that gives the whole thing the air of authenticity the real French girl cherishes so much.

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interesting reflection on French culture from an American 'girl's" point of view. Quick read-easy to pick up and put down. Appreciative of the list of good books, movies and cultural suggestions to further one's understanding of authentic French life, many of which I intend to pursue. (Made a quick list of books and films to locate online, TV and in the library...wish me luck!)

Written by an American who is married to a Frenchman, and who spent several years living in France, this book is an entertaining guide to the modern French girl. Full of sidebars with movie and book recommendations, as well as tips and trivia, it provides useful information on just what it is about the way they live their lives that make the French so intruiging to us Americans.