Falling in Love: Why We Choose the Lovers We Choose

by Ayala Malach Pines

Description

How mystical is love really? Sought after, capable of sending us to emotional extremes from abysmal misery to irrepressible joy, love is often perceived as a force beyond mortal control. Is it as dumb, blind or arbitrary as we often think, and are we subject to its whims? Or do we actually choose carefully, if not always wisely, the partners we do? Falling in Loveshows us that we both consciously and unconsciously select those with whom we have intimate relationships. Written by a renowned show more psychologist and couple's therapist, this fascinating, engaging mix of psychological research and clinical anecdotes discusses how each of us can, through successful intimate partnerships, help ourselves to grow as individuals. Each chapter concludes with suggestions for those seeking love, and explains how self-knowledge is the foundation to a healthy, satisfying relationship. show less

Recommendations

Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples by Harville Hendrix

Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples

Harville Hendrix

Self-Knowledge and the Self by David A Jopling

Self-Knowledge and the Self

David A Jopling

The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships by Harriet Lerner

The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships

Harriet Lerner

The Psychology of Love by Robert J. Sternberg

The Psychology of Love

Robert J. Sternberg

He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys by Greg Behrendt

He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

Greg Behrendt

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert by John M. Gottman

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert

John M. Gottman

Living, Loving and Learning by Leo F. Buscaglia

Living, Loving and Learning

Leo F. Buscaglia

Psychology and 'Human Nature' by Peter Ashworth

Psychology and 'Human Nature'

Peter Ashworth

Mars and Venus Together Forever: Relationship Skills for Lasting Love by John Gray

Mars and Venus Together Forever: Relationship Skills for Lasting Love

John Gray

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want In Your Relationships by John Gray

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want In Your Relationships

John Gray

Contemporary British Novelists by Nick Rennison

Contemporary British Novelists

Nick Rennison

Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships by David Schnarch

Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships

David Schnarch

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No, To Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No, To Take Control of Your Life

Henry Cloud

Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships by Henry Cloud

Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships

Henry Cloud

Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love by Helen E. Fisher

Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love

Helen E. Fisher

Learning Mathematics: From Hierarchies to Networks (Studies in Mathematics Education) by Leone Burton

Learning Mathematics: From Hierarchies to Networks (Studies in Mathematics Education)

Leone Burton

Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Sue Johnson

Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love

Sue Johnson

The Mastery of Love by Miguel Ruiz

The Mastery of Love

Miguel Ruiz

Naturalization of the Soul: Self and Personal Identity in the Eighteenth Century by John Barresi

Naturalization of the Soul: Self and Personal Identity in the Eighteenth Century

John Barresi

Mars and Venus in Love: Inspiring and Heartfelt Stories of Relationships that Work by John Gray

Mars and Venus in Love: Inspiring and Heartfelt Stories of Relationships that Work

John Gray

Soul Mates: Honoring the Mysteries of Love and Relationship by Thomas Moore

Soul Mates: Honoring the Mysteries of Love and Relationship

Thomas Moore

Love is a Choice : Recovery from Codependent Relationships DVD by Robert Hemfelt

Love is a Choice : Recovery from Codependent Relationships DVD

Robert Hemfelt

The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values, and Spiritual Growth by M. Scott Peck

The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values, and Spiritual Growth

M. Scott Peck

Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life by Byron Katie

Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life

Byron Katie

Contested Bodies by John Hassard

Contested Bodies

John Hassard

Love by Leo F. Buscaglia

Love

Leo F. Buscaglia

Love is a Sweet Chain: Desire, Autonomy and Friendship in Liberal Political Theory by James Martel

Love is a Sweet Chain: Desire, Autonomy and Friendship in Liberal Political Theory

James Martel

The Language of Politics (Intertext) by Adrian Beard

The Language of Politics (Intertext)

Adrian Beard

The Dance of Intimacy: A Woman's Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships by Harriet Lerner

The Dance of Intimacy: A Woman's Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships

Harriet Lerner

Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood

Women Who Love Too Much

Robin Norwood

How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving by David Richo

How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving

David Richo

Autobiography by Linda Anderson

Autobiography

Linda Anderson

The Unconscious by Anthony Easthope

The Unconscious

Anthony Easthope

Fifty Key Thinkers in Psychology by Noel Sheehy

Fifty Key Thinkers in Psychology

Noel Sheehy

Finding the Love of Your Life by Neil Clark Warren

Finding the Love of Your Life

Neil Clark Warren

Keeping the Love You Find: A Personal Guide by Harville Hendrix

Keeping the Love You Find: A Personal Guide

Harville Hendrix

Making Love Last Forever by Gary Smalley

Making Love Last Forever

Gary Smalley

Encyclopedia of Science and Religion (MacMillan Reference USA) by Wentzel Van Huyssteen

Encyclopedia of Science and Religion (MacMillan Reference USA)

Wentzel Van Huyssteen

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help YouFind - and Keep - Love by Amir Levine

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help YouFind - and Keep - Love

Amir Levine

On Film by Stephen Mulhall

On Film

Stephen Mulhall

Solitude: A Return to the Self by Anthony Storr

Solitude: A Return to the Self

Anthony Storr

The Highly Sensitive Person in Love: Understanding and Managing Relationships When the World Overwhelms You by Elaine Aron

The Highly Sensitive Person in Love: Understanding and Managing Relationships When the World Overwhelms You

Elaine Aron

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment by Steve Harvey

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment

Steve Harvey

Shamanism: An Introduction by Margaret Stutley

Shamanism: An Introduction

Margaret Stutley

The Relationship Cure by John Gottman

The Relationship Cure

John Gottman

Stream of Consciousness: Unity and Continuity in Conscious Experience by Barry Dainton

Stream of Consciousness: Unity and Continuity in Conscious Experience

Barry Dainton

Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl―A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship by Sherry Argov

Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl―A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship

Sherry Argov

Emotions Can You Trust Them? by James Dobson

Emotions Can You Trust Them?

James Dobson

The Unconscious: A Conceptual Analysis by Alasdair C. MacIntyre

The Unconscious: A Conceptual Analysis

Alasdair C. MacIntyre

Popular Music: The Key Concepts

Roy Shuker

Member Recommendations

Why Love Hurts: A Sociological Explanation by Eva Illouz

by nsblumenfeld

Complete Recommendations

Member Reviews

Featured Recent Thumbs

All Ratings
1
1
1
No Rating

2 reviews

William1979 9 reviews

Though I don't like this kind of books, I was pleasantly surprised and actually quite impressed by the analysis of Love she made. Maybe because I could relate to many examples she gives. clear and interesting.

Behavioral Sciences

Ratings