Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength

This book gives a very good description with life examples of what being an introvert is. Which was very fascinating because I am an introvert. In fact I have been an introvert all my life, but it was only the information that I learned in this book that I could put a name to what I was. It also showed me that just because I'm introvert doesn't mean that I'm broken or weird -- I'm just different. Plus by recognizing who I truly am I can accept what I am and how I work and discover how all that fits in with my life, my relationships, and my world.

THE BIG LIE -- The biggest lie is that introverts are in the minority but we are not. The stats have been skewed to say that but introverts are slightly more than half of the population at 57 show more percent. So this book would also be useful to all those extroverts because then they can appreciate us introverts for our uniqueness and strengths.

There is a tendency to categorize introvert behaviors as mental illness when actually they are a personality type. So when introverts are given what they need -- quiet, solitude, understanding, space, mutual respect -- we become the best introverts that we can be and actually complement extroverts to make everything better as a whole. -- ...as challenging as our extroverts may be, they provide a balance we crave. The introverts I polled described extroverts as "upbeat" and able to "keep things light" and "cheer you up."" (p186)

... His own world is a safe harbour, a carefully tended and walled-in garden, closed to the public and hidden from prying eyes. His own company is the best. He feels at home in his world, where the only changes are made by himself. His best work is done with his own resources, on his own initiative, and in his own way ... His retreat into himself is not a final renunciation of the world, but a search for quietude, where alone it is possible for him to make his contribution to the life of the community. (p14)

The section on SELF-REPROACH was also very helpful. -- "Introverts tend to internalize problems. In other words, we place the source of problems within and blame ourselves." (p174) A list of helps is provided to overcome this problems -- things like 1) notice how you talk to yourself, 2) practice being kind to yourself, 3) give others credit for their part in problems...

One of the best tips in the whole book -- when an introvert arrives home from being gone a long time -- give ten minutes of undivided attention to children/spouses right away. Once they are reassured of your presence they will bet bored and go back to their activities living you alone to relish some guilt-free solitude. (p186) It works. I used to come home drained thinking only of getting away by myself, but family kept intruding on my quiet which led to much stress. Now when I come home I give them my full attention and within 30 minutes they have left and I have peace and quiet to do what I want and relax and recharge.

The section APOLOGIES, EXPLANATIONS, and EXCUSES was also a big help -- it is OK to be an introvert and it is OK to not want to participate in an event and it is OK to say "no" and mean it. When we are hesitant to say "no" and instead automatically say "not this time" we leave the door open to being invited again instead of stopping the conversation with something else like -- "Wow, Yeah, it's just not what I want to do. Sounds like you'll have fun, though." (p195) -- I love the statement made on page 197 -- Americans are programmed to ignore the subtle. -- So now I'm very honest about how I feel and tactfully stand my ground. I'm much happier and have less stress.

Every introvert needs to read the section MEDITATING IN YOUR MOSH PIT (p236-237) which explains the awesome strengths and gifts that introverts have and the impact that it has on those around us. show less

This is a very insightful and empowering read for an introvert (and it would probably be an enlightening one for the extroverts who are close to us). I was relieved to see myself in several of the scenarios Helgoe offers (e.g., wanting to leave parties early, preferring to work, rather than chat, while I'm at work, being energized by ideas and alone time, etc.), and to be reassured that this is in no way abnormal--that, in fact, more than half of us are introverts. Probably the most valuable part of the book is Helgoe's discussion of "the extrovert assumption" in American society. She argues convincingly that extroversion is what we value--and see--in our society, and how that can make you feel like a weirdo if you don't happen to enjoy show more small talk and meeting new people. Good stuff to know. show less

I want to rate this book more than 5 stars!

Now I know I'm not an alien because :

- I LOVE books
- I NEED to be alone
- I NEED to have my "man cave"
- I NEED to understand how things works and why
- I have to deal with my mind filled with so much ideas, dreams, ...
- ...

While I was reading this book, I had to stop sometimes because I was about to cry. Why? Because I understand that I rejected (almost) what I'm really are for 37 years!

Finally, someone understand what I feel since I was born!

A book by an introvert, for introverts. The author felt that something was wrong with her until after she got a PhD. Then she realized that she is an introvert in a society that praises and honors extroverts. This book emphasizes that it's okay, even good to be an introvert. According to MTBI, 50% or more of people are introverts.

"she underindulged. She did not give her desire enough time, thought, or attention. In fact, addictive behaviors usually have more to do with a need to extinguish desire. The thinking is: 'If I binge, I won't ever be hungry again,' or 'If I build a huge house with everything I need, I will never have to move.' Why in the world would we want to eliminate our experience of hunger or stop exploring new horizons?" show more (Page 89)

The Holding Capacity of Introverts - how to capitalize on it
Step 1: Capture you wishful thinking.
Step 2: Look into the desire.
Step 3: Fantasize.
Step 4: Allow new and conflicting desires.
Step 5: Allow fulfillment. (Page 89-90)

"Practice giving. Give time to what you value. Give up a little control. Work and play from a position of abundance, from an attitude of leisure." (Page 93)

Bill of Rights for support:
...
"If someone makes a request and demands an immediate response, say 'no.' It is easier to change a 'no' to a 'yes' than it is to get out of something." (Page 94)
...

"If we are to work through our differences, both (introverts and extroverts) need to throw down the selfish accusation, acknowledge that we are different and communicate. When we accept and respect our differences, the rest is not that hard." (Page187) show less

granted, i may be biased in my full 5 star rating, but i really loved this book...mostly b/c i could relate to it and see that others feel the same way. i wouldn't say that i agreed 100% with everything, but it did give me a lot of insight to myself and people in general. there are a lot of explanations of the differences b/t introverts and extroverts, including how each is energized, and each group's idea of fun. it's a quick read that anyone could benefit from if one is interested in understanding people.

As an avowed introvert, the book appealed to me. Scientific evidence is slim, and we end up with primarily a self help book intending to make you feel good if you are an introvert. Don't chagrin...it's all good. Well, Helgoe's points were generally valid, sometimes enlightening, but i was disappointed by the self-help tone of the book I wanted something firmer.

"Quiet" by Susan Cain is the book I read next - and THAT is the book I was hoping this one would be.

This book could not be more spot-on. It is accurate, funny, warm and detailed. I much appreciated the encouragement and positivity within this book. As a fellow introvert myself I loved the contemplative nature of this book that was partnered with facts and humor, too. You will gain much from this book whatever your personality type!