Don'ts for Wives

This is a tiny little book, about 2 x 3" and I expected it to be full of outdated and silly information, with perhaps some household tips that would be useful.

I was surprised to find it has a lot of fairly practical advice for getting along in a partnership--with some sexist views, but not that many overall. It's pretty easy to think of the terms in a broader sense, and it could apply to different types of people rather than "the husband" or "the wife" in the way it's presented.

There are a few amusingly dated items, but again, it isn't the general trend.

Wives have to watch their attitudes and emotions and as expressed in Don'ts For Husbands, there is apparently an ongoing war over husbands absentmindedly stalking around sharpening pencils and trailing shavings on the floor. Still, there is quality timeless advice about considering the spouse's point of view and generally being considerate and forgiving. Some is rather chilling:

Don't urge your husband to save enough money to "retire." His retirement may very likely shorten his life by depriving him of his chief interest.

It is taken for granted that chief interest is not his wife.

In 1913, women were expected to wear smotheringly hot full length dresses in order to be considered decent. Most women did not work outside of the home, being expected to be happy in their role as wife and mother. In most of the world, women didn’t even have the right to vote. Surely any marital advice given at this time would seem incredibly outdated or, at the very least, charmingly quaint, in the year 2011? It was with this attitude that I first opened the pages of Don’ts For Wives by Blanche Ebbutt. It did not take me long to realise just how wrong I was. While some of the tips are no longer relevant to the average reader – those having to do with how to deal with servants, for example – much of the wisdom within this volume show more is as relevant today as it was then. I found myself taking note of many pieces of advice, with the intention of attempting to remedy my behaviour within my own marriage.

Much chastened, I moved onto Don’ts for Husbands with a more open mind. Once again, I was surprised at how relevant much of Ms Ebbutt’s advice is to today’s relationships and the progressiveness of some of the points, considering the era in which the book was written.

It is a shame that these books have been so unknown for so long, as I feel that the advice in them is more relevant to a newly married couple than a dozen books of the Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus persuasion. I would venture to go so far as to state that a copy of each of these books should be given to the happy couple as a wedding present (or perhaps a housewarming gift for those in less formal arrangements). Certainly anybody in a permanent relationship should consider reading them. You will be surprised at just how much you are doing wrong. show less

For a book that was written almost 100 years ago, it's doing pretty well in keeping up with the times.

Stay light hearted and don't take things to literally, like he is working for you , he earns the money for the both of you. Back in those days I guess it was normal for the wife not to work and look after the house & their belongings.

Some wives can take a page of two from this book and really learn something.

Bound by Sangorski & Sutcliffe, London, England. Bookplate. "Uniform with this title, Don'ts for Husbands, by Blanche Ebbutt." This guide to the conduct of life is deadly serious, although in the context of our times is rather amusing.