Passion and Purity

I’ve read books about dating and purity before, but never one quite like this. Mrs. Elliot shares her and Jim’s love story, and interspersed with their story are thoughts and a lot of advice about what they did right, what they did wrong, and what the Bible has to say about the many different aspects of dating and relationships in general. This is a very practical book. She doesn’t push a particular relationship style (dating vs. courtship, etc.), but what she does do is encourage every single—young or old alike—to dedicate their lives to the Lord, and let Him have the ultimate say. The main encouragement I got from this book was to put the Lord first in everything—and that kind of advice is applicable in every area of life, show more not just in romance! I’d recommend this book to every young person who is serious about following the Lord, and just about everyone else, too. This book is full of practical encouragement, and I believe it is just as relevant today as it was when it was first published thirty years ago. show less

I'd say that it has been an amazing read, and went in a direction, not unlike the author's experience, that I wasn't expecting.

For those unfamiliar with the book, "Passion and Purity" recounts Elizabeth's (Bett's) relationship with her first husband, Jim Elliot, both whom fallen head-over-heels for each other. In contrast to a various rom coms, novels, sitcoms, culture, etc., while feelings were felt very quickly (within months), they did not get married much later - about six years later.

They met in college, and for all intents and purposes, they were the "ideal couple". Both God-fearing and training for ministry. Both were putting God first. However, this account, much like Elliot's "The Path of Loneliness" is raw. Their waiting was show more far from easy, and between reading Bett and Jim's letters, as well as other folks' questions to Elizabeth, their emotion was palpable and extraordinarily relatable. As a man, it gave me some valuable insight of a lady's mind even when things are being done "right". Difficulties in, but commitment to, trusting God are laid out, which provided much encouragement for me, and I'm sure others, as I faithfully walk along God's will. There were also many moments of conviction in how I was going about things, and some points for me to think about.
It's a long journey, and the book ends in marriage. But I also knew that Jim is eventually killed on the mission field about a year after their marriage (described in "The Path of Loneliness). In light of that the book really challenged me to see the hand of God in Bett and Jim's relationship, while at the same time empathizing with their emotional and spiritual turmoil in the midst of being faithful.

Everyone should give this book a read if you looking for an example how a man and woman can come together clothed in the love of God, and how God sanctifies that natural love to become much more like Biblical love. Moreover, it helps you see how natural love is not inherently sinful, but rather beautiful when brought under the subjugation of Christ. Finally, I'm certain that the book will address a number of questions that consistently come up in 21st century relationships, such as intention, patience, and navigating distance.

Go read "Passion and Purity". show less

My mom made me read this book when I started to complain to her that I thought I would be single for the rest of my life. I was only 17 at the time so there was no reason to worry but I'm really glad she made me read it then because it completely changed how I viewed love, marriage, and family. It's basically an autobiography that chronicles the love story of the author and her first husband Jim Elliot. It took me a while to make the connection between the Jim Elliot of Passion and Purity and the missionary that I had heard so much about. So if you're looking for a how-to guide you'll probably be a bit disappointed. I had no real expectations so the book didn't have to deliver anything but a good read and it's so much more than that. show more It's insightful, honest, engaging, and life-changing. show less

In Passion and Purity, Elisabeth Elliot uses her love story with her first husband Jim Elliot to illustrate the practical principles of the book's subtitle: bringing your love life under Christ's control. For five years she and Jim waited to pursue their relationship, because Jim knew he needed to be single for the missionary work he was undertaking at that time. During this period, Elisabeth kept detailed diaries recording her thoughts, prayers, and struggles with submitting to God's will. It was not an easy road, but through Christ Jim and Elisabeth were able to offer their love to God and accept when His answer was "not yet." It's a profound lesson, and all the more when the blessing denied is such a wonderful one.

I was disappointed show more somewhat because I thought this book would be primarily about how to move toward purity, with some examples from Elisabeth's life to illustrate her points. But instead it was the other way around — very autobiographical, with the principles of submission and holiness explored more incidentally. There's nothing wrong with that, of course. I just found myself not quite so interested in the details of her relationships with God and Jim; I wanted more focus on Scripture and practical purity. More structure would have been helpful, too.

Another thing I found problematic were some of Jim's letters that Elisabeth quotes. Several were extremely open and honest about his sexual desire for her. I'm not a prude and I think physical desire is a gift of God and absolutely has to be addressed in any book about purity, but the desire expressed in his letters was so intensely private and very suggestive... not sinful, but not to be placed before the public eye. Some of it was so explicit as to conjure ideas that I needed to instantly dismiss. I think this places a huge limitation on how we can use and recommend this book, especially with teens.

