Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours

“Whatever answers I provide in this book are not guaranteed prescriptions for perfect parenting.” - Kevin Leman.

I like the overarching idea of this book: let the natural consequences of the choices your child makes help teach your child personal responsibility through respect and free will. Although I wish he had a "prescription" to my specific questions, I think he does a pretty good job of illustrating his method with many examples. And really, most of this is geared to the 5+ age range, not my little one, although it's good advice I can come back and refer to if it's needed.

My daughter is at that age, the terrible twos, and the temper tantrums have kicked up. She has always been such a mellow and bright-natured girl, so this has been a challenge for us. I decided it was time to seek out some help in the discipline area. My mom gave me this book some time ago, so I took it off my shelf, dusted it off, and checked to see whether Leman's parenting philosophy on discipline would jibe with my own. Fortunately, it did.

He calls his system Reality Discipline, which is just the term he invented to describe a system of accountability and consequences, based on children psychology and faith. In essence, he asks parents to try and stay calm, and respond to misbehavior with the consequences that the situation mandates. show more For instance, if a child intentionally breaks a toy, don't yell and scream. Simply have them help clean up the mess and explain that the money for replacing that toy comes out of their allowance, since we have to pay for what we break. If a child is having a temper tantrum, take them to another room, and tell them that they have a choice to make a fuss but not to bother your time with it. Don't give them an audience. In all situations, use prayer and faith to guide these decisions. He also has his opinions on spanking, which exactly coincide with mine; spanking is an option, but it should be used as a last resort for important situations, such as a child putting herself or others in a dangerous situation.

The book is divided in two parts, the first explains his system and the reasoning supporting it, and the second addresses specific disciplinary scenarios that parents have addressed to him and how to apply Reality Discipline to those problems. Each part is liberally sprinkled with examples from his own family and from his clients. I really agree with his philosophy. He warns parents away from authoritarianism and permissiveness, and paints the picture of an authoritarian parents. This is something that I have endorsed since I studied child psychology. I firmly support natural consequences for misbehavior, and I am right in line with his points on spanking and time outs. The best part of this book was reading about specific applications to discipline problems, because I may have my general ideas about parenting, but taking those and using them in daily life is much more difficult. This book has already supplied me with great ideas, and will continue to be a useful resource for me in the future. show less

Using the 7 principles of reality discipline, Dr. Kevin Leman, father of five and grandfather of four, reveals a practical, action-oriented game plan to
- get kids to listen to parents
- encourage healthy attitudes and two-way communication
- turn off temper tantrums, minimize sibling rivalries, and foil finicky eaters
- put parents back in the driver's seat
- prompt long-lasting, positive behavior and instill values
- rear respectful, well-behaved children who become responsible difference makers in the world

Thought-provoking questions at the end of each chapter and Dr. Leman's real-life examples give readers sure-fire techniques for developing a loving, no-nonsense approach for rearing children.

This is one of my favorite parent-help books. Kevin Lehman makes raising children easy and gives you a few simple steps to follow. Lehman hits the nail on the head, giving parents confidence in discipling children.

In his book, Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours, Leman gives parents specific ways to use their authority correctly as they bring up obedient children with loving discipline. It is called reality discipline.

Parenting

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