Elisabeth frequently quotes old hymns and poems, and I found this wearing after awhile. The spiritual principles represented are timeless, but not every hymn or poem is. I like many old hymns and enjoy archaic language in poetry, and I understand they were extremely meaningful to her as she worked through these issues. These elements are just overused to the point of near-tedium.

So that's a lot of negativity about the book. The things I liked can best be explored by quoting Elisabeth's own words:

I am convinced that the human heart hungers for constancy... There is dullness, monotony, sheer boredom in all of life when virginity and purity are no longer protected and prized. By trying to grab fulfillment everywhere, we find it nowhere. (21)

So long as our idea of surrender is limited to the renouncing of unlawful things, we have never grasped its full meaning... (Lilias Trotter, 37)

Waiting on God requires the willingness to bear uncertainty, to carry within oneself the unanswered question, lifting the heart to God about it whenever it intrudes upon one's thoughts. (59)

Waiting silently is the hardest thing of all... But the things that we feel most deeply we ought to learn to be silent about, at least until we have talked them over thoroughly with God. (60)

God gives us material for sacrifice. Sometimes the sacrifice makes little sense to others, but when offered to Him it is always accepted. (64)

Our vision is so limited that we can hardly imagine a love that does not express itself in protection from suffering. (84)

It is the control of passion, not its eradication, that is needed. How would we learn to submit to the authority of Christ if we had nothing to submit? (90)

There are some good principles here and I did not dislike the book overall. But this is mainly an autobiographical work and those who want a structured, organized, practical approach to biblical purity should probably look elsewhere. show less

This is the book that led me to choose my husband and choose a career in remote missions work. What more can I say?

Elliot has concisely, practically and gently laid out the truth which in this world falls short of glamorous. Still, she encourages, 'You can do it", "wait', and 'here's why it's worth it'.

The experience from which she speaks is at once compelling and gives her words authority to speak on such a subject. Though written decades ago, her advice is still relevant for singles and dating couples today.

For those interested in missions or ministry who are singles, I have to say it is a must read. Why? Because it matters who you choose to marry, for it may or may not break you on the mission field.

This is not another "dating and relationships" book. It is a powerful devotional book that hits on many aspects of dating and relationships. . . . The challenge issued in this book is not legalistic; the appeal is not made to the body or the mind, but to the heart, that your affection for Christ might overshadow all others as it should. This sounds harsh at first, but the lives of Jim and Elisabeth Elliot bear witness that they were among the "wise servants" who would rather have oil in their lamps than to displease their Master, or to go after any other lover.

I highly recommend this book to any young believers who want to follow Christ into (or during) a relationship.

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress, Blogspot & Librarything by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Passion and Purity
Series: ----------
Author: Elisabeth Elliot
Rating: 5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Counsel
Pages: 192
Words: 40K

Synopsis:

From Wikipedia

Published in 1984 and written by Elisabeth Elliot, is an evangelical Protestant book, part manifesto and part autobiography, on the subject of romantic relationships. The book recounts Elliot's friendship and romance with missionary Jim Elliot, beginning in the 1940s and ending with his death in 1956. Elliot show more uses anecdotes from her relationship with Jim to expound on her views concerning "pure, Christian relationships" and the practice of "waiting on God" for romantic timing and direction.

The late Ruth Bell Graham, wife of popular evangelist Billy Graham, wrote the preface.

My Thoughts:

I read this for the first time back in 2000 when I was single and desperately trying to not be single. That was a very different time in my life from now and I read this now to see how things had changed more than because I thought I needed to read this book.

I will say, besides being saved by Jesus Christ, getting married was the best thing that ever happened to me. Books like this helped me stay the course during those tumultuous hormone years when all I wanted was to give way to my baser desires.

So this time around, it was like looking back down a mountain side. This book is written to single people who are dealing with keeping their purity and walk with God while navigating the world of courting/dating. It was a fantastic reminder that I have not always been where I currently am. That in turn gave me hope because it means that I am not always going to be where I currently am either. God has plans for each stage of our lives.

It has spurred me on to go look at some marriage counsel books by Dr. James Dobson to see what advice is given to married couples. While we're doing just fine, heading off things before they happen is the best way to keep things going just fine.

★★★★★ show